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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this person is a bit disturbed?

44 replies

PrettyPrinceofParties · 05/07/2012 16:22

I have a relative who regularly post things about rape on Facebook. I'm sure they're supposed to be jokey, but it really getting to piss me off now. This week there has been two comments about certain celebrities raping dinosaurs/aliens. I just find it incredibly distasteful even though I think it's supposed to be funny.

The thing that's really put my back up is he posted to say he had let his sister watch A Serbian Film and was proud that she was unaffected by it. I'd not heard of the film but googled it and it's in a similar vein to the Hostel films - main themes are rape, snuff films, porn, pedophilia, murder, incest and the rape of a newborn baby thrown in for good measure. I feel totally sickened that anyone would want to watch this, even if it's implied rather than graphic it still seems pretty horrific, but I'm truly horrified that he would show this to his 16 year old sister.

I would block him on Facebook, but I was reading his status updates to see if he was any better - he has severe tinnitus and suffers with depression as a result.

So am I an out if touch old gimmer and this is how 24 year olds are now? Or am I right in thinking it's a bit disturbing to mention rape so frequently?

OP posts:

crystaldash · 05/07/2012 20:54

Ok. Pass your relatives details on to me and will tell him exactly how these things affect people. Unfortunately I know that these films are disturbed and fuel thoughts that are wrong. Rape is not entertainment and when you have to live with it 24/7 you realise it. Sorry-sore subject :(

lastnerve · 05/07/2012 20:57

The porn boss takes the porn star to a cinema , and its sorta blurred out as obviously they would never be able to depict that. it is very sickening and it was not easy at all I turned it off a few times.

But your average 16 year old is much more desensitized than in the past.

DoMeDon · 05/07/2012 20:59

Not enough people challenge this stuff. He sounds like an arsehole. I would tell the parents what he showed his sister and the wiki page. Twat.

lastnerve · 05/07/2012 20:59

How old is this person sounds like very 'look at me' adult jokes

lastnerve · 05/07/2012 21:00

I meant *adolescent

kittyandthefontanelles · 05/07/2012 21:16

I know I'm going off topic slightly but I'm so disturbed by the thought that this film exists and can be easily accessed. As someone said upthread, this is a legal film! I'm haunted by those words.

Op- YANBU.

biddysmama · 05/07/2012 21:29

i was disturbed by just reading about that film, i was pregnant at the time and it really affected me

Original poster

PrettyPrinceofParties · 05/07/2012 21:47

Had it just been the rape comments then I'd be annoyed, but probably let it go. The film thing has shocked me though. I feel I need to apologise to the people who've read this thread and weren't aware of the film before hand. It sickening that the film was ever made and that there's a market for it.

crystal I quite agree with what you're saying. I find the 'jokes' fairly offensive, but the film has compounded it. Someone said upthread that they'd have laughed at the dinosaur/alien rape, and yeah, I can kinda see how that just sounds ridiculous, but I think the film comment makes it a far more disturbing picture.

OP posts:

lastnerve · 05/07/2012 22:16

I came across a 'dead baby jokes' via someone elses link , I'd just had a threatened miscarriage.

I felt very faint which I know sounds weird.I was too scared to say anything incase I got trolled.

kittyandthefontanelles · 05/07/2012 22:36

Doesn't sound weird, lastnerve.

Biddy, that's how I feel. Cuddling my sleeping 7 month old now feeling very sad with god awful thoughts in my head and I haven't even seen the film.

taboot · 06/07/2012 12:19

I know someone who watche A Serbian Film (several times!!) She told me it was a good film and to give it a go. I put it it into wiki first (Thank god for the internet!) And never watched it. I was sickened by the fact she'd watched it, she is a mother and was pregnant with her 2nd child at the time. It's one thing watching a film like that but another to talk about it in such a positive light or make "rape" jokes. Very very disturbed in my eyes...

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 06/07/2012 12:32

You could just explain to him that jokes about rape are not funny and why.
I have a lot of young people on my FB. I have squillions of neices and nephews.
They are lovely but sometimes they post things that make me a bit
If I get a clenchy feeling I may gently point out the error of their ways.
That is what being an auntie is all about

I have had some interesting dicussions with my fab but right leaning and reactionary neice! All in good humour and she hasnt deleted me yet.

One of my young relatives posted a photo of a person with a huge head. They thought it was funny and so did their friends. I posted that the photo was of a human being with feelings.
They thought it was a photoshopped picture. I was able to tell them that it was a person with a medical condition.

They took the photo down. They hadnt known because they were young and didnt realise.

It is likely that your guy is emotionally immature and probably unaware of the real issues behind his 'jokes'

If he was in his 30s I would just automatically block him.

valiumredhead · 06/07/2012 12:36

Just hide him so you don't have to see what he posts if you don't want to upset. You have to remember that he is entitled to post whatever he likes on his fb page even if it is offensive crap

openerofjars · 06/07/2012 12:41

Why the fuck would anyone make a film like that? I don't understand. What is wrong with some people?

I'm off to sniff newborn DD's hair for an hour and try to forget I ever read this stuff.

Jesus.

rainydaysarebad · 06/07/2012 12:41

Wtaf? Which brother would get his younger sister to watch shit like that? Definitely disturbed and as he's a relative I'd think it would be pretty easy to have a word with him with a message or face to face about his constant comments about rape. Disgusting man.

captainmummy · 06/07/2012 12:52

You know men can be raped too? Point that out to any male who thinks its funny/a joke - and watch their face go . Yeah, mate, how would you like it?

Original poster

PrettyPrinceofParties · 06/07/2012 15:47

Yes, I think I will have to say something to him. I think he's probably genuinely oblivious to how offensive his jokes are, at least I hope so. May speak to his sister too and see if she's really ok about the film.

I do find these types of films worrying. I think they desensitise the watchers to violence. In all honesty, I'd be more worried for my cousin if she was really unaffected by the film.

OP posts:

NervousAt20 · 06/07/2012 15:58

He sounds disturbed !

Mrsjay · 06/07/2012 16:02

He is watching a film like that with his sister I know the film you are on about its been a remake and was shown on film 4 I havnt seen it just saw the disclaimer, anyway he seems obsessed and it isnt healthy IMO

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