to be mad about felt pen and 2 yr old?

[WelshCat]

ExP has just started access with my 23 month old DS. Its in a contact centre, he gets 1hr a fortnight.

The second time DS saw him he came out and his brand new (v. expensive) jumper was covered in felt pen. Like he had actually been drawing on himself. I was fuming and told the staff I would be billing ExP for the jumper if the pen did not come out.

It did come out. BUT... AIBU to be mad about it? I dont think I should have to dress DS in shitty clothes to visit his father. Or, do you take the point of view that ExP 'doesn't know any better'. IMO he shouldn't be the sole carer at any time of a toddler if he doesn't know better.

He also doesn't pay maintenance. If he did I may be more forgiving about the jumper.

Eeerrrmmm my 2 year old is always playing with pens, felt pens, biros you name it. He likes to draw. Sometimes on himself (and therefore his clothes), hell he even draws on me. He's supervised. I class supervision as stopping him from hurting himself and sound himself harm... Not stopping him from getting pen on himself.

It sounds like you're issue is your relationship with your Ex... Please don't let your feelings run off on your DC, it's important for your DC to feel loved and have contact with both parents where possible.

I thought that HV's test toddlers to check their 'mark making' talents?

Bloody typos!!

Add message | Report | Message poster WelshCat Thu 05-Jul-12 22:40:31
seeker, a £2 jumper from primark will not last as long as a £15 jumper from next. Its not like I sent him in there wearing an Armarni suit.

Utter bog wash children at that age grow out of things very quickly most likey grown out of a jumper with in 6 months so primark is just the ticket

My child has a draw full of what we call playing out clothing why would you send him in his sunday best to ruff and tumble with his dad

You just sound bitter about the contact

Merry - it drives me mad but I refuse to let him wear his new uniform until September. He looks like he got his polo shirts out of a skip at the moment :o

WelshCat - truly, a Next jumper will not last longer in the sense that your DS will grow out of it before you get your money's worth. Just dress him in crap clothes when he has contact days. Honestly, it's more important that he has fun than wearing lovely pristine clothes :)

ok ok, I will gracefully admit defeat!!

Just to put all your minds at rest, this has not affected Ds's relationship with ExP, me and ExP have spoken about it, I did not kick off, and I am not present when they have contact so DS would not have known anything was wrong.

I only put him in the nice clothes for contact so ExP wouldnt think I was a shit mum who dressed they baby in crap :(

On another note... I like my DS to be well dressed as well and dislike primark with a passion. I've found Sainsburys do very good quality, but cheap clothing for my DS.

WelshCat who carers if he thinks your a crap mum the persons views on that matter that count are your childs

He can think your shit all day long you know your not your child knows your not so go to primark from now on save your self mney and stress

I guess its just coz Im a single parent on benefits, and I would hate for anyone to look at DS and judge him, to think he looks poor!!

It sounds well snobby of me but its the complete opposite! I just want him to look nice and well looked after.

Its just pen!

Bless you. Seriously. There are cheaper, good quality alternatives out there. The key thing is your DS is clean, fed and loved (and that he's allowed to get messy and play).

What does poor look like though? As long as your DS is wearing clothes that are clean and fit well and are functional that's all that matters. Nobody except a label snob would be able to tell where his clothes are from and who cares what those types of people think anyway.

I am also a single mum but not on benefits and all my DS's clothes come from Sainsbos/Asda/TKMaxx. I'm way too cheap to buy him stuff from Next :o

Honestly, I bet no one is judging you. You sound like you love him very much which is all I ever judge people on :)

To be honest i think primark have some darling bits for children

I seen some kids dressed in tracksuits that cost £££ and they look like easte couture for sure

wait til they paint themselves with red paint with a few splodges of blue and yellow. oh my goodness... it didn't quite wash off... she was covered in red marks, blueish fresh bruise marks and yellow/green old bruise like marks. thank God I had the photographic evidence!

To be honest i think primark have some darling bits for children

I seen some kids dressed in tracksuits that cost £££ and they look like easte couture for sure

"I only put him in the nice clothes for contact so ExP wouldnt think I was a shit mum who dressed they baby in crap"

Dressing a baby cheap clothes does not make someone a shit mum. Why not get some clothes from Tescos or Sainburys. The quality is bit better than Primark but its not quite as expensive as Next.

Clothes from Next are for special occassions. Or get the clothes second hand off ebay.

"It sounds well snobby of me but its the complete opposite! I just want him to look nice and well looked after."

I think I have lost complete sympathy for you. Frankly if you are on benefits then I think its crap parenting to spend lots of money you don't have on clothes. Surely its better to spend the money on fruit and veg.

Clearly I am a crap mother as my daughter is wearing primark pyjamas at the moment.

I dress DS is nice Next/Gap/Monsoon stuff that will last, I buy it all second hand off ebay for the same price as Primark stuff It's only been worn by the original owner for a couple of months before they grow out of it so it is in lovely condition.

OP, I am a parent (and a highly qualified early years professional!) and my 23 month old drew all over his top and his face with a highlighter pen the other day.

My DH can't be trusted to look after his own clothes or the DDs.

He's trashed a very nice shirt, he's no idea what the dirty marks are

My neice coloured her newborn sisters eyelids in with felt tip pen when she slept!

while 'supervised' by mum AND dad lol