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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this person is a bit disturbed?

44 replies

PrettyPrinceofParties · 05/07/2012 16:22

I have a relative who regularly post things about rape on Facebook. I'm sure they're supposed to be jokey, but it really getting to piss me off now. This week there has been two comments about certain celebrities raping dinosaurs/aliens. I just find it incredibly distasteful even though I think it's supposed to be funny.

The thing that's really put my back up is he posted to say he had let his sister watch A Serbian Film and was proud that she was unaffected by it. I'd not heard of the film but googled it and it's in a similar vein to the Hostel films - main themes are rape, snuff films, porn, pedophilia, murder, incest and the rape of a newborn baby thrown in for good measure. I feel totally sickened that anyone would want to watch this, even if it's implied rather than graphic it still seems pretty horrific, but I'm truly horrified that he would show this to his 16 year old sister.

I would block him on Facebook, but I was reading his status updates to see if he was any better - he has severe tinnitus and suffers with depression as a result.

So am I an out if touch old gimmer and this is how 24 year olds are now? Or am I right in thinking it's a bit disturbing to mention rape so frequently?

OP posts:
MissFaversam · 05/07/2012 16:23

I'd say he's not right in the head either.

Sidge · 05/07/2012 16:23

He sounds like a right knob.

I'd block him and tell him why.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 05/07/2012 16:23

It does seem a bit strange tbh. It's not a theme you joke about like that.

BupcakesandCunting · 05/07/2012 16:23

It is disturbing.

I would send him a to the point message saying that you find his posts on the subject upsetting and for that reason you are blocking him. I have blocked relatives for less.

Huffles · 05/07/2012 16:24

I'd find it disturbing too. Why would anyone find anything jokey or want to watch someone being raped?

carlywurly · 05/07/2012 16:26

Nope, definitely disturbing. I'd probably have a word with his parents too, if he's exposing a 16 yr old to that kind of shit.

MrsBradleyCooper · 05/07/2012 16:27

Yep, I'd message him too and let him know what you think.

Vomit actually came into my mouth reading the description of that Serbian Film, despite having heard about it before.

Is he a close or distant relative?

KellyElly · 05/07/2012 16:31

Raping a new born baby Shock Is that even allowed in a film which isn't illegal? He sounds very very strange and disturbed.

DesperatelySeekingPomBears · 05/07/2012 16:37

If he showed A Serbian Film to his 16 year old sister, I'd be very worried about what else he is showing/doing to her.

Original poster
PrettyPrinceofParties · 05/07/2012 16:40

Hmm, was kinda hoping I'd be told I was BU and silly and that lads just like shocking horror films :(

The way I feel at the moment is that I'm glad his painful hearing means he can't be around me (my son's only one so unpredictable with how much noise he makes). Not sure I'd want him round my son at all to be honest.

KellyElly I think the film was banned in certain places, I'm guessing it was an import. He also watched the Human Centipede which is pretty sick too.

OP posts:
lastnerve · 05/07/2012 16:43

If he showed A Serbian Film to his 16 year old sister, I'd be very worried about what else he is showing/doing to her.

Hmm what do you think he is shagging her along to the film?

I would think he obviously wants some attention and makes these statuses hoping someone will be outraged.

I have seen it (not at 16) and it is shocking its not a snuff film though its about a retired porn star being drugged and payed insane money to do awful things.

I can across Audition as a young teen and imprint and actually threw up, was his sister disturbed by it?

Original poster
PrettyPrinceofParties · 05/07/2012 16:44

I don't think there's anything sinister going on with his sister, but I do take your point seriously.

Weirdly, he also posted about those kids that terrorised the elderly lady on the bus and filmed it saying what scum they were.

