Huge problems with PIL for me, who was verbally attacked by them, not only 6 days after giving birth but just over a week after simultaneoulsy loosing my DB. DH who suffered as a child and was in a very bad way when first met him due to them, and now over the years - after initially trying to help them build brigdes have realised its no go and awful to have any dealings at all.
Infact after years of trying to get DH to see them in a diff light - come at them in different ways, I was accused of breaking him up from them, even though he was in counseling due to them when first met him! ..DH had best policy all along! Ie, keep at arms length.
Fil in law is very very tough, robotic business man who is mainly mouthpiece for incredibly rigid and strict german wife....when you go to their house there is a room you are not allowed in, and you are very aware its HER house, and that you WILL be made to be subordinate to HER floor, HER granite work top, HER delicate wood flooring that could WARP at the slightest drip of tea....she is obsessed with cleaning, will bath DD and wash hair and all clothes even if she is only there for a couple of hours and she hasnt seen her for a while. They dont talk to my Dh there just " dont scrape this/dont mark that/ be carful of this....she cried and was highly distressed when DH spilt something on her cream carpets saying" I cant have anyting nice when DH is living here" - she has a house most people would weep at! She has also told DH in the past she knows she is anal but all she has is her house!
anyway - FILS bro is visiting from OS, writes round robin to all fam here - with list of what he wants to do - one thing being for his DS to play with our DD.
DH responds, they communicate - and DH ends up with inviting DU over on sunday am, as thats conveient for him ( DU), in the morning and for lunch and if time play park. No response. But assumed - as his previous mail - was "great - where shall we meet and when" - all was fine. Also we are in between his last place where he will be staying and his new place with PIL. So its very conveint to come to ours then go onto next place 7 miles away!
So to then get another round robin of " final" plans, stating on sunday
"DS and DN playing at PILS, Lunch PILs and perhaps play park where PIL live."
Also a snide comment to all - but we feel aimed at DH - ...." please all reply to all much simpler than invidual emails I have to copy and paste" .
We have given benefit of doubt that he somehow missed invitation to ours on email but in my heart I know he has read it.
he has never been to our house, and we have been here for 6 years, he used to always talk at DH like harry enfield teenager, and seems a bit lost now DH is DH , and Father etc...I thought it was great uncle was coming here to be hosted by us - out of the PIL control zone, and perhaps uncle could see DH in new light and refresh the relationship with maybe more respect for DH!
I just feel uncle has been extraordinarily rude to totally by pass our invite and try and move the action to FILs house.
I have not been to PIL house since they attacked me, and I will not go on sunday. My DH will absoluty not go either without me to take DD!