to curl up and die of embarrasment!

[killagorilla]

Ok I have name changed for this because I am so so embarrassed.

Just got back from a weekend away with DP and his family camping. I have a thing about pooing in public toilets, hate it cant do it! So you can imagine my dismay when I arrived at the campsite to see portaloos :(

I thought I would be clever and take Imodium, popped one didn't think it was working. I admit this was a really stupid thing to do but I took quite a few more.
On the second evening my FIL cooked up a BBQ and we were sitting round eating and I felt that "urge". I tried to ignore it but it kept getting worse and worse until I literally felt like I was going to poo myself.

I got up to run to the loos and was horrified to realize I wasn't going to make it in time. Dashed into the tent and grabbed a bin bag, dropped my kegs and ...well you know.
Half way through my DS rips open the tent flaps (wanted to know what I was doing) and my DP's family saw everything.

I'm so mortified, ARGH how am I ever going to face PILs and BIL again?
DP keeps attempting to give me sympathy but keeps breaking out in fits of laughter. I feel like I want the ground to swallow me up!

helen I think they think I am a psychopath. I got up from the table in a panic and blurted "Oh, just going to the toilet" realized I wasn't going to make it and said "Actually that can wait, DD needs some bonjela" and rushed into the tent.
A few minutes later and they witness me shitting in the tent! How weird does that look?
The worst was FIL's reaction which was a disgusted "Jesus Christ!" (he is quite up tight). I really don't think they were impressed, well maybe more shocked but who can blame them.

Ha ha ha ha

What I want to know is who shut the tent flaps? Was it ds or did you have to hobble sideways and grab them off him as well?

Lol @ 'DD needs bonjela'

God help anyone who asks if you have any bonjela in your house!

luna my DP saw his (and me) panicked and shouted "DS!" got up to grab him, therefore anyone who didn't notice did! I just froze and I dont know what came over me but I calmly said "DS please shut the tent for mummy".

You poor thing, can't help laughing - the Bonjela bit cracked me up! :o

If it's any consolation this is EXACTLY the kind of idiotic situation I would find myself in...

Yeah, I can see me getting into this situation too! OP, you have my sympathies.

You poor moo! I'd have to divorce him!

Thanks for your sympathies everyone! Is it bad that I contemplated grounding my DS for life at the time? :o

And I once had to poo in a carrier bag in a boyfriend's bedroom as his dad had been in the loo for HOURS! :(

its a pity you are not brazen, you could have shouted for someone to bring you the loo roll , how did you manage that one btw?

to be fair if you were in the middle of a meal and saw someone's bare arse in wellies shitting in a bag 'Jesus Christ' would not be an unreasonable thing to say, but they were BU to not be impressed at your inventiveness

If they say anything, tell 'em they should be grateful you didn't use their sleeping bag!

You nutter....

Oh dear

Well, clearly there was something about the food that FIL was cooking up that had anti-imodium properties.

If I have just one of those tablets, I don't poo for a fortnight.

I'd be worried more about your Ds as he might be asked about his camping trip and that will be the one thing he remembers and shares!

I so sorry, but the bonjela bit has made me cry with laughter.

You have my sympathies

Please do not be embarrassed, OP. I was on holiday in Morocco with a small group (12 altogether) and we were all 'taken ill'. Our bus had to stop so often for us to aim for bushes, rocks or anything else available to perform behind that we took ages to get to our destinations. Imodium was useless. Once I was taken so short that I didn't make it to the toilet and had to return to the bus for a change of clothes. We were all the same so no one thought less of anyone else in the group. We even had to perform behind a bush where someone else had bagged a space so we were not alone. It could happen to anyone in any circumstances.

I have to add that my experience is well documented in my holiday diary.

Oh bless you, you sound just like me! And bless your DH for taking the bin bag - clearly above and be bloody yond.

I've heard of not shitting on your own doorstep but that's something else.You've got no choice but to turn it into a joke.You could always warn them that if they make fun of you,you're a shitbag and you'll shit on them from a big height and they should know,so better be careful.

ah bless you, I feel your pain. The thing to remember is, everyone craps, including your uptight FIL. I've peed in the cat litter tray when ILs were occupying our bedroom (and en suite) and we lived in small flat so we were sleeping in living room. The cat litter was in the grotty space under the outside stairs in a basement flat. I've kind of resented the ILs ever since, though the cat forgave me :) What can we do, eh? We're human. Every time you feel , think of your FIL straining on the loo once a day - we all do it :)

Aw, poor you OP. I've never been camping and don't think I'll bother now.

The embarrassment will fade in time!

absolutely hysterical, sorry! You will be able to laugh about it in many....many years to come I'm sure

If its any consolation they probably heard you shitting before they saw you. Tents dont block sounds.

Have your inlaws suggested when the next camping trip may be???