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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In having 4 DCs, and still using buggy for DD....

69 replies

Inthepotty · 02/07/2012 08:33

Have just dropped older DCs off at school.

DD (3yrs, just!) had massive tantrum this morning as she wanted to go on her scooter. It's about 2 miles to school, few busy roads, and piss pouring down. Being the cruel mother I am, I stuck her in the buggy and set off.

DD was still moaning and flailing by the time we were going in the gates. Horrid viper woman (who has one DS in my DTs class) turned to her friend and said VERY loudly

"People shouldn't have as many children if they can't control them, my DS never carried on like that in his buggy, he was out of his pushchair by the time he was 2, I just carried him if he was tired." Also a very pointed look in my direction.

Now, I'm not really sure what she expects me to do- I'm told you can't actually shove DCs back?! They're not a bad bunch really, DD just being 3 and hard work at the mo. Am now having a wobble that she's too old for her buggy. She does look older than she is, I suppose.

AIBU to spend all day alternating between panicking I should be making her walk, and hoping this horrid cow trips up into a puddle??

OP posts:

fatlazymummy · 02/07/2012 08:42

If you want to use a buggy then use one. You don't need anyone else's permission or approval.

JennyPiccolo · 02/07/2012 08:46

God, I'd live to be so perfect that I could judge everyone else. That's a great example she's setting for her kids.

valiumredhead · 02/07/2012 08:48

Ds used a buggy until he was 3 and a half ish as I didn't drive, more often than not I just hung my shopping on it and he held onto it while he walked.

I would've ignore anyone who had been so rude to me.

I certainly wouldn't justify my decisions to anyone.

Lilicat1013 · 02/07/2012 08:51

What a bitch, I will join you in hoping she falls in a puddle.

It is not unreasonable for a three year old to be in a pushchair and it is really no one else's business.

Mishy1234 · 02/07/2012 08:51

What a horrible woman! Just ignore her. She will get a reputation for being a nasty so and so if she carries on like that (if she hasn't already!).

I don't think using a buggy at 3 is an issue. Just carry on doing what is best for you and try to filter out any comments from nasty cows.

tabulahrasa · 02/07/2012 08:53

How is carrying your toddler morally superior to using a buggy?

Mine were both about 3 and a half when they mostly stopped using them, but for a while after that I'd use one still if they were ill or there was really bad weather or any other reason like that.

Marymaryalittlecontrary · 02/07/2012 08:56

She probably lives just around the corner from the school, and anyway as she only has 1 child she would never have had to take him 2 miles to get older siblings to school. Totally different circumstances. If she has another I bet she uses the buggy over the age of 2 because of having to take a toddler here, there and everywhere to fit in with an older sibling!

lilbreeze · 02/07/2012 08:58

Dd3(aged 2.11) doesn't use a buggy anymore but only because she can ride on the buggy board of Dd3's pram if she's tired. There's no way she could walk 4 miles return trip to school every day like you do especially as I assume you haven't got time to dawdle. Yanbu.

BikeRunSki · 02/07/2012 08:58

At just 3, DS used to tantrum that he couldn't go in buggy. DD was born last autumn when DS was 3.1. I had a P&T tandem buggy to get him to nursery last winter. Reluctant walker, winter weather.... more aggro than I needed with a new baby.

I really don't think 3 is that old for a buggy, especially if you just need to get going. And re: carrying a tired child - obviously she hasn't got any monster size boys!

Belmo · 02/07/2012 08:59

My dd is only 10 months so not at that stage yet, but she weighs 2 stone already - there is no chance I'll be carrying her in 2 years time! What a cow.

eastendywendy · 02/07/2012 09:05

Ds was out of a buggy at 15 months BECAUSE he was an only child and I drove and was a sahm so didn't really have to be anywhere iyswim. Dd is 21 months and will be in the buggy for much longer as I need to get ds to school and pick him up and have much less time and patience these days. Also, dd is a runner and a tantrummer whereas ds just used to walk nicely in whatever direction you told him to - I didn't realise how blessed I was!

Don't let her worry you, just do what is right for you all.

OOAOML · 02/07/2012 09:06

My DS was still using a buggy for the school run at 3 - it meant we could walk down in time, I could store lunchbox etc in the basket, if he was happy to walk on the way back we could do that when time wasn't so pressing. Now I have both of them at school I sometimes wish I still had the buggy to carry all the stuff.

Our walk is about 15 minutes - I'd have struggled to carry him.

AmberNectarine · 02/07/2012 09:11

Oh, what a bitch! I hope you pulled her up on it?

