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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DD's teacher should not make her swap uniform with another child?

100 replies

allmouthnotrousers · 04/07/2012 16:10

DD (9) went to another local school this afternoon to take part in some kind of maths challenge (am hazy on details as the school only told me yesterday afternoon Hmm). I sent her off this morning dressed as she is every day - logoed school polo neck t-shirt, grey uniform trousers, and red cardigan. The cardigan isn't logoed as they cost stupid money - DD has a knitting granny who makes her one every year in the right shade of red.

When I picked her up, she had no cardigan. I asked where it was and it turned out she had been made to swap with another child and wear their logoed one instead, and other child had fallen over whilst wearing hers and got it muddy so the teacher had sent it home with them to wash and return.

DD is allergic to a lot of washing powders so I chased after other child, got cardigan back to wash myself, and it has a hole and several long pulled threads from where the other child fell over, as well as being properly sodden and very muddy.

I approached her teacher and said that I'd prefer it if DD could be allowed to remain in her own uniform, and she shrugged and said DD needed a logoed cardigan for trips. Well that's news to me, and she was one of only 4 children who went to the other school, which only has 30 pupils anyway so hardly going to get swept up in a maelstrom of other kids Hmm

OP posts:
sashh · 05/07/2012 03:37

Would you have preferred her not to go to the other school? Or if she had left her cardi at the other school?

What is the other school's uniform? If it's red then taking logoed items make sense as there is no dispute over which school it belongs to.

futureunknown · 05/07/2012 03:58

The school should have told you the day before.

They should have a bag of second hand uniform from previous students.

Then none of this would have happened.

Surely all primary schools have a uniform cupboard for when students have accidents/get dirty

LilBlondePessimist · 05/07/2012 04:11

Can some people not read? The OP has said that (a) the school policy does not specify logoed cardigans as essential uniform, (b) the girl was not on a 'team' (c) the girl was not 'representing' her school, she was visiting a partner school where no parents or mops would be present, and (d) she would not need to be easily identifiable amongst a maelstrom of children as there wouldn't be that many present, and anyway, as a partner school have the SAME uniform. Aside from the fact that it is questionable whether any uniform, logoed or not, can even be enforced by a primary school. It was totally wrong of the school to make your daughter swap cardigans with another child OP, and you were perfectly within your rights to be furious! Hope it mends ok :)

futureunknown · 05/07/2012 04:16

But they are not allowed to specify logoed cardigans. It doesn't mean they don't want everyone matching and looking smart. Perhaps the teachers have some pride in their school and want them looking top notch in front of the competition partner school.

LilBlondePessimist · 05/07/2012 04:20

As the OP does too, which is why she dresses her immaculately in logoed polo, and matching shade of red cardi. Don't have to be logoed to be smart.

diddl · 05/07/2012 08:06

Perhaps polo shirts should be logoed on the collar so that it can still be seen with a cardi/jumper on.

Dancergirl · 05/07/2012 09:29

Oh for God's sake, all this fuss over a cardigan!

If you send your child to a particular school, then you agree to their uniform policy. Yes, logo-ed items do cost more than standard M and S/Sainsbury's/Tescos ones but they only need ONE logo-ed one! If you genuinely can't afford it, fair enough there are always second-hand uniform sales but just to refuse to buy one on principle is silly. I don't know the legal implications if a school can 'enforce' it or not but they certainly encourage the logo-ed items and quite rightly. They look smart and all the children look more or less the same. As for other countries not having uniform at all, personally I think no uniform would be a nightmare in the mornings working out what to wear.

Work WITH the school, make sure your dc has the right uniform and save the complaining for the bigger issues.

Chandon · 05/07/2012 09:33

yabu to think the rules don't apply to you (logo's cardigan), yet be incredibly fussy about who is now washing the cardi, and how. Just wash it again when it comes back.

yabu

Original poster
allmouthnotrousers · 05/07/2012 09:51

Er... the logoed cardigan is not in the flipping rules Hmm

And I'm fussy about who washes it as DD gets a rash from most washing powders.

As I said before Smile

OP posts:
Downnotout · 05/07/2012 10:57

Actually I would not want DDs uniform leant out to someone else without my permission if it was the other way round either. Our uniform policy is very strict and the items are expensive.

Also dD has had severe allergic reactions to clothes. School asked her to try on a new sports top once and it set her off. They now know that she is not allowed to wear or even touch anything that is new and i am allowed to keep kits for teams at home, whist everyone else's is kept in school to be handed out as needed.

YANBU.

