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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think your boss shouldn't charge you to go to. BBQ

31 replies

AnnaMosity · 09/07/2012 08:06

Unlrss there were like 20 million people there.
I'm really hacked off and am trying to put off paying.

OP posts:
50ShadesOfGreggs · 09/07/2012 08:08

You need to give more details, here.

Was it a work thing? At his/her house?

InMySpareTime · 09/07/2012 08:08

Don't go, say you're busy.
If it's in work time, say you need to finish some work.
If you intend to go, and intend to eat food at the barbecue, why shouldn't you pay? You would pay for your lunch wouldn't you?

Original poster
AnnaMosity · 09/07/2012 08:08

Work. House. About max 15 people.
FFs just buy a pack of burgers.

OP posts:
ThatBastardGandhi · 09/07/2012 08:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
AnnaMosity · 09/07/2012 08:09

Boss is host. Earns enough to pay. Fgs be generous.

OP posts:
Original poster
AnnaMosity · 09/07/2012 08:09

Oh not at work god no. Or in work time.
I hate stinge bags. Is the most unattractive quality.

OP posts:
Original poster
AnnaMosity · 09/07/2012 08:10

Yes am holding off paying trying to think of good excuse.

OP posts:
lisad123 · 09/07/2012 08:10

Don't go! This is the best bit of having kids, you can say they are sick to get out of stuff Grin

InMySpareTime · 09/07/2012 08:11

If it's in your own time, just be busy doing something else "a family thing" usually works.

InMySpareTime · 09/07/2012 08:13

Or pay for you, and turn up with DCs in tow "oh, you know I have DCs, I assumed you meant all of usGrin", then let them trash boss's "lovely home" perhaps help them a bit

Whoneedssleepanyway · 09/07/2012 08:13

So not compulsary a social thing?

I have a friend who does similar when she hosts big thing, divides up the cost. I think it is really grabby. Ask people to contribute a pudding or salad. She ends up better off as splits cost of everything but people still take flowers or bottle wine.

yanbu

Original poster
AnnaMosity · 09/07/2012 08:15

Yes. I'd rather people brought stuff. Much more friendly. Or just mam up. How much can this cost ? 40?
We rather badly seemed to make a profit on booze at ours.

OP posts:
RaPaPaPumPum · 09/07/2012 08:23

This does sound a bit stingy to me... Particularly as you say he has invited a maximum of 15 people so not very many then Confused

What is the party for? If a thank-you to his team for all their hard work then making the team pay for the meal is completely unreasonable and miserly imo.

If however it is just a get together and he is asking for small contribution of say £10 towards the alcohol it would seem more reasonable...

However I think, if I were the boss, I would prefer to ask everyone invited to bring a plate to share and bring their own alcohol than ask them to contribute financially... It does seem tight and also seems like the boss is not in a sound position financially [which could be concerning for the people working for him!]

Fairenuff · 09/07/2012 08:27

If you have to go and it's in work time then, no, you should not be expected to pay.

If you don't have to go and it's in work time, opt out.

If you have to go and it's in your own time, then no, actually, you don't have to go. Your boss does not own your free time.

If it's in your own time and you want to go, then, yes, it's reasonable to contribute something.

Original poster
AnnaMosity · 09/07/2012 08:28

I know I don't have to go.
It's just wriggling out of it that's the issue.

OP posts:
RaPaPaPumPum · 09/07/2012 08:30

Sorry, forgot to add, if I was the boss I would actually rather chew off my own arm than ask my staff to contribute anything, food, drink or money if I was inviting them to my home for a BBQ.

It just seems odd and i would feel massively uncomfortable about it. I would wonder if my staff felt resentful but unable to say [as I am the person who pays their wage].

It is just this type of stingy ungenerous behaviour which can make employees feel very badly about their employer and this is not a good feeling to engender in the people working for your company!

bigTillyMint · 09/07/2012 08:30

Stingy b@stard.

Doesn't he realise what all his employees now think of him?

Unless you really want to go, make an excuse about family commitments.

Fairenuff · 09/07/2012 16:10

You don't need to 'wriggle out of it' OP, just tell them you're not able to go. You don't have to give a reason. If s/he pushes, just say you have other plans.

FootballFriendSays · 09/07/2012 16:15

Stingy boss. Only excuse would be if it's for fundraising.

Dropdeadfred · 09/07/2012 16:18

I doubt £40 would cover it though!!! Seriously feeding and watering 15 people would cost well over £200. I still think he shouldn't hold a BBQ for staff ( or anyone) if he can't afford it without charging

nickelbarapasaurus · 09/07/2012 16:19

"I'm not going because I don't think it's right that you invite people to a party and then make them pay to attend. If this were a social thing I wouldn't expect to pay for the food, as I am a guest, and you're the host"

Mintyy · 09/07/2012 16:20

Shocking! Can't believe this ... your boss invites you to a non-work do on a non-work day at their house and expects you to pay?? Cringerama.

RuleBritannia · 09/07/2012 16:22

When I first read the thread title, I thought you had been asked to go to B&Q so couoldn't understand why you had to pay.

HipHopOpotomus · 09/07/2012 16:47

Fuck that - if they don't want to cover the cost then it could have been a 'pot luck' thing where everyone brings something.

I agree with Mintyy it's a bit cringe worthy.

I would really resist making any excuses, just simply say "Sorry I cannot come" and leave it at that.

FootballFriendSays · 09/07/2012 16:51

I agree though that catering for £15 people can easily get to £200+.

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