to be having anxiety attacks. Help calm me down.

[scrambledlegs]

sorry for posting in here but I need some help.

Got myself into a right old state yesterday over a complete cock up selling my car here.

Pretty sure I've been had.

Anyway, even after the DVLA assuring me it would be fine this morning, I can't stop panicking. I have chest pains, I'm sweating, I've been sick. Have been like this all day.

I didn't sleep all night.

I don't know what to do. No amount of reassurance will tell me it will be OK and I don't know what to do to get back down again.

Help.

anybody?

It's ok.
It just feels horrid right now

The dvla said themselves that it's all fine and you're not in any trouble

as far as I understand it, what you were told is true. The obligation is for you to inform them that you no longer own the vehicle. It is not your fault if the person buying it has given a false address.

If you are really still bothered by this then call them again to clairfy or ring your local station on the non emergency number and explain to them that you discovered the person had given a false address after they left.

I'm like you by the way and this would be really playing on my mind.

Make a note of when you called DVLA, i would imagine their calls are recorded so you cover your back over the info you were given.

I really, really don't think you have anything to worry about.

Write it all down. The details you have from him, what you have done to trace him - looking up his address etc, when you phoned and what the DVLA have told you. Getting it out of your head and onto paper always helps me when I'm in the midst of a panic. Ring the DVLA again if you want to and just clarify your position, if you've heard the same thing from two different people it will be reassuring.

You have done everything right - it IS going to be okay.

Thank you. I'm going to do that right now

Right, have rung DVLA and explained the situation in rather more florid terms (please tell me what will happen if he robs a bank etc).

Very patient man calmed me down (slightly suspect it was the same one as earlier ) and said that the onus is on him to register the vehicle and I should be taken off regardless now that I've told them I've sold it.

He told me to ring again in 2 weeks to check the progress.

I've calmed down a little. Thinking about it, I think the real reason behind the panic attacks is that I feel stupid, I feel like I've failed or made some stupid error of judgement.

I should have checked he'd signed it, I should have asked for ID, I should have done all of those sensible things you read about ---- but I didn't.

I think it's just a way of beating myself up about it, regardless of whether there will be any consequences either way.

I feel an idiot and I think that's what scares me.

It feels better to say that out loud!

by the way, get yourself a hot sweet tea and have a sit down. You're probably going to feel a bit worn out and sleepy when the adrenalin rush of the anxiety attack wears off.

and you know what, they are all things we should all do but i've sold two vehicles in the last 12 months and not paid attention to the details either time!

thanks queenrollo - for a metaphorical stroke of hair

Have had good chat with DH and managed to eat (for the first time today)

..... and breathe.

My Ex sold his car and when the tax ran out almost a year later over came a reminder... the no-mark mate he'd sold it to had not registered it.

My ex was thousands of miles away, the car was registered to my address, basically I panicked too.

I rang the DVLA, they told me to write a letter to them, explaining the situation, and a couple of weeks later a letter came through to confirm the change.

I would imagine that IF a car is reported as no longer yours, but not registered to anyone, whoever DID buy it would be pulled over fairly sharply by the police to find out why it's not registered.

If it's not registered, it may not be insured either, and the Police are REALLY hot on that.

Don't worry, you really WILL be OK.

As an aside, if you are prone to anxiety, Rescue Remedy REALLY helps. I used it to tackle my mild agoraphobia. Still have a go of it every so often if I feel a bit wobbly.

Thanks Hissy, that's really reassuring.

DH sat me down last night and pointed out it is far more in the interests of the DVLA and the police to take me off registration, and flag it up as unregistered, no tax or insurance, than keep it registered to me for the sake of it and let the other chap drive around unnoticed.

Think rescue remedy could help though. I get myself into these pickles a lot

I would get my coat on and go for a walk, even in this awful rain. Fresh air is a great thing for calming you down and getting things into perspective x

But we all make mistakes and you have learnt from what happened so thats not stupid is it? Its how we learn. With regard to the panic attacks would it help to write down why you are panicking and then write down what a calm, kind friend would say? ie, ok you made a mistake but its alright now etc etc. Then also write how you are actively sorting it? I was advised to do this be a counsellor and found it incredibly helpful at calming me down when i worked myself up into right old state ..it makes you feel calmer and control and helps you put your thoughts in order when it all seems too much.

Concentrate on your breathing, keep it slow and steady. Shut your eyes and concentrate very hard to find which muscles are tense (I generally find my shoulders are up near my ears somewhere) and then relax each one slowly.

This works for me when I get panicky feelings - but I've been getting them for nearly 14 years so I'm practiced!