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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DD's teacher should not make her swap uniform with another child?

100 replies

allmouthnotrousers · 04/07/2012 16:10

DD (9) went to another local school this afternoon to take part in some kind of maths challenge (am hazy on details as the school only told me yesterday afternoon Hmm). I sent her off this morning dressed as she is every day - logoed school polo neck t-shirt, grey uniform trousers, and red cardigan. The cardigan isn't logoed as they cost stupid money - DD has a knitting granny who makes her one every year in the right shade of red.

When I picked her up, she had no cardigan. I asked where it was and it turned out she had been made to swap with another child and wear their logoed one instead, and other child had fallen over whilst wearing hers and got it muddy so the teacher had sent it home with them to wash and return.

DD is allergic to a lot of washing powders so I chased after other child, got cardigan back to wash myself, and it has a hole and several long pulled threads from where the other child fell over, as well as being properly sodden and very muddy.

I approached her teacher and said that I'd prefer it if DD could be allowed to remain in her own uniform, and she shrugged and said DD needed a logoed cardigan for trips. Well that's news to me, and she was one of only 4 children who went to the other school, which only has 30 pupils anyway so hardly going to get swept up in a maelstrom of other kids Hmm

OP posts:
fengirl1 · 04/07/2012 18:19

Uniform in primary schools is not compulsory and maybe the school needs to be reminded of that fact before they start getting all hoity-tooth about logos.....

Original poster
allmouthnotrousers · 04/07/2012 18:20

Oh fgs. The cardigan is perfectly suited to being worn for school, DD (who is not a particularly careful child) has been wearing them for nearly 4 years without incident. The hole isn't the end of the world, it can be fixed and washed and will look fine.

Its just the principle of the thing, which is that DD's clothes are provided by me for her to wear. Yes, she could have damaged it herself in similar circumstances. But had she damaged the other child's £20 logoed one, I then would have been expected to replace it which is totally unfair.

If the school have an issue with any of DD's uniform, I'd like them to say to me, which they never have done. Lots of the children don't wear the logoed stuff, the school know it not enforceable and that its expensive so parents often just have one or two bits of it.

OP posts:
maxybrown · 04/07/2012 18:25

actually primary can't enforce uniform at all, only encourage - logo or not. I won't be getting DS logo jumpers - £9 each! I have just ordered 4 sweatshirts and a pack of socks from M&S for £13.60. he had M&S sweatshirts last year for nursery and they've lasted all year. To buy him 4 with the logo on would have cost £36, plus £6 each for the polo with logo on Hmm - he shall be in plain white polo tops and plain sweatshirts!

At a school I worked at we always kept spare uniform for class pics (for example) if a child was in a batman jumper or something like that - but then that school had plain sweatshirts anyway not logo'd ones. we would never have swapped children's belongings around

maxybrown · 04/07/2012 18:27

£20 for a jumper? Shock and I thought £9 compared to M&S £3 with 20% off was shocking Grin

maxybrown · 04/07/2012 18:28

cross posts with fengirl Smile

WerthersUnOriginal · 04/07/2012 19:00

The school need to be stricter and clearer about wearing logo school uniform.

pointythings · 04/07/2012 19:16

Oh yes Werther because ripping off parents for excessively priced logo'd goods is such ethical behaviour which will teach children the value of money morals and all that.

It's parents who support the great uniform rip-off that is so rife in this country who make life so bloody expensive for the rest of us. A school cardigan does not need to cost £20. Someone is making pots of money off this scam. Parents are ripped off. I wish I could say I can't believe that people think this is ok, but clearly they do because schools are still allowed to get away with it.

Sorry for the hijack OP, YANBU - the school is in the wrong here.

Pandemoniaa · 04/07/2012 19:24

It always amazes me that we still have this obsession with expensive school uniforms in the state system and especially the primary sector. Uniforms don't "make all children equal" and the only people to benefit appear to be the uniform suppliers. They manage without uniforms in most countries in Europe and the USA.

The OP is absolutely NOT being unreasonable, here. Uniform in primary schools is not compulsory and parents should not feel morally blackmailed into buying expensive items that they cannot enforce the wearing of.

exoticfruits · 04/07/2012 19:27

I think that people are missing the point! This was a one off where she was representing the school and so they all needed the logo. The sensible thing is never to pick her for anything again if there is that amount of fuss!

exoticfruits · 04/07/2012 19:28

No one asked her to buy it-they just gave her one to wear for a short time! Had she been picked for netball she couldn't have done her own thing-this is no different!

seatfor5 · 04/07/2012 19:33

YANBU in my Ds school they let yr 4 kids borrow yr3's PR kits including shoes!! I only found this out when my DS's whole PE kit has gone missing! I have since told DS if someone asks you say you dont have yours or thats not your shoe size!

