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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

breastfeeding at home FF in public?

59 replies

thebackson12 · 01/07/2012 15:42

I'm currently about halfway through my pregnancy,
I did bf for about 4 months with my first baby, when teething started he wouldn't feed so FF from then on, plus their were other issues he didn't poo regularly and as soon as I started him on FF he did. I could never express properly, I never felt like I produced enough he was underweight for a long time.

Another thing is the issue of bfeeding in public/in front of visitors. I admire all you who do but I just couldn't do it , there is that mental block, at a push I could do it in front of my mother. But in front of in laws, friends etc no.
And in public as well, I'm pretty large chested me getting baby #1 was never discreet at home I never attempted in public.

So I was wondering did anyone feed like this , breastfeed at home and ff basically mixed feeding. plus I will also have a toddler so having the possibility of some sleep whilst OH feeds 'young'un is appealing

So AIBU to mix feed for these reasons bad mother feeling or justified??

OP posts:

Ecgwynn · 01/07/2012 15:46

YANBU. If it really bothers you then do what you want.
Happy Mummy= Happy baby.

quoteunquote · 01/07/2012 15:47

I'm so sorry people have made you feel uncomfortable. Nobody should feel intimidated out of breastfeeding.

WorraLiberty · 01/07/2012 15:49

The OP hasn't mentioned intimidation...if anything she just sounds shy and awkward to me.

I agree with Ecgwynn, just do whatever suits you as your baby will be nourished either way.

HolyCameraConfusionBatman · 01/07/2012 15:49

I don't know how practical it would be, but YANBU for wanting to do it. Do whatever makes you most happy/comfortable.

Snowboarder · 01/07/2012 15:52

It's sad that you feel uncomfortable BF but I appreciate that for some people doing it in public is not an option, no matter how relaxed everyone else is about it. Like you say, there's sometimes a 'mental block' there. I couldn't BF in front of my Dad for example, or PILs, I just couldn't - they'd have to leave the room or I'd go somewhere else. I'd happily BF in 'public' though, as long as I could do it discreetly.

Anyway YANBU - do whatever makes you happy and relaxed. You are BF sometimes so your baby is still getting the benefits of breast milk.

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 01/07/2012 15:52

Sounds more faff than it's worth tbh, buit whatever you're happiest with will benefit everyone. A couple of points though. Some people find expressing very hard, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong. Ditto the poos. My ds is breastfed and far from regular. My HV said that there is so little waste in breastmilk that she'd be unconcerned even if he didn't go for a week, as long as he was putting on weight.

Snowboarder · 01/07/2012 15:53

Just to add, keep an eye on your supply through. You might want to try and pump a bit to keep your supply up if you've had a few feeds where you've used formula.

alphabite · 01/07/2012 15:53

My best friend felt like you about breast feeding. She got round it by using nursing bras and by placing a muslin cloth over baby and boob so she could feed while still being discreet.

DontmindifIdo · 01/07/2012 15:54

practically, you might find your milk supply drops, particularly if it's not the same feed you are doing with formula rather than breast milk - however for sleep, DH gave a DS a bottle of formula at 10:30pm each night while I went to bed at 9pm at the latest, meaning I felt like I'd had a decent amount of sleep when DS woke at 3am for a feed.

It might also be worth investing in one of those feeding coverups, the ones that look like a big apron, you're completely covered then, it's good if you are feeling a bit shy/exposed, something like this

WilsonFrickett · 01/07/2012 15:54

Even one BF a day is giving your baby the benefits of BF. What I would say though is I think you have to BF exclusively at the beginning to get BF properly established? But it's all been so long ago I don't really remember

Original poster

thebackson12 · 01/07/2012 15:55

My/my OH family are by and large men I think that affects my decision, BF in front of a room full of men etc is beyond the pale (to me personally)

only my mother/grandmother bf in both of our entire families.

If my family was largely women it would possibly be different.

OP posts:

diddl · 01/07/2012 15:59

Could you ask visitors to go into another room whilst you feed?

Would you need to feed often when out & about?

I don´t remember having to tbh.

Feeding in front of others or whilst out & about didn´t bother me, but I preferred to be comfortable at home.

Combining the two sounds a faff to me as an advantage of bfeeding is obviously not having to sterilise bottles & make up feeds.

Original poster

thebackson12 · 01/07/2012 16:01

all your points are very valid, I need a good think.

OP posts:

WilsonFrickett · 01/07/2012 16:12

Google 'feeding tops' as well OP and you can get an idea of the kind of things that are around to help you feel covered up.

lovebunny · 01/07/2012 16:13

it can be done, and succesfully. go for it.

nancerama · 01/07/2012 16:22

Practice feeding in front of a full length mirror so that you can see exactly what others see. You'll probably be surprised at how little flesh is shown and how well the babies head covers a lot of you up.

