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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours - help

43 replies

ProfCoxWouldGetIt · 02/07/2012 15:55

My neighbours moved in almost a year ago (dad and 3 DC's ranging from about 8 to 13) and there is a long list of things they do that wind me up and DP keeps telling me that I need to just keep out of it.

When they first moved in we had 3 months of him working on the house, drilling and hammering - all fine, people need to settle in, but at 10 fucking PM at night, and the dad doesn't work at all, we eventually moved DD to another room as it kept waking her up.

The son (he's about 13) seems to like having a natural piss, inother wirds in the garden against our wire fence which is only 3ft high

They often leave plates covered in food outside on the grass outside the kitchen door, no idea why - maybe they are feeding the local foxes/badgers? But the local rats love it!

The girls I feel sorry for, expecially the youngest(aged 8), she seems to have no friends and whenever DD (almost 3) and I are in the garden she comes out and stands at the fence, if I ignore her she calls DD over, and then loudly makes comments about how DD wants her to come over to play. Which in itself I wouldn't mind, but they tell DD to do things I have told her not to do, things that would typically result in toys being broken (which they have already done to DD's trampoline)

The final straw for me is the state of their garden, they haven't mowen the lawn once since they moved in, so not only does it look like a mess (full of nettles, bramble and goose grass) and is encrouching on my garden, but obviously the kids have no where to play.

Do I need to have a word with myself and stop being a wound up byu this, or would I be in my right mind to jump the fence and mow the lawn for them?

OP posts:
Treblesallround · 02/07/2012 15:59

I don't really see how your neighbour is affecting your enjoyment of your home (except the rats!) Maybe just have a word about the rats if your sue you've seen them and chill with the rest of it, we're all different

ProfCoxWouldGetIt · 02/07/2012 16:26

I like my garden and spend a lot of time working on it, but not all the beds that are on their side of the fence are getting over run by the nettles and bramble, I seem to spend any time I get in the garden clearing up the boundary with their garden.

I also dislike the fact that I can't just enjoy the garden and play with DD without their kids hanging over the fence, making me feel like an devil cow for not inviting them over.

And finally everytime I look out my back windows or spend time in my garden all I can see is their overgrown mess and I find it really disheartening, I feel bad inviting other neighbours over because the first thing they do is comment on the state of my neighbours garden.

And yes - the rats are definitely there, stupid cat caught one recently - and I saw him grab it from the food covered plate that had been left outside for 4 days

OP posts:
ProfCoxWouldGetIt · 02/07/2012 16:27

*now all the beds, sorry not "not"

OP posts:
TheSpokenNerd · 02/07/2012 16:30

You don't know the 8 year old hs no friends...she has maybe not had many playdates but she could be the most popular kid in the shcool for all you know! Either way...iff a boy that age pissed on my fence, I would be getting one of those sensor ones that shock you! Little shit. He'd probably get a bucket of water over him actually.

TheSpokenNerd · 02/07/2012 16:30

You need 7 foot fences by the sound of it.

redlac · 02/07/2012 16:32

Can you put up a new 6ft closed edge fence so can't see them?

lacroixsweetie · 02/07/2012 16:35

redlac has the right idea. If it is bugging you that much (and it would me) and you don't want the confrontation chat then install a nice hefty fence.
Oh, and report the rat situation to the council. I'm sure that they can serve them with an order to stop leaving food out.

ProfCoxWouldGetIt · 02/07/2012 16:35

Would love a 7 foot fence, then they could do what they want and I wouldn't care, but no way DP would ever even consider it.

The noise is bad enough (but that's another AIBU thread)

The 8 year old has commented she has no friends, and I broke up a fight where she was being picked on by a group of other kids from her school at the local park.

OP posts:
DuelingFanjo · 02/07/2012 16:35

yeah, big fence. sorted.

DuelingFanjo · 02/07/2012 16:35

Why is DH so against it?
Go to B&Q and do it yourself.

ProfCoxWouldGetIt · 02/07/2012 16:37

DH says I need to live and let live and that putting up a fence would cause neighbourly issues and doesn't want the confrontation.

OP posts:
AnyoneForTennis · 02/07/2012 16:38

Are they renting?

goingtoofast · 02/07/2012 16:38

It sounds like a high fence wouls make your life much better. Ask your DH to reconsider.

I like my neighbours but would not like a wire fence!

Paiviaso · 02/07/2012 16:38

A fence is very obviously the solution, how can DP be against a fence?

goingtoofast · 02/07/2012 16:40

I really don't think it woud cause issues, many people would be incomforable in thier garden if they could see the neighbours.

TouTou · 02/07/2012 16:42

OK, so no fence. How about an enormous row of hedges?

ProfCoxWouldGetIt · 02/07/2012 16:45

They're council tenents.

The fence that we share is "their" fence so that is why DP is worried it would cause offence.

OP posts:
ProfCoxWouldGetIt · 02/07/2012 16:46

Hedges sound good - any recommendations for something thick and fast growing?

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TheSpokenNerd · 02/07/2012 16:47

DP needs to get over it! Their DS pisses on your property! Who gives if they are offended!?

TouTou · 02/07/2012 16:48

Blush leilandii? I know they're seen as devils work, but they are fast growing, but not so fast as to give offense like a fence might (iyswim)

Treblesallround · 02/07/2012 16:48

How about trellis with climbing plants? You could just put in a few at a time so he doesn't even realise you're screening him off, and you could act all innocent with DP if he questions it

Treblesallround · 02/07/2012 16:49

And have a word about the rats and the pissing!

EldritchCleavage · 02/07/2012 16:49

Start with a talk about rats (having rats is really not funny, speaking as someone who had the rat man on speed dial) and the peeing. Both distinct issues it is reasonable to raise.
If that goes badly, or results in no action, have one more go then resort to a fence knowing you've tried your best.

But please try to be charitable. Being a lonely, possibly bullied 8 year old in a chaotic house must be utterly miserable.

AnyoneForTennis · 02/07/2012 16:50

Well ring the council! complain about the rats and mess

goingtoofast · 02/07/2012 16:50

Phone thier housing officer, they may assess the situation and agree to put up a fence for the sake of your privacy. Wouldn't cost you anything and the housing officer wouldn't tell your neighbours you called.