...or is dh? Sleeping with newborn

[cathyearnshaw]

Have a 2 week old dc. Dh has slept in the spare room every night since she was born as I have pregnancy snoring (and has done so for several months).
I'm a bit cross as I think while he's been on paternity leave he could have slept in with us and got up to change her, wind her etc or just shown a bit of solidarity.
I totally accept he shouldn't share a room once he starts back at work.
He says I'm being ott and it's no big deal doing night feeds etc and I don't need him to be there. Which I don't but that's not the point...of I say anything I'm being childish.

i prefer DH to sleep in the night i just didn't see the logic in both of us being exchusted, when DC2 was born it made sense for him to sleep all night and then he could keep up with DC1 who was 3

Hmm I actually think the OP may be being unreasonable.
She has 'pregnancy snoring' and he moved out of the room due to that. Because he couldn't sleep. If he sleeps in the same room he will be awake when the baby is and when baby and OP are asleep due to her snoring. If this is the case, when does he sleep? During the day?
It can be vet lovely at night, I get that. How much does he do during the day?

Put baby in with him, sorted !!

I suppose I don't want him to do anything really or even to wake up. Just be in the bed with me. To take some kind of responsibility or something. It's all a bit moot now anyway way as he's back at work tomorrow and will stay in the spare room.
As for doing stuff during the day, well I had pre frozen a load of food. and he kind of sees it as a chance to sort out stuff on the car and house!

Sorry op are you saying you want both you and your oh to be tried

Is so yabu i make sure my oh has agood nights sleep and usually he takes over baby duties during the day i can lunge around in my pjs and sleep if i want

Dont belive those who say oh yes yu can nap during the day our baby sleeps ony 20 minutes at a time though out the day so both sleeping while the baby sleeps is a fanstey also when the baby sleeps is the time to have a shower, clean ect

Well if he is spending his well rested energy on his to-do list and not you and baby that isn't fair. I forgot to say congratulations! Hope you are well and getting through those first tough weeks ok, reading this brings it all back!!

I have nothing useful to add, I just wanted to say you and me both, re the pregnancy snoring!

I was so bad I woke myself up most nights, and the drooling, I was like fucking St Bernard.

My lovely mother filmed me on her phone sleeping on the sofa one afternoon, then pissed herself laughing when she played it back to me, it was horrendous, I sounded worse than I thought, it wasnt the sort of noise you would expect to hear out of a woman, more like a 50yr old 40 stone drunk bloke with sleep apnoea.

I don't want to say you are unreasonable because you are dealing with a newborn and congratulations on that

However, because I BF my two, I've never really felt that DP should be involved in the nighttime stuff, particularly with my now 3month DD. I co-sleep with her and I effing love it tbh. I've taken the spare room with her (it will be her room eventually) and we just sleep and she fidgets a bit in the night and I feed her lying down and get a load more sleep than I ever did with DS in a cot.

When DD was a few weeks old DP suggested we all slept together and lasted about 2 minutes into the first feed. He couldn't believe how loud she was when she guzzled and took himself off to the spare room.