To leave passive aggressive comments aimed at MIL on my Facebook?

[D0oinMeCleanin]

It's childish, yes, but I feel it's reasonable.

She pulled that face when I told her about my college course. When I asked DH why she pulled that face (if she has anything to say about me it's always to him and he never defends me) he told me that she cannot understand why I want to work with dogs when I never walk mine and I don't feed them properly.

So now I am pissed off. Very pissed off.

Every spare second I have is spent with those dogs. Bar the children, which goes without saying really, they are the only thing I have my life that I derive any pleasure from. I have spent hours every week lately training with the terrier, not to mention the £65 I shelled out to pay for his obedience course.

The cat no longer lives upstairs, he's happily living back in all of the house safe in the knowledge that the terrier no longer views him as food. This is not by magic, it is by training both the dog and the cat.

So now I am leaving status' on my Facebook documenting every dog walk we go on and every meal they're given. With sarcastic comments about how neglected my poor hounds are.

It is unreasonable isn't it? I know this. I also know it shouldn't bother me. I know my dogs are well cared for I shouldn't care what other people think but for some reason I do. I really care. It really bothers me that anyone could believe I would anything less than my best for them.

NB: MIL is not my FB but SIL is and while she never comments on any of posts, she does for some reason seem to report each one of them back to MIL

But you are basing it on something that was told to you by someone else.

How do you know it wasnt your husband that was being passive aggressive.

YABU to use FB in this manner - you are not a child.

Talk to your MIL if you have a problem.

Why not just speak to her and tell her that a) she is mistaken in her belief that you dont care for your dogs b) its none of her business what course you do and c) if she has anything to say about you in future can she please say it to your face and not via your DH.

Then tell your DH that it is his job to stick up for you if she does start, and not worry about upsetting mummy.

I cant stand passive aggresive crap, and if you do start this then you will be just as bad as her.

they sound like arseholes I dont have the staying power to be sarcastic on fb I get bored but I think in this case do it , dogs were walked at 8 am dogs are now alseep dogs are now eating dog has farted will soon get the message home, your MIl seems to be unsupportive of you is she like this with everything,

YABU.
You're giving this woman far too much power over you.
If she's unkind and bitchy to you, why are you trying to prove yourself to her?
Live your life however you see fit.
Passive aggression is silly.
If you have a problem with MIL, tell her - or ignore her.
Her nasty comments can't harm you if you don't care about her opinions - and why should you, she sounds awful.

Because she pulled the face so clearly something was bothering her about the college course I chose. DH didn't come running to tell me what she said. He just answered me when I asked why she pulled the face.

When he makes things up or exaggerates about what are people are saying behind my back he trips over himself to tell me all about it and it is never a specific person always the mythical 'everyone' who says it.

Although she probably believes that they're not walked because that he is what he believes (you are at work during the day you stupid little man, how in the hell would you know if they're walked or not besides the fact that they do not eat the house)

Ah, so he does have form for making things up and exaggerating then. It definately sounds more of an issue that is emanating from him and not her.

You say the dogs are your life second to your kids, so where does he fit into your life?

Honestly, ignore her. The best way to "punish" her is to not let her comments get to you. As long as you are responding, she is winning.

Just post about how much you are enjoying / looking forward to your course, and post about your life however you want to.

And tell your DH to man up - if his mother believes you don't walk the dogs, and says so to him, he is perfectly capable of pulling faces back at her and telling her she's talking nonsense. She can't keep on "believing" something if he contradicts it every time she mentions it, can she? (If she can, then ignore even more...)

Why is he letting her say this crap, and then reporting it back to you? It sounds like he's the one being passive aggressive and using this asa way of criticising you.

Why do you care??

I genuinely don't get this sort of shit.

If she pulls a face and you do happen to care, ask her yourself why she's pulling it instead of involving your DH.

As for the FB stuff, it's the most childish thing I've heard.

Toughen up and stop giving a shiny shite about what anyone thinks of your choices...it's your life.

He fits in right at the bottom of Squeaky, after the children, my dogs, my sisters (although my sisters probably come higher up my list of priorities than the dogs), my mum, my cat, my family's dogs, my sister's cat and then DH right down there somwhere. T'is the natural order

Childish.

Your problem seems to be your DH.

Dont sink to level or alienate your actual friends. Its probably all very upsetting to you but sounds very petty and won't do you favours. Leave mil to her bitterness.

Oh the problem is definitely DH then, not MIL. Ignore her and decide what to do about him.

Do you want him in your life if he's such a low priority and uses these techniques to get at you? It may be a form of attention-seeking if he feels it's the only way to get you to rise to anything he says or does.

Either give him more positive attention, if you actually care about him, or have a serious think/talk about your relationship if not.

Don't post crappy, boring status updates on FB. Your FB friends will start to think you are a loon and will block your updates or defriend you.

IT seems your DH agrees with her I would just leave it and direct it at him , and go do your course cos tbh who cares what they think .

I don't know why I care Worra. I normally do not give a shit what MIL thinks of me, or anyone else, but for some reason it is really bothering me.

you are questioning your decision I think that is whyit is bothering you do your course you know it is what you want to do

sorry, I know you know this, but YABU!

Über childish

Agree with piprabbit. Your friends on Facebook are going to think you're very boring posting updates like that.

Pffft. I like being childish

Pip my friends already know think I am a loon. T'is too late for that

I become irrationally pissed off when people insinuate that my dogs are treat like anything less than royalty. My Dad and myself have regular arguments -silly, jokey ones- over whose dogs are best cared for (it's mine, btw. His are a close second but only because of the extra care and training they're given by me )

whenever you get The Face, look concerned and ask her if she's got toothache/constipation/piles. Ohhh, mil, your face! Are you in pain? Can I get you an asprin?"

Dooin, your DP is an arse, so it stands to reason his mother will be one too - she made him the man he is today just ignore the old cow

YANBU. You will be unreasonable if you don't tell the bloody woman to fuck the fuck off.

Hecate, I love your suggestion.

I can confirm that it works wonders.

If your dh has told her you never walk your dogs and don't look after them properly of course she is going to think it odd you doing such a course. Facebook does seem to create all sort of playgroundish behaviour judging by threads on mumsnet.

Your problem seems to be with your dh not your mil.