OP posts:
quoteunquote · 05/07/2012 16:49

send him a message just before defriending him,

I'm de friending you because I find your constant efforts to normalise rape disturbing, as your friend I don't think it helps anyone to continue to not acknowledge this, please contact these people who will be glad to guide towards help. good luck.
www.rapecrisis.org.uk/

lastnerve · 05/07/2012 16:49

People who enjoy 'disturbing films' doesn't make them bad people , its often out of curiosity more than anything.

Original poster
PrettyPrinceofParties · 05/07/2012 16:49

lastnerve I didn't mean to imply it was a snuff film. I read the synopsis, and basically some of the films they were making in the film would be termed as snuff films.

He said his sister wasn't bothered at all by it, but maybe she was just acting tough in front of him. I actually hope it was just a tough act, as I don't think any decent person should be able to remain untouched by that stuff.

OP posts:
mynewpassion · 05/07/2012 16:50

celebrities raping aliens/dinosaurs -- I would've laughed.

However, posting about realistic raping situations is more of concern than watching the Serbian movie.

I have a friend who is fascinated by the minds of psycho killers and loves watching documentaries about them. She also sends protect dogs/cats/every animal messages or cute animal pictures everyday.

StuntGirl · 05/07/2012 16:50

I know a lot of people who use the word rape loosely. I.e. a rubbish song 'raped their ears', seeing someone in a bad/horrible outfit is 'eye rape' etc, etc. I think in some contexts it's lost some of it's original meaning and is used interchangeably to mean violated. I think in those instances you can voice your disgust but don't expect them to change. You may have to make the change; by deleting them or hiding their posts from your feed.

I had one friend at work who would comment on pretty girls by saying "I'd rape her" :( He just didn't get why I got so annoyed by it. It only stopped when I threatened formally reporting him to head office. The worst part was a girl on our team HAD been raped and they had no idea; hearing that multiple times a day was probably awful for her.

lastnerve · 05/07/2012 16:52

I'm de friending you because I find your constant efforts to normalise rape disturbing, as your friend I don't think it helps anyone to continue to not acknowledge this, please contact these people who will be glad to guide towards help. good luck.

tbh a message along that vein would look hysterical tbh but you could message him saying 'I know you're joking but some people may be offended by the constant rape jokes.'

See what his response is??

once saw someone on fb post a 'joke' about someone kicking a pregnant women in the stomach 'hilarious' it made me feel ill tbh. I didnt say anything though. :'(

Original poster
PrettyPrinceofParties · 05/07/2012 16:55

Ok, so maybe language is moving on and to young people 'rape' is no longer off limits as a jokey subject. However, I do feel that he should curb his usage on a site like Facebook where old gits like me and my dad will be reading his posts and may be offended.

I may mention the film thing to his dad.

OP posts:
Original poster
PrettyPrinceofParties · 05/07/2012 16:59

Good idea lastnerve. I don't want to look like I'm over reacting, but I am upset each time I read a post were rape is joked about so casually.

OP posts:
mynewpassion · 05/07/2012 17:05

I had a friend who tried to make a bad joke about a very serious situation on FB. I wrote back and said that I hoped he didn't mean to say that it was alright to do X.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/07/2012 17:18

I would actually be a little worried about him showing a film like that to his 16 year old sister. It is not appropriate or, in fact, legal. He is probably just an idiot but normalising that kind of thing for a 16 year old girl is irresponsible and disturbing.

lastnerve · 05/07/2012 19:10

Yeah start with the 'I'm sure you don't mean to offend but.....

may work better.

kittyandthefontanelles · 05/07/2012 20:43

Lastnerve- as you've seen it- please put my mind at rest...rape of a newborn? Wikipedia says its actually depicted. Also scenes of child rape. please tell me otherwise. I feel sick just hearing those words.

I reckon the sister was traumatised really but doesn't want to let on.

BertieBotts · 05/07/2012 20:51

If people put rape jokes on facebook I tend to reply with "Because rape is always hilarious!" - usually provokes some discussion, or at least makes them think twice before posting anything related again. It might be because they think I'm a mad humourless feminist though...