to be upset when DH lets ASD DD watch bits of 18 rated films/PS3 games..

[fallingwater]

My DD1 is eight. She has echolalia, social communication issues nad a BIG issue with authority- especially MINE. SHe told me to "STUFF YOUR MOUTH" this afternoon when I wasn't even talking to her. So I calmly asked her to come to the upstairs room cos DH said don't worry, leave her with me. When I asked him if he had heard what she said to me, he answered with a HUH??
Then he told me.."she probably picked it up from this game I'm playing..."
AIBU to want him to censor what she sees on telly ??!

No not at all you are not being U I am huge on censorship and age these games are not suitible for children and I would ask him if he could play when she isnt around and explain why,

YANBU. She shouldn't be exposed to anything that affects her in a negative way at such a young age. He needs to grow up.

YANBU at all regardless of ASD.

trouble is, whenever I talk to him about it, he tells me I'm being Unreasonable and a 'KILL-JOY' IYSWIM...There's no easy way to talk to him, its either my tone is aggressive, or I am being vindictive and want to ruin his day off. He seems to practise no parental responsibility apart from when I', sick or ill.

YADNBU. DS2 has ASD and echolalia too, and we have to be so careful what we say near him as he repeats everything in front of anyone! Luckily we are not a particularly sweary family, but he still says "Bloody Hell" quite a bit. I wouldn't want him picking up anything worse.

He is not being a very responsible parent, irrespective of your DD's special needs.
An eight year old should not be exposed to inappropriate content - and her father should be ensuring this.

He sounds like an annoying man-child.
Ruin his day off?

How old is he? He sounds like a petulant teenager, not a responsible parent! He shouldn't have to be told they are unsuitable, there is an 18 on the packaging for a reason!

exposing children too inapropriate films and games is now a child protection problem I know it sounds dramatic and extreme but showing children this sort of thing is detrimental to them, I dont think children will go out and shoot somebody because of watching a game, but kids can have little understanding of empathy or shock by being exposed to it,

There are age ratings on films and games for a reason. The ASD has nothing to do with it either... I wouldn't let ANY children watch something over their age.

I would be furious if my DP was exposing our daughter (6) to things that were too complex or inappropriate for her.

Perhaps you need to treat him a bit like a child and say that if he cannot control what he shows DD, you will take the ps3 away! He can easily get his leisure time when she is in bed in the evening!

you all are so like me!! Well, to put things in perspective, Booette, he's 37 (38 this month-end) Sounds surprising, eh!!? I'm mostly gobsmacked too! I mean, how the F* can he be telling me he thinks I am unreasonable and don't want him to enjoy his leisure time on his day off.. I offer totake the DDs out to thepark, but he says he wants to 'spend time with them' like this??! Yeah, righty-ho! I feel very very but cannot talk to him bcos my MIL lives with us, as does her mother adn (brother who is in India right now, thank god!!) so its a bit of a circus and I hate creating a scene... He wil not come out to talk to me by 'going out for a walk' so dialogue is non-existent. In other ways, he's learnt to fend for himself as i am not the kind of wife his mum wanted me to be to him- one who serves him dinner n lunch... he has odd mealtimes anyways, on his day off. sorry for the rant, Ladies, I just needed to get this off my chest, before i blow up.. Like you , Booette, i was never the swearing kind, but he got me off and started swearing at me years ago, and now If i get really really mad, stressed or whatever (I'm seeing a councellor for my depressin issues, btw) I let rip once in a while... I am shocked at myself and extremely disappointed in what i have become... someone with zero intrest in things I loved doing previously.... how can I get ti zing back in my life!!? I work 4 days a wek, and don't drive, but i can ride my bicycle everywhere... as i'm a bit of a marathon cyclist!

sorry for the spelling mistakes, I know they are there, but I was typing too fast and hit post...

It's never reasonable to expose children to unsuitable games and films. As people have already said, there are age limits for a reason. Even if you treat them as guidance and not necessarily hard and fast rules. YANBU in being cross, OP. I'd be similarly and that's without having to take account of your dd's ASD. It's downright irresponsible and very unhelpful.

YANBU!!!!

There were 8 year olds on the other thread about this the other day PLAYING these games. YANBU.

I'd make a scene tbh and if his mum sat there like a gurning moron I would question her on how appropriate she finds it.

If DH did this with ds I would simply chuck ds's coat at him, put mine on and get him out of the house. The discussion with the dh/parenting differences bit could wait; i would regard this as actively harmful to my child and as such would act.

Later, I'd ask him to explain to me how this is a POSITIVE experience for your dd, as opposed to 'she's safe, fed, warm and with a parent'. That's the minimum. What is he offering, positively, to her apart from that basic minimum? You shouldn't be having to defend yourself IMO, he should.

Oh btw, the killjoy thing? He's just throwing names around to try and stop you talking when he doesn't want to listen. Don't be put off by that, you're an adult.

Wow! It feels SOOOO good to hear from you all that I'm NOT the insane, dictator I sometimes feel like, but just another mum who wants to protect her kids... I spoke to him, BTW, and he ho-hum-med and sort of agreed... now i'm in a mad scramble to finish changing the duvets n sheets in kids' room so they can play therein. But seriously, I do need to address the issue with him even if MiL is present, although she'll hate me for creating a scene, TBH. To her, NOTHING he EVER does is WRONG. Period.

Don't 'get it off your chest', use it. Don't offer to take your dds to the park, if they're doing something you regard as harmful, just take them. If he says he wants to spend time with them, just say 'Great, I'll look forward to you catching us up.'

As custardo used to say, never forget how much power you have. You are the matriarch. Are they seriously going to stop you doing the right thing for your daughters? When they know, really, that what they are doing is poor to harmful?

so get your daughters to help you do the duvets!

By 'addressingthe issue, i mean tackle him about DD1 \watching him play those games... its hard cos if i try to take her away, she screams, shouts, kicks at me and says " I HATE YOU mummy" and he just hold his head and acts as if i am creating unrest when there's peace n quiet if i let her be...

tell him he has to do as he's told. as people have said, you're the boss.

He doesn't have to do what he's told!!!! That's not what I meant at all!

Ta, Joanofarchi...
Already finished the beds with DDs in their room watching me, and helping me too. (its hard cos its a bit cramped in there But now DH has made them sit down for dinner while I'll jump intothe shower then tackle the ironing. DDs can watch Jungle Book on DVD for a bit till bedtime. I think I WILL use this, thank you all!!
BTW, its okay as I repeated my point of not letting the girls watch anything other than a PG rating, and that too with one adult present. Felt good cos it was within earshot of MiL. (She's not-speaking-to-me cos she's miffed
He let me take charge, which is a first for me. I felt I did not have the option to re-evaluate my stand or back off when he turned those eyes on to me cos of all you ladies' support and I am grateful for that. Thank you again, all of you...