Original poster
allmouthnotrousers · 05/07/2012 11:10

Well having rechecked, I can report that the schools 'uniform policy' is just a list of clothing and correct colours (ie grey trousers/skirt,navy polo neck, etc) followed by 'Uniform with the new logo is available from xxxxx.com'

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 05/07/2012 11:36

Exotic are you feeling ok? You seem to be getting in a right state over this!

Fine thank you! Grin
Just get fed up with all the fuss about a cardigan-when you take a few children to another school you want them properly dressed to represent the school. The message that I would get as a teacher is 'don't pick OP's DC-not worth the hassle about a simple cardigan.

PenisVanLesbian · 05/07/2012 11:52

What you aren't getting, exotic, is that she WAS properly dressed to represent the school. Which, actually, she wasn't even doing. You might want to read what OP says before going off on one about it.

ljny · 05/07/2012 13:22

All this fuss about a flippin cardigan...

Quite right. Are we educating children or raising sheep?

Aren't schools embarrassed to be represented by lock-step, dressed-alike little robots. Don't they want to encourage students to be individuals who know how to think for themselves?

I'd give a prize to the kid who turns up in a home-knit cardie. But that's just me.

exoticfruits · 05/07/2012 16:11

Whatever it was it was a colossal fuss about wearing someone else's cardigan for a short while.

Original poster
allmouthnotrousers · 05/07/2012 16:22

Gosh, you're good at missing the point Smile

OP posts:
PenisVanLesbian · 05/07/2012 16:51

Exotic, do you think maybe it was less about wearing someone elses cardigan and more about their own getting ripped an muddy while on someone else?
You'd be just delighted if another child didthat to your childs uniform, would you?

Why do people bother commenting when they haven't read or understood the thread?

manicinsomniac · 05/07/2012 16:55

YANBU at all, children are both careless and accident prone and should definitely not have been asked to swap clothes.

My 9 year old's uniform costs an absolute fortune (logoed blazer/winter games polo/summer sports polo/sports top/sports skirt and shirt/skirt/jumper/summer dress/cardigan/cycling shorts/games socks/swimsuit that HAVE to come from John Lewis Hmm. Because of the cost there is
a) a huge second hand uniform shop open twice a week and
b) ABSOLUTELY NO BORROWING of any clothing or equipment by anyone except siblings.

I would be cross in your position too.

steppemum · 05/07/2012 17:03

YANBU
I do not think the teacher should have given OP cardi to another child. I would not have been happy, even if it had come back clean.

If the school needed logoed cardis for the event they should have asked parents. It is then up to them to borrow/buy. (or else lend one from lost property which is what our school sometimes does)

I have to say, really can't understand why it mattered, she was in a red cardi, and it wasn't a performance or anything

but main point, can't lend your uniform to another child - not on.

LaVolcan · 05/07/2012 18:19

I knit, and I would be a bit narked if a lovingly knitted jumper was damaged by another child. It also puts the other parent in an embarassing position - her own child would otherwise have damaged her own clothing. It would be one thing if your children had decided to do the swap, but it was the teacher's bright idea. Yes, I know, it's the teacher's job to teach but surely she could have rustled something up out of lost property if it was so important, or at least bothered to tell you beforehand?

YANBU

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 05/07/2012 18:24

I agree with exotic. What a lot of fuss about an accident. Cardigan could have got ripped anytime.

LaVolcan · 05/07/2012 18:36

Yes, it could have got ripped at any time, but if it's your own child your response is more likely to be - "never mind, you're OK, it's only a cardy, Granny will knit you another one"- or, "it's about time you learnt to be a bit more careful, Granny's worked hard at that, the least you could do is try to look after it", depending on what sort of child you have. So OP is now forced to send her child in, in a damaged cardigan. Perhaps the teacher would offer to darn the hole for her?

I used to work in a primary school with very much the same sort of uniform rules and in a similar situation we provided all the kids with matching t-shirts (which they could buy for a nominal sum if they wanted - otherwise it went back into the stash of odd clothes kept for accidents etc.)

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 05/07/2012 18:37

Honestly - my response would be - never mind, it's only a cardie, I'm sure they didn't do it on purpose.

bogeyface · 05/07/2012 18:45

BUt Jamie it need not have happened at all.

The OP was told no special items were needed, it is not in the school uniform rules that cardigans ,must be logoed and therefore the swap was not needed, by THEIR OWN RULES.

That they chose to do it anyway is wrong, but for that to lead to a perfectly good item of clothing being ruined is unacceptable and I would be asking for a full explaination and reimbursement.

bogeyface · 05/07/2012 18:46

Oh and if you have ever hand knitted a cardigan I am sure that "oh never mind" would not have been in your list of things to say....