EdithWeston · 04/07/2012 19:35

Uniform can be compulsory in primary schools (one of the admissions experts who seems to know everything about law and regulations governing schools linked it to another thread where the 'cannot enforce' myth appeared).

I think the school was in the wrong here. An item damaged by another child is bound to annoy a parent and sod's law means it's bound to happen. If variant uniforms are permitted, as seems to be the case here, but the school wants identical uniform; then I think using a small stash of 'representational' is the most sensible option.

exoticfruits · 04/07/2012 19:39

This was a TEAM-do people not understand teams?!

exoticfruits · 04/07/2012 19:40

Next time you see a school team on TV look to see what they are wearing-correct uniform and if they don't have it they will have been lent it for the occasion.

exoticfruits · 04/07/2012 19:42

Perhaps she could have had a card in front saying 'I am from X school' if you think this is better. Hmm

exoticfruits · 04/07/2012 19:42

Or is everyone supposed to be psychic and know which school she is representing?

ravenAK · 04/07/2012 19:51

She'd be in a group of other kids wearing red cardigans. It'd be pretty obvious I'd've thought.

YANBU OP.

If school want kids in logo-ed gear (which is something they cannot legally enforce), then they need to a) set up a second hand sale every term & b) keep a stash for such occasions.

My school managed to do both 30 odd years ago, it isn't rocket science!

EdithWeston · 04/07/2012 20:02

Yes, primary schools can enforce compliance with uniform see this thread, in particular the links to DofE, and the comments by panelmember and prh47bridge.

But this isn't really the point here. The school has flexible uniform, but wanted the children identical for an event. Swopping between children seems a bad idea to me. For example, what would have happened about replacing a logo'ed one had Op's DD lost it at the event? Teachers surely have many more things they would rather be doing, rather than unscrambling something like that. Much better for the school to have a stash to kit out pupils when necessary - it needn't even cost anything (unclaimed lost property, or ask parents for donations of outgrown or leavers' items).

ravenAK · 04/07/2012 20:12

'A head teacher, or a person authorised by the head teacher, may ask a pupil to go home briefly to remedy a breach of the school?s rules on appearance or uniform. When making this decision schools need to consider the child?s age and vulnerability, the ease and time it will take, and the availability of the child?s parents. This is not an exclusion but an authorised absence.'

Good luck with that one, then. It's hardly going to be practical for a primary school to turf out one of its pupils to wander off home to an empty house in order to change into an item of clothing it doesn't possess. (I teach in secondary & we do it all the time to surly teenagers, but that's different entirely).

Really, the point here is that the school could've contacted the OP & asked her if her dd could wear a logo-ed cardi for this event - she's already said she could have arranged to borrow one. Having failed to do so, & if they didn't have one to lend her, well, school's oversight.

& they sky would hardly have fallen if she'd worn her nice handknit - she had on a logo-ed shirt.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 04/07/2012 20:22

They shouldn't have made her swop with another child, if they wanted her to wear a logo cardi (which imo is perfectly reasonable) then they should have provided one. There was probably one going spare in the lost property box.

BUT, i cant help but feel yab a little U. I was the child at school that had to wear a knitted by Granny hat when everyone else was wearing the one from John Lewis. I was much younger than your dd, and I hated it! The hat was fine, I just didn't want to be different, but I could never say anything because even as a 5/6yo I knew I didn't want to hurt my Granny's feelings when she had lovingly knitted a hat for me.

My Granny used to knit some awesome stuff before the arthritis in her hands got too bad. Now I miss my Granny hats!

Original poster
allmouthnotrousers · 04/07/2012 20:30

She would've gone in a borrowed logoed cardigan if they'd asked but they specifically said yesterday that she didn't need to take anything special and seeing as there are only 30 odd children in her whole school I think they know who has the 'wrong' cardigan.

And as for snarky comments about her never getting picked again - it was actually a G&T extension afternoon so she wasn't 'representing the school', she was just doing some maths challenge work with the G&T children from the other school (one of the resources the two school share). I didn't want to say that in the OP so was deliberately vague for fear of being torn to shreds for mentioning it, but it wasn't a case of 'being picked' or 'representing'.

DD genuinely doesn't mind the handknitted cardigan btw. Really. My kids are not backwards about coming forwards when they hate something Hmm so I'd know if she wasn't happy to wear it Smile

OP posts:
maxybrown · 04/07/2012 22:27

I know the thread wasn't exactly about this but Where does it mention those rules are for primary? I work in primary education and we've always been told can't be enforced only encouraged.

maxybrown · 04/07/2012 22:30

My gripe is all this blooming logo stuff, the quality is worse (in our case) and 3 times the price. My son looks smart and clean and in the exact right colours, just no logo - as is what the OP was getting at

paradisechick · 04/07/2012 22:39

Exotic are you feeling ok? You seem to be getting in a right state over this!

lovebunny · 04/07/2012 23:02

disgraceful. your child should not have to share clothes.

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