Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Really, really rubbish birthday presents...

75 replies

EmmalinaC · 04/07/2012 18:37

Last week was DD's 6th Birthday. My DSIL (DH's DS) sent her some clothes from Oxfam (where she volunteers) which included a faded brown t-shirt (which still had someone else's name on in biro in the label) and a plain white t-shirt, with a small stain on the front.

DD does a lovely line gratitude but she was utterly perplexed by why her auntie had sent her someone else's old clothes.

AIBU in thinking this is the most rubbish present ever?!

We haven't sent a thankyou note which DSIL will think is outrageous

Notes: DSIL is not skint (quite the opposite) and she has DDs of her own (and last Christmas asked us to buy them Sylvanian feckin' Families) so it's not as if she doesn't understand what little girls like... But the other thing is that she's a really kind person. I am frankly baffled by the whole thing.

Oh and I couldn't care less about stuff being second hand - my DPs gave DD a fabulous dressing-up outfit they'd found in a charity shop and she was chuffed to bits with it!

My DMIL thinks we should write to her and tell her we're upset [hmmm] but I can't help thinking this might be rather inflammatory!

So. AIBU? And WWYD?!

OP posts:

TheSpokenNerd · 04/07/2012 20:29

Send a note which says

"Dear Auntie...thank you so much for the
brown T Shit."

And hope she notices the spelling mistake.

Journey · 04/07/2012 20:30

I'd return the clothes to your sil with a note saying enclosed are some clothes for Oxfam. Sorry they aren't in as good a condition as I would like but hope Oxfam won't mind.

picnicbasketcase · 04/07/2012 20:36

SpokenNerd

My ILs buy loads of gifts from charity shops, all completely random items, put it all into their 'gift cupboard' and then try to figure out who to give each thing to. I dislike this as it doesn't involve any thought for what any particular person might like. Maybe your SIL has the same method for gift buying.

Mrsjay · 04/07/2012 20:38

SIl bought us 1 year a jacket for me a size 18 ( i am not an 18) and it was vile she also bought clothes for kids that were to small and a pc game that was about 5 years out of date , think DH got a golf game for the playstation , that was the last year we sent presents and just sent vouchers and even then she didnt return presents,

YANBU to be upset

blisterpack · 04/07/2012 20:40

Send a really over the top thank you note saying how thrilled you were with the fantastic present and DD wouldn't let go of it all day and wore it to bed etc. She'll be as as you are then. And she can't really say anything either cos that'd be admitting that she sent crap for a gift.

EightiesChick · 04/07/2012 20:46

But that'll just encourage her to do it again!

If you usually send thank you notes I would do a minimalist one, just saying: 'Thank you for the clothes for my birthday'. I would also ask your SIL, next time you see her, 'Was a bit surprised by you getting DD those clothes for her birthday' and see where it takes you. Don't put it in writing as there's no change to backtrack or go with the flow or her reply then.

picnicbasketcase · 04/07/2012 20:47

Or:

Dear SIL
As we all know, children can be somewhat clumsy and can spill things on their clothing. So imagine our delight when we saw that you had sent DD clothes for her birthday that were already stained! This will be a huge time saver and we can't thank you enough.

PS We were particularly pleased with the shirt with another child's name in it as now DD can pretend to be someone else, which will really help develop her imaginative play.

smoggii · 04/07/2012 20:52

I'm happy to buy second hand for me and my DD for items throughout the year but never as a gift how odd.

Still send a thank you card, she cared enough to send something.

SoleSource · 04/07/2012 21:34

Just send the thank you card, recycle them to give back to her with extra stains :)

corygal · 04/07/2012 21:48

yanbu. Of course you're not being unreasonable.

But to stay reasonable you still get to send the letter (thanks for thinking of me, hastily change subject) then bin the junk as a reward.

Thing is, ingratitude is worse than meanness/barminess to most people, innit,

corygal · 04/07/2012 21:50

Oh, and think of all the cash you'll save on never spending more than a pound on her ever again.

