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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think this is rude/odd/something I just wouldn't do!

71 replies

newmummytobe79 · 06/07/2012 17:26

In the grand scheme of things, and compared to what others have to deal with on here this is petty - but I'd still like your views!

I have a usually good relationship with my MIL and she adores her GC. This is not a MIL bashing thread - I would feel this way if any family member did this.

Here goes:

My mother gives me a photo of my baby that I'd previously said I adored. I leave it in our house. Whilst away my MIL comes in to drop some milk off (nice gesture) and takes the photo. On our return, she tells my DH she has taken the picture and that it's to show off to her friends.

On arriving home, I take my DC to see her. I look up and MY photo is now in a frame on her fireplace. I'm pretty pissed off/shocked, but just say 'oh there's my photo. I wondered where that had gone.'

She asks for a copy, I say yes that's no problem, and she takes it out of the frame ... whilst looking like I've asked her to give me her kidney.

Am I being unreasonable to think this was a rude thing to do!?!

I wouldn't dream of ever taking anything from her house, and then to top it off, displaying said taken thing where I know she will see it!

I also know if the roles were reversed with her DD and her DD's MIL - it would not go down well! Where as I'm more of a walk-over.

I'm feeling 50% petty for taking the picture back when I could ask my mother to print another but 50% well in my right to take back the photo my mother printed for me!

If it helps the jury - she now has her own version which my mother printed for her.

I know it sounds daft - but I'm wondering if I'm BU or if she was?

Thanks
OP posts:
FreudianSlipper · 06/07/2012 17:28

bit strange

er not sure what to say i guess you were a very very cute baby

Beamur · 06/07/2012 17:28

YANBU, she was rude to simply take the picture without asking and really cheeky to frame it - essentially not intending to return it!
I think you did the right thing - maybe next time she won't assume you are such a walk over.
But, good that you gave her a copy of her own. No need to fall out about it.

grovel · 06/07/2012 17:29

She was a little bit out of order. You are very slightly over-reacting. Hope this helps.

LindyHemming · 06/07/2012 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DuelingFanjo · 06/07/2012 17:30

yanbu, I think that's really rude actually.

kdiddy · 06/07/2012 17:31

YANBU at all - how rude!

I caught my MIL trying to take something from ours once - she'd always liked it and decided to take it - was pretty awkward!

Does she have keys to yours?

shrimponastick · 06/07/2012 17:31

I wouldn't have expected someone to take something from my house at all!

Maybe she shouldn't have a key to your home? I wouldn't want anyone in my house when I am not there.

Dprince · 06/07/2012 17:32

Yanbu, but I also think what she did was strange, but not malicious in anyway. I would think this was really strange.

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 06/07/2012 17:33

YANBU - that was rude.

rainydaysarebad · 06/07/2012 17:33

Don't see the problem. Seems like she loves her DGC alot. You could have left it there and got yourself another copy from your Mum.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 06/07/2012 17:33

YANBU, your MIL is rude and presumptuous and probably quite selfish if she thinks it's ok to take things out of people's houses just because she wants to.

BlueFlyer · 06/07/2012 17:34

Yanbu, but it has made me laugh. And I think you'll find it comical that she did that eventually.

Queenofcake · 06/07/2012 17:37

How rude and self entitled.

People who behave in such a self cenred manner like your MIL really piss me off.

Who the fuck thinks its ok to just take something from someones house and keep it as their own.

Its called theft where I come from.

akaemmafrost · 06/07/2012 17:39

That is utterly bizarre Confused.

"whilst looking like i asked her to give me a kidney" made me laugh though.

SauvignonBlanche · 06/07/2012 17:40

YANBU

AKE2012 · 06/07/2012 17:40

YANBU what she did was rude. If she wanted it she could have asked.

TodaysAGoodDay · 06/07/2012 17:42

YANBU, that's very rude of her Shock

hairylemon · 06/07/2012 17:44

Yanbu

valiumredhead · 06/07/2012 17:46

YANBU

pinkpyjamas · 06/07/2012 17:48

Ruuuuuude!
I'd be cross - it is an inappropriate act of self-entitlement.
But then I'd never let my MIL have a key to let herself in with. Grin

diddl · 06/07/2012 17:51

Odd of her imo.

But-she has a key to your house?

MagicHouse · 06/07/2012 17:57

YANBU - that's rude. And quite odd - especially as she'd admitted she had it to show to her friends (not to frame). Sounds like she was seeing what your reaction would be. I think you handled it brilliantly, well done you!

AGiraffeUnderTheFloorBoards · 06/07/2012 18:00

YANBU - Very odd as it would have been easy for her to ask for a copy for herself rather than say she wanted it to show her friends.

Sort of thing my DM used to do and it drove me nuts. I had to explain that she couldn't just take things / look through my things / add things to my house / change things in my house - and she was very sniffy about it. I put it down to her thinking that I was still a child and she still had authority over me even though I was in my mid 30s.

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 06/07/2012 18:03

OP, without getting too analytical - is she acting normally in other ways? It seems a bit impulsive

suburbandream · 06/07/2012 18:04

Ok, she was wrong to take it - she should have just said it was a gorgeous photo, and asked you to get your mum to give her a copy.

But since she'd framed it, surely you could just have let her keep it and got your mum to give you another copy?