I have a 5 year old and a 12 week old. I have a sister with a 7 year old and a 9 year old. I also have another sister and my mum, we all live within a 10 minute drive of each other.
I'm on maternity leave, this is the first summer holidays I'll have had with my son when I've not been working so I fully understand how tricky the holidays are to juggle regarding childcare. When speaking to my mum a couple of weeks ago she offered to take the baby now and again so I could have some time with my son doing things that the baby might not be able to come along to so easily (ie swimming, cinema).
My sister works, 4 days a week. She isn't with her children's dad anymore and he is unreliable at best. She does have a partner she's been with for 6 years now but they don't live together. She is only taking one week of the summer holidays of. Her partner doesn't help out with childcare and she won't ask her ex as, her words, 'I don't want him to think I need him'. Trouble is she needs someone! So in steps my mum, again. My sister has only booked her children into 1 week of holiday club leaving the other 5 (as she's off 1) to my mum. She has managed to cut her days down to 3 but that's still 3 days a week my mum is going to have them. That'll include some sleepovers.
So I'm sat thinking, maybe a little selfishly, what about me? And more importantly, what about DS? She very, very rarely takes him overnight in compariosn to how often she takes my sisters kids. Since the baby arrived my son has had one sleepover at my mums. My sisters kids have had at least 6. I feel like my son is missing out on this time with my mum. My sisters ex MIL (the 'other granny') isn't involved or interested so I feel my mum is trying to compensate for this. My son has his 'other granny' who is very hands on and he spends a lot of time there. It's not about me wanting free time but it just feels the balance is long.
When we were leaving my mums yesterday she said to my son 'we'll get some sleepovers over the holiday' but I'm sat thinking 'when?' She's going to be so busy with the other 2 I don't want to add to that. I think it's too much for her although I'm sure she would say no.
It just annoys me that my sister doesn't look to her partner, her ex, her friends etc to share the load. I'm to nice, I hardly ever ask my mum to take my son and never have because she always seems to be doing so much for my sisters 2. I know I'm luck to have my partner and in laws support which my sister doesn't but I just feel my son's (and I'm guessing in time, the baby's) relationship with my mum isn't equal in comparison to my sisters.
So, I am being unreasonable aren't I?