Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To refuse to teach this woman next week?

54 replies

Terminal2 · 04/07/2012 16:01

I work at a riding school (have namechanged to avoid outing said school) and this morning was asked to give a private lesson to a 33 year old woman. Naturally as she is a beginner I chose her a quiet, calm yard horse, naturally a bit slow and sedate but more importantly, safe.

So she gets on the horse and immediately asks me "will I be cantering today?" I said "no, that is for when you become more advanced" and she replied "fucking hell" . So ignoring what I assumed to be a slip of the tongue I asked her to walk the horse around the school. She did this well and seemed pretty confident. All was ok until I asked her to trot - she kicked the horse and he didn't budge (as I said, he's slow!) and so I suggested she use her voice as well as her legs. Well, she immediately sprang into a tirade of insults - "Go on you bastard! fucking move you dopey c*nt, come on come on!! for fucking hells sake, fat bastard thing move your fat arse!! etc etc" all the time kicking softly so he could barely feel it. At one point I became paranoid that I was on some kind of hidden camera comedy show it was surreal. I told her to calm down and she replied that she was calm but "soppy bollocks here needs a rocket up his arse".

Anyway the lesson continued, she dismounted and to talk to her she seemed fine! well dressed, nice car (judgemental I know but to afford a car like that either she holds down a good job or her husband does at least!) so I just don't understand the outbursts.

AIBU to refuse to teach her next week despite the fact that she's asked specifically for me? she makes me uncomfortable.

OP posts:

mollymole · 04/07/2012 16:02

i would not let her through the yard gate ever again

DanyTargaryen · 04/07/2012 16:03

Ditto what Mollymole said.

Original poster

Terminal2 · 04/07/2012 16:03

Just to add though, apart from the insults she was nice to the horses, brought treats in, stroked them, was gentle with them - it was just the language.

OP posts:

pinkpyjamas · 04/07/2012 16:04

Urgh, she sounds vile.
I don't blame you for wanting to refuse to have anything to do with her.
Is there someone else who can teach her instead - or someone who can clarify to her that if she can't control her tongue, she can trot off somewhere else?

CheeseandPickledOnion · 04/07/2012 16:07

Not very nice at all, but if she was otherwise well behaved and treated the horses well, could someone not have a word and just tell her that her language is not appreciated and not appropriate, and that if she continues to swear and speak about the horses like that you will have to ask her not to return?

Pandemoniaa · 04/07/2012 16:07

I'd probably agree to teach her again but I would pull her up at the first sign of any fucking and blinding. Neither you, nor the horse will appreciate it.

kittyandthefontanelles · 04/07/2012 16:07

Affluent people swear too? You need to tell her such language is unacceptable during class time and give her another chance. I'm afraid you can't refuse to teach after one incident.

sesameflower · 04/07/2012 16:07

Just tell her swearing is not appropriate and wont be tolerated.

Original poster

Terminal2 · 04/07/2012 16:08

It was so strange though because she just didn't seem like the kind of person to speak like that. Even after the lesson she stroked the horse she'd been riding on and said "thank you darling, you're a beautiful twat you are"

OP posts:

manicbmc · 04/07/2012 16:09

Poor bugger. She was nice to the horses and was fine in all other respects. Could you not just have a gentle word with her about the swearing if it bothers you so much?

worldgonecrazy · 04/07/2012 16:12

Tell her that the horse is offended by her language and that's why he's being a "dopey arse".

sugarice · 04/07/2012 16:12

It's not as if it was a blip and she swore badly just the once but a tirade of dopey c**t , fat bastard and soppy bollocks would make me uneasy about her return.

keepcalmandeatcupcakes · 04/07/2012 16:13

Refuse! I work with horses full time, and have seen people act like this time and time again. Not worth it, unless of course you want to go with the suggestion of having strong words with her before hand. Sadly though, if she thinks she can canter after a first lesson, can't see much changing!

Inertia · 04/07/2012 16:13

I think you should report the matter to the riding school manager, and ask for her / his support . They should make the call to this customer to explain that the language used is unacceptable (assuming it isn't a medical issue? )

bringbacksideburns · 04/07/2012 16:16

Just ask her to tone the language down as you find it a bit offensive.

Just because she swears like a trooper doesn't mean she is a vile human being.

If she continues to swear address it at the time. She wasn't being horrible generally.

Really fail to see the significance of the car she was driving.

diddl · 04/07/2012 16:19

Perhaps she was saying to the horse what she´d like to say to her husband.

ThePathanKhansWitch · 04/07/2012 16:19

Just a thought, do you think she may have Tourettes?

Sounds really bizarre behaviour.

GrahamTribe · 04/07/2012 16:20

I'd have no concern about the language but would make my decision based on how I felt she'd respond to the horse if and when things continue not to go her way. If she's just going to cuss and curse that'd be fine by me, not my problem but if I thought that for one moment she'd take her frustrations out on the horse I wouldn't have her back through the gates.

ATM you don't appear to have any concerns about her treatment of him - do you feel that her odd behaviour might be expressed in other ways as her lessons progress?

TheCrackFox · 04/07/2012 16:21

I thought that too Diddl.

Viviennemary · 04/07/2012 16:21

It's a difficult one. At first I thought absolutely no way teach her again. But she was quite nice. And the horse won't understand swear words I don't suppose. But there again, on re-reading your post, I think she should find another riding school. She sounds too much like hard work. Still if you're brave just say, 'not in front of the horses dear'. Oops sorry!

TheVermiciousKnid · 04/07/2012 16:23

Sounds like she might be a MumsNetter.

AmberLeaf · 04/07/2012 16:23

Is this a joke?

Do you think only poor people who wear cheap clothing and drive old bangers swear?

She does sound OTT with the swearing but I'm sure the horse won't mind

Shutupanddrive · 04/07/2012 16:32

I wouldn't refuse to teach her (I'm a riding instructor) but I would have told her during the first lesson to stop swearing, and if she carried on I would have told her to get off the horse and leave. You definately need to say something before teaching her again! What a nightmare

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 04/07/2012 16:52

'well dressed, nice car (judgemental I know but to afford a car like that either she holds down a good job or her husband does at least!) so I just don't understand the outbursts.'

YABU just for saying that. Would you have 'understood' if she'd got the bus to the yard and was wearing a scruffy tracksuit?

slowestwildebeast · 04/07/2012 17:05

ha ha ha! sorry, you are hilarious. 'you're a beautiful twat you are'.

Amazing!

Flip

1 2 3