When you look down at your feeding baby, you see a lot more, so you feel a lot more exposed than you actually are.

You might like to seek out local breastfeeding support groups. I used to go to one once a week for the first 4 months or so of DS's life. I got used to feeding with other feeding mums (safety in numbers and all that) and before long I stopped caring where I fed. The 16 week mark is tricky though - they get so much more wriggly and nosy. By 18 or 20 weeks, they seem to get their focus back!

Hownoobrooncoo · 01/07/2012 16:31

Mix feeding might affect your milk supply. Can't you go into feeding rooms when out and about or find a really quiet corner.

pigletmania · 01/07/2012 17:00

Its up to you. If its the odd day out it might be fine, ut if you go out often and there are big gaps in the day when your not bf it could affect your supply

MigGril · 01/07/2012 17:09

Id also say do what you find happy with.

But know that introducing formula will effect your supply. Some women can happy mix feed others can't although that could be partly to do with which feeds you switch.
There are lots of ways to feed discreetly as others have said.
Pumping is no indication of supply. I can't pump much but i'm sure i could happy feed twins.
Lack of poo after 6 weeks is total normal in breasted babys. Dd would some times go a hole week without pooling, but did lots when she finally did go.
Formula fed babys should poo everyday as there is more waste.
Some babys are small and are meant to be that way. Plus if you really do need to increase milk intake there are lots of things you can do with breastfeeding before resorting to formula. They recently changed the feeding charts in the red book to breasted babys only as formula babys put on more weight. This isn't actually a good thing.

localcrackpot · 02/07/2012 03:33

Nothing wrong with mixed feeding (bf and ff).
When dd was born I was rushed to theatre for some hours so DH and the MWs had to ff DD (how's that for acronyms?) I bf her but struggled at first. I found out later this was probably due to massive blood loss, despite transfusions. Anyway, on day 3 we resorted to giving her a little formula when I was in too much pain to keep trying to bf. I kept bfing as much as possible to raise my supply but ff when I couldn't take any more. (Had a hellishly painful, analgesic-free delivery and 2nd degree tear so I had new expectations about pain and wasn't being soft!) This let me off the hook, although I felt awful about it. I kept bfing. Now dd is 7mo and 80% bf, 17% solids, 3% formula, I'd say. If she's ill she likes ff because she doesn't have to work so hard for the milk. If there's no bf available, she'll ff, which is handy for babysitting or dad's care. I am just starting to learn to express by hand as pumps have never been a full success, but I'm improving! Look on YouTube for "how to express" - I found a good demonstration.

Don't beat yourself up. Mostly bf with a little flexibility for your sanity is, I believe, actually the best of both worlds!

localcrackpot · 02/07/2012 03:36

Meant to add, dd has always been wholly committed to bfing so I've had it easy in some respects. Although the midwives did say they'd never seen a baby with such strength in her jaw, and come up to stroke me and wince ony behalf when she latched on! So I didn't have any issues with nipple confusion from dd.

localcrackpot · 02/07/2012 03:36

*on my, not ony

kittyandthefontanelles · 02/07/2012 03:50

If you mix-feed early on then you will have to be very careful not to let your milk supply dwindle. I would get some proper advice from a breastfeeding support nurse on how to manage it but I was advised not to introduce teets until feeding was fully established. As it happens I haven't needed to introduce teets at all but I've been very lucky.

Don't forget, your 2nd baby may react to breastfeeding very differently to your first.

Mothercare and IKEA have discrete feeding rooms.

Oats oats oats!! Boosts your milk supply. There are other Things too, milkweed, fenugreek...

I don't have a problem with feeding in public but as others have said I also haven't needed to terribly often. Outside the house I mean. If male relations make you uncomfortable you could take yourself off to the nursery to feed of ask them to leave.

Good luck, do what is best for you and your baby but try not to give in before you have started. I think the world should bend to suit a breastfeeding mum not the other way around!

GimmieChocolate · 02/07/2012 06:14

I can com

What about expressing rather then formula seeing as you do want to breast feed?

GimmieChocolate · 02/07/2012 06:20

Bloody phone...

Completely understand the feeding in public or infront of family. I didn't feed my DD in public till she was 1 month old and I was out with a friend who could shield me/help drape muslin for me. I found a tip saying layer 2 vest tops, bottom one pulls down and top one up and then get baby in right position before fully pulling down nursing bra flap. You aren't exposing any skin and no one can see anything. I did this and just draped muslin over my shoulder to cover any bit of boob seen from the side.

As for family I'll do it

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