FWIW, I think it's fine to take a child in a buggy for a 4mile round trip! Your child obviously isn't lazy if she wanted to use her scooter. You don't need her approval so don't give her any headspace.

My DS has refused to go in a buggy since about 20mo, which was galling as I had just shelled out a fecking fortune on a double when DD was born a couple of months earlier. He goes everywhere on his bastard scooter, which can make for slow progress. I'd often like to sling him in the buggy and leg it!

simperingsally · 02/07/2012 09:14

DD still uses a buggy and she turned 3 last month.
If it makes your life easier thats all that matters.
Ignore the silly woman.

CoffeeDog · 02/07/2012 09:19

The boys are 3 1/2 if they or me are having a bad day they go into the buggy to walk DD to school (its a five minute walk).

I get a lot of 'looks' sod them - i just can't trust them not to run into the road or just run off in the playground DD teacher is always the last class out and trying to find 2 x little boys in a flock of school kids / mums / dads / teachers is a nightmare.

We cross one road where parents park everywhere and dont look - in 2 years the buggy has been hit 4 times and DD was backed into by a stop in the road and open door throw kids out driving mum.

boys are a little over 16Kg each... If i have to i can carry them both for about 25 steps.. thats it thinks maybe i should do more excercise

holyfishnets · 02/07/2012 09:29

We have long one mile school runs and at 3 my DD used the buggy. She had such an active life and a mile there, a mile back, a mile to collect, a mile to walk home ever day would have been too much

PenelopePipPop · 02/07/2012 09:36

You'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't by the Huffy Tutster brigade. My DD (I only have one - absolutely no comment on how you get 4 around only respect!) was toddling about with the odd carry by 2. But I got people saying 'Oh that is so dangerous, she would be safer in a buggy' or 'She'll get so tired' (yep that was the general idea!).

YANBU to hope she falls in a puddle full of wee.

thebackson12 · 02/07/2012 09:40

How rude,

I'm dreading this kind of approach, I'm soon to have a baby and hyper 3 year old.

Dancergirl · 02/07/2012 09:44

What a horrible woman, I really feel for you.

Don't worry about making her walk, it's horrible when your dc has a tantrum, you've just got to do what makes it easier at the time. So she went in the buggy - big bl*y deal, it's hardly the end of the world. Stupid woman.

Makingmama · 02/07/2012 09:49

What a strange, demented woman!! Ignore, she sounds very unhappy.

Emmielu · 02/07/2012 09:50

It would be soooo great & refreshing if she did fall in a puddle right in front of you. That karma feeling.

On the topic though, you were doing what was easiest & what also was safer for your 3yo & meant your other child could get to school on time. Whats wrong with that?

Sonotkylie · 02/07/2012 09:52

Buggies are a form of legal restraint for situations where you need to know exactly where they are e.g. long walk, rain, strops etc. Yours ticked all the boxes this morning. So correct decision - reward yourself. Re rude women who make silly comments when they don't know or think about what they are saying, its a shame she has such a narrow uninteresting life that she has to pass negative comments on someone who is clearly doing a good job. Pity her and try to practise a pitying look (although with 4 kids you've probably got better things to do - but it may come in handy as they get older). We used a buggy occasionally for DS until he was 4 e.g. travelling (and only partly for luggage carrying) and times we weren't in control of how far we had to go, or where I knew we'd have to really hurry. He was huge in it!! But you know what will work best. And its miles better than all the potential alternatives - late for school, child in road, massive screaming fit (yours or theirs).

DozyDuck · 02/07/2012 09:54

My DS was put of a buggy at 18 months because I hate them. He was a very good baby. I couldn't drive and he'd walk everywhere. He was back in an SN buggy after his regression at 4 because it was no longer safe, easy, or pleasant for him to walk where there was roads or crowds.

She's a horrible woman who doesn't know your situation at all. Ignore

pumpkinsweetie · 02/07/2012 09:54

If you need to use a buggy, it is none of anyone elses business.
If it makes you feel any better my 3yo nearly 4yo sometimes needs to go in the buggy usually after nursery or on long shopping trips (don't drive), i have a p&t as i have a nearly 2 yo aswell so when 3yo is tired i just put her in the spare seat.

We all have bad days and it isn't helped when people have the brass neck to make snidey comments!, i would have told her to mind her own beeswax.
Yanbu

monkeytennismum · 02/07/2012 09:55

Penelope - love the 'Huffy Tutster brigade' definitely going to use that one!

As everyone else has said this sad woman deserves none of your headspace. She's clearly got social skills issues; just be glad you're not mates with her. Whatever makes your life a tiny bit easier is best for all when you've got numerous DCs.

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