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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think dp should've said no?

48 replies

mariaca · 04/07/2012 20:15

DSS2 goes to the same primary school as his mum's other kids iyswim.

His mum got stuck in town (only explanation), and she asked DP to collect her DCs along with DSS2. He said yes right away which because of DSS' activities meant I was stuck with these two little kids I don't know for an hour.

AIBU to think he shouldn't've said yes?

OP posts:
maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour · 04/07/2012 20:17

YANBU

If he said yes then he should have had them, or he should have asked you first

mynewpassion · 04/07/2012 20:17

Stop being mean. Its only an hour of your time. Put them in front of the tv and give them milk and biscuits as if they were DSS2's friends.

WorraLiberty · 04/07/2012 20:18

No I think he was right to say yes.

He was wrong to leave the two kids with you if you weren't happy to have them...he should have taken them with him or cancelled his son's activity that day.

By the way, your DSS's Mum's other kids are known as his siblings Lol

tidybaby · 04/07/2012 20:18

Why didn't your DP take the other kids with him? Confused

MammaTJ · 04/07/2012 20:19

YABU. It is not the poor kids fault and she asked someone she knows and trusts and is already collecting their joint DS. Would you rather the kids were left stranded? Really? An hour out of your life is no big deal!!

GlitterySkulls · 04/07/2012 20:19

would you rather he left them there, whilst taking their brother away to his activities?

it was a one-off, it's not like she's dumping them on you 24/7.

Dprince · 04/07/2012 20:19

Imo yes yabu. Was dp meant to leave his own child? It would be awful to pick his own up and leave the others.
Obvioulsy this doesn't happen alot as you don't know the other kids.

BadIdeaGenes · 04/07/2012 20:20

YABU, What was he supposed to do, leave his ex's kids stranded? Hardly a good idea if you want to stay on friendly terms.

I understand you may feel a bit awkward with the children but in some sense of the word you're family and it's nice to help each other out.

Where was your DP after he picked them up?

HecateHarshPants · 04/07/2012 20:20

He shouldn't have said yes and then left them with you.

Yes means yes I will do it. To say yes and then drop them on you isn't on. If he said yes, it should have been HIM looking after them.

It's easy to say yes, be the nice guy, rescuer superhero Wink when you're actually dumping on someone else!

MsOnatopp · 04/07/2012 20:20

Shock YABVVVVU

How mean. They are your DSS's siblings. Honestly you sound awful.

The only explanation is that this is a reverse AIBU in which case YABU for that too

Salamanger · 04/07/2012 20:21

YABU. Take the chance to get to know your DSS's siblings.

maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour · 04/07/2012 20:21

I don't think it's mean to expect to be asked if your happy to do something rather than have someone volunteer you for it

wigglesrock · 04/07/2012 20:21

YABU - she asked your partner to pick up their sons half brothers/sisters as she was running late - hardly crime of the century. Why didn't he watch them if you were so pissed off about it?

To be honest I'd do this for a neighbour so would probably do it for someone I've had a child with. Although if this is going to be a drip feed I reserve the right to change my mind Grin Does she do it a lot? Do you not get along?

ChaoticismyLife · 04/07/2012 20:22

What Hecate said.

TheSpokenNerd · 04/07/2012 20:22

Yabu. "These little kids you dont know" are your "Dear Step Son's" siblings. They should know you and you should know them.

BUT why didn't your partner help out with this?

smoggii · 04/07/2012 20:22

YABU, if they were around before DSS2 they were his step kids once and he is still tied to them. If they came along after DSS2 then you and he have done his child's mum a favour, no harm in that you may need one from her one day.

maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour · 04/07/2012 20:23

Or what hecate said Grin

ToryLovell · 04/07/2012 20:23

I would have thought less of any father who would refuse to collect his DCs siblings. But you are right to be annoyed that he did not take responsibility for them

squeakytoy · 04/07/2012 20:23

Awaits the drip feed...

TheSpokenNerd · 04/07/2012 20:23

I have met friendlier strangers than you appear to be OP. seriously...I have had parents that I do not know at ALL offer to give me and my DD lifts to school since we moved to the new village and DD went to a new school.

SOME people care about others.

GrahamTribe · 04/07/2012 20:26

He was right to agree to take the other children and out of order to expect you to look after them.

But you were a fool to agree to do it. Wink :) I'd have told him "You said you'd pick them up, you deal with them."

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 04/07/2012 20:27

YABU. They are all children at the centre of this extended family which you helped create and are now a part of, you should be willing to go out of your way for all the children involved.

My ex has a child with his new DP, we have 2 dc together, and ex's new DP has 2 dc from a previous relationship. My children view their half sibling and step siblings as part of their family, so that makes them family to me too. I would always be willing to help any of the children that aren't biologically mine, and I would expect every other adult involved to feel the same. Including my dh who has no biological dc.

GrahamTribe · 04/07/2012 20:30

"Yabu. "These little kids you dont know" are your "Dear Step Son's" siblings. They should know you and you should know them."

Why on earth would a mother necessarily want her ex's partner to know or have anything to do with her other children when those other DC aren't even related to the ex? Confused

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 04/07/2012 20:31

I'm surprised how many people are saying the dp was out of order to leave the dc with OP.

The poor guy was just trying to take his son to his regular activity and spend some time with him, then circumstances happened, and he expected a little support from his DP.

Does that really make him that bad?

MsOnatopp · 04/07/2012 20:32

While I suppose, technically he should have made sure you were OK to look after the kids before leaving them with you, why you wouldn't be I can't understand. They are only innocent kids.

If my DP wasn't happy with looking after my DS's sibling for only an hour when they needed it I have to admit I would think FAR less of him. If your DP is a good man I think he may have assumed you would be OK with it.

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