..to think this ex-friend has crossed a line?

[SomeAngelsAreMeantToBeFallen]

For a couple of years I was close friends with a work colleague. We fell out last year and haven't spoken since. There is no way we will ever be friends again.

We have both been bitchy, saying bad things about one another, and I am not proud of it.
But I have found out over the weekend that she has told multiple people a massive secret of mine, something that has the potential to ruin my family.
Yes I have said nasty things about her, and I know it was bad but AIBU to think she has compleatly crossed a line?

And WWUD?

Buttering iPod! Don't bitch about other people. Grow up and act like an adult ffs.

Buggering iPod!

LOL @Buttering Ipad!

Under usual circumstances, I would say that you should keep a friend's secrets to the grave, whether you've fallen out or not. I had a similar thing happen to me a few years ago, my confidences were betrayed badly by someone I really trusted and it taught me a lesson.

However - for you to do what you did about the work thing... is actually no better. I'm kind of the opinion that you get what you give now. Sorry.

What age are you both? You sound ridiculously juvenile.
I get you are upset but really you have no one to blame but yourself. By participating in the bitching and writing anonymous letters instead of behaving in a professional grown up manner you have allowed this escalate out of control.
You should have refused to talk about her, been calm and polite to and about her and left it at that. In relation to the break you should have spoken or mailed her saying you were being forced to cover. You were unable to do this and if she didn't stop or start working late to compensate then you would be left with no choice but to discuss with superiors.
Incidently why wasn't she asked to work late to make up for this physio? Surely that is the norm? Did your work not look for a note to cover it? I thought you needed to produce a new note every couple of months for continuous treatment.

YANBU I know you have fallen out but really somethings you never tell especially when it could potentionally harm you and your family. It happened to me and a colleague at work too, we were best friends then fell out over something rather trivial but never in a million years would I ever dish the secrets I know as it would hurt a lot of people and it was told to me in confidence. I think she has crossed the line.

I think you should just let it go and hopefully no one will believe her xx

But, Bridge - the OP betrayed a confidence that could have lost her ex-friend her job.... she didn't have to, but she did it to cause trouble for her, imo. So surely this 'secret' that the ex-friend has told is no different?

WWYD? With regard to ex-friend. Do not repeat her business. Do not talk about her, and if questioned about your relationship, just say, it's sad how it's ended-up. Nothing more.

Concentrate on the effect on those who are being protected will feel/react if they get to hear the truth, and assess the risk that this will happen. Hard to comment further without details, which I would advise if you want advice on you name change and post on a different thread to this.

SerendipitousHarlot - To be honest I hadn't read that part when I wrote my reply. I was posting to the OP

However if my work colleague was taking a 2 hour break for 18 months while I was consistently late for picking up my Dc then I probably would have done the same thing. That is a complete piss taking in my book. The minute the friendship was on shaky ground the woman should of stopped taking the time off as she knew it had the potential to come out.