Noqontrol · 04/07/2012 21:52

spokennerd you just made me spit my gin and tonic out. That's so funny

MulberryMoon · 04/07/2012 22:02

I was about to ask what is the matter with her and suggest you send similar to her for her birthday, but then saw in the next post that she also sent two dresses, one possibly new, which is not so bad.

lovetomoan · 04/07/2012 22:09

YANBU

I am not a wealthy person, but I would rather buy a bar of chocolate as a present than giving those 'gifts' to a little girl.

ReindeerBollocks · 04/07/2012 22:10

My mum buys the most bizarre presents for birthdays/christmas. I have mastered the art of the smile and nod.

If she was trying to be nice with her intentions then just use the above approach. If there are other issues it may be worth mentioning that DD noticed she had other people's clothes.

poorbuthappy · 04/07/2012 22:16

Bollocks to this.
Dear SIL
Thanks ever so much for dd's birthday pressies.
Although quite how it is acceptable for you to buy her shit when we have to fork out on new toys for your kids escapes me.

Cheers.

Sometimes people just need telling.

lovebunny · 04/07/2012 23:11

'dear auntie
thank you for my birthday present.
i am using my chemistry set to analyse the content of the stain on the white (ish) t shirt.
i have already found a chemical which dissolves biro - thank you so much for sending me a specimen. i have as yet been unable to restore the correct colouring to the brown t shirt, but when i do, i will send you a photograph.
i am always pleased to receive your gifts - they set such interesting challenges for my active mind.
your affectionate neice (and future forensic scientist)
...."

5Foot5 · 04/07/2012 23:25

Odd. I remember when I was a young teenager one of my aunts bought me a nightie that was a size 20. I was barely size 10 at the time!. I just thought"oh well" but I remember my mum being quite offended at how little thought must have gone in to the gft.

iklboo · 04/07/2012 23:32

FIL & his wife got me a bottle of WKD-a-like from Aldi. For my 40th. All of £1.99. And I do not, and never have, drunk WKD or any of its 'tribute' brands

ddubsgirl · 04/07/2012 23:34

my pil are abit like this twins 3rd xmas just over 3 years old they got demin shirts & trackie bottoms :/ the tops were awful and didnt go with anything and was about 18 months later before the bottoms fitted! yet dn got loads of toys.
2 xmas ago they got my a wine set thing with a glass,i dont drink wine and last xmas they got me & dh matching watches that fell apart as soon as we took them out of the box.
clothes mil always buys wrong sizes so kids have stopped asking for clothes lol

ImperialBlether · 05/07/2012 00:05

Dear SIL

Oh it doesn't seem a minute since your DD's birthday, does it? Do you remember the Sylvanian Family whatsits that you asked me to buy her? I remember thinking £x was a lot to spend on plastic, but I know she liked it.

And here we are on DD's birthday, only X months later. Doesn't time fly? I'm not sure why you sent her stained second hand clothing. I always dress her nicely - did you really think she would wear them?

What would your daughter like for her next birthday?

OP
x

sesameflower · 05/07/2012 01:38

I think spoken nerd has the best suggestion.

T shit is perfect.

I think you should get her kids big boxes of cheap chocolate in the future. Toblerone (from poundland) makes kids extra hyper as its chocolate with added sugar.

Frontpaw · 05/07/2012 08:10

A 'friend' gave me one pair of knickers (size 16) from a 5-pair set (it says on the label). I was size 8 back then!

ZillionChocolate · 05/07/2012 08:33

I think perhaps a photo of dd engaged in some sort of messy play while wearing one of the t shirts. Maybe get paint, glue and glitter all over it?

Presumably if she'd just sent the dresses that would have been ok?

How did it come about that you were told what to buy her dd? I would look for equality for next year. Either buy what you want, or give her a helpful suggestion. Perhaps say at the time "it's useful to know what your dd would like, I'll be sure to return the favour".

Frontpaw · 05/07/2012 08:45

I'd get DD to send them back to Oxfam.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread