breastfeeding at home FF in public?

[thebackson12]

I'm currently about halfway through my pregnancy,
I did bf for about 4 months with my first baby, when teething started he wouldn't feed so FF from then on, plus their were other issues he didn't poo regularly and as soon as I started him on FF he did. I could never express properly, I never felt like I produced enough he was underweight for a long time.

Another thing is the issue of bfeeding in public/in front of visitors. I admire all you who do but I just couldn't do it , there is that mental block, at a push I could do it in front of my mother. But in front of in laws, friends etc no.
And in public as well, I'm pretty large chested me getting baby #1 was never discreet at home I never attempted in public.

So I was wondering did anyone feed like this , breastfeed at home and ff basically mixed feeding. plus I will also have a toddler so having the possibility of some sleep whilst OH feeds 'young'un is appealing

So AIBU to mix feed for these reasons bad mother feeling or justified??

I felt very shy at first, but couldn't face the hassleof formula. I wore a Cardie that falls across my boobs to cover the side view, draped a muslin over DS's head and tried not to worry too much. John Lewis have a good nursing room near us which I used on my first outing.

A for visitors, those I didn't want to see me feed,I just went off upstairs too feed whilst DH kept entertaining. Or shooed them out if it was easier that way.

I agree with the suggestion to layer up. A wide scarf is also good, although it's only in the last couple of weeks I've got my technique down. (DD is 8 weeks.)

I'm not happy about bf in front of ILs either, so I usually get DH to take them into another room or slink off to the nursery. I'm not comfortable in front of male friends either really, but that situation hasn't really come up yet. I guess I'll either get over myself or make my excuses and leave, but I couldn't tell you right now which way it'll go!

As for expressing, perhaps if you do it from the beginning (you can always freeze the milk), with a good pump (I have the Madela swing, which I've found great), it may even work better this time... Perhaps try in the morning when the supply is highest? If not, you have formula as a back-up, but don't necessarily write it off because it wasn't successful last time.

Good luck with everything and congratulations on your pregnancy.

Just feed the baby. Surely as long as it gets adequate, suitable nutrition, nothing else matters?
Other people will no doubt delight in offering you the benefit of their wisdom regarding every aspect of your child's upbringing. Give yourself a break.

thanks for all advice I couldn't express first time round , well not alot,

so hopefully this time.

oats! didn't know that thanks.

My friend tried to mix feed for the same reasons you are thinking of doing it, but she started too early and it affected her milk supply to the point that she had to stop bfing altogether at 6 weeks. She was quite upset about it because she didn't realise it would take her longer than that to get her supply established.

Its a great idea in theory, but personally I would advise substituting only one feed from a few weeks just so that the baby gets used to the bottle, but then pumping every time the baby is given a bottle. That way someone else gets to feed the baby and after the newborn days you do have a bit more freedom. It doesn't take that long to establish a good milk supply, I think if you believe in the benefits of bfing, a couple of months isn't a long time out of your life to dedicate to it, and then when you are confident you have enough milk, then you can introduce another bottle for when you go out.

DS1 was mix-fed due to insurmountable problems with BFing.

DS2 was EBF to 11 weeks when we had to introduce formula top-ups due to a late-diagnosed tongue-tie and we never quite got off the top-ups.

I have to say that with a second child to worry about, the EBF period was, when it was working, the easiest by far.

It is entirely up to you and no-one should criticise you for your decision, but if it is simply a case of feeling awkward and shy, it would be a shame if worry abou other people's reactions made you do something that might actually make life harder and possibly cause BFing to come to an end much earlier than you would like.

I am large-breasted and the most discreet BFing I can manage is in a wrap sling. I feed him in the upright, facing-in position and the only way anyone can see if I am feeding is if they are very tall and looking straight down! I was once buying something in a pharmacy and the pharmacist asked me if I was BFing. The answer was "Yes. I'm doing it right now." She hadn't noticed.

When he was tiny I could feed him lying down in either a woven or stretchy wrap but upright is easier and more discreet.

Re: the pooing - that is entirely normal for BF babies.

You should do whatever works best for you both, and absolutely don't feel guilty about it!
However, YABU for wanting daily poos! Weekly pooing was the best thing about an ebf baby, I thought!
I have never managed to express more than half an ounce in ten months. My dd is enormous though so there is plenty of milk there! Some people are just crap at expressing.

Hi OP just wanted to say i was like you with DD1 never went out i was so nervous, with DD2 it's been so different i BF everywhere and apart from one old man telling me it was nice to see things done proper no one has said a word, and i struggle to be discrete, i'm a 34j, if i am having a nervous day i use a muslin and peg it to my shoulder and just lightly cover the baby.

but in the end do whats best for you, mixed feeding worked great for DD1 :)

Please don't, please let your baby guide you. You'll probably get no choice.

DD1 wouldn't be exclusively BF, sulked about mixed feeding and demanded bottles.

DD2 wouldn't take a bootle, ever.

Seriously you'll find BF in public is ok with practice, it is not easy with fussy new born. That's what feeding rooms, cars and the cafe full of other BFing mums are for.
(DD1 got fed in fast food car parks several times because she fussed so).

It really is worth it. Bottles are a real faf. Never having to worry about having to sterilise stuff, heat stuff etc is an absolute liberation.

Being able to instantly silence a crying baby is also bliss.

thanks for all replies I think getting a few layered tops is a good idea,

I'll give exclusive bf a try first.

I am actually quite worried what my mum will say if I don't exclusive bf, shes not nasty but very pro bf.

and everyone else are very pro ff so I'm like in the middle.

Def get this

I found it so so much easier than draped muslins as you can still see your baby and I felt completely confident feeding everywhere as I was totally covered. I found black really good for not drawing attention, and it was also quite useful as a sunshade over the pram. I also liked the fact that it made me free to wear a lot more of my clothes. The one top up one down thing is great but it did make me restricted to about 3 outfits!

I have never had any negative reaction to BF from people if that is any help? You read all the scare stories about women ordered off the bus, out of cafes etc but I think they are used as wind ups to fuel the BF vs FF thing. he media make out these are common occurences whereas thousands of babies must actually be fed with no drama. Not saying everyone will share my experience but that is what it was like for me. Agree about oats. Porridge + syrup = Dolly Parton chest!

Could you bf in your bedroom when friends/ in laws are visiting? I did this with ds, it was a great excuse to disappear for a while and get some rest away from all the visitors. Then you return to the living room once feed/rest is over and feel much more refreshed :)

When out, the feeding shawls that others have recommended are great, plus I used to use the feeding rooms at Mothercare and John Lewis to get a bit more privacy, especially when ds was tiny.

Good luck with whatever you decide :)

Do you intend to use a routine at all for breast feeding? You will need to for formula anyway to make sure you've got bottles steralised and milk cooling for the right length of time. If you are say, having a feed at 2:30 and then at 5:30pm, you could arrange visitors to arrive at 3pm and tell them you'll need to disappear upstairs to feed at 5:30pm, that would be a good way to get rid of anyone who's got 'issues' with bfing.

yeah I think I will generally have a routine.

I live in a flat so it wont be the same as going upstairs and away,

my biggest fear is my toddler barging in and leaving the door wide open

I perhaps invest in a lock so I won't be as nervous.

Just say "DC needs feeding now, back in a bit" and walk off. Is it possible to have a "nursing chair" (old armchair/Ikea chair is fine) which is behind/back to the door?

That way you get some quiet snuggling time, and your guests get a chance to play with your toddler for a bit.

Just make sure you have a cloth/scarf so you can drap round if your toddler opens the door. plan visits to avoid feed times, practice picking up DC and walking when feeding to kick door shut.

All good advice , I have a chair and a nursing cushion.

I still think I'll get a lock just to be safe , I'd literally become hysterical if that happened .

I'd keep an open mind about it all. Things might be very different this time around. It's great that your Mum is supportive. Can you talk to her openly about how you feel so that she can be of help to you? How about your partner?

It's actually quite rare to find yourself needing to feed in public and there being no where discreet to go.

In the end though, do what suits you and your family.

I kind of did this
ds used to faff around so much, that i was just too self conscious to do it in public
i expressed, and he got used to the bottle quick, and didn't seem to have a preference for either milk
It actually wasn't that often that he had formula, we weren't out and about that much when he was tiny

I do now wish that I had perservered a bit more. Just because it turns out it was my last chance

Just to ask - how do you have a routine if you're BF? BF is usually done on demand (and works best that way as supply is driven by baby's demand)

That was for dontmindifIdo - DS is 11wo BF and there's no pattern to his feeds.

I never fed in a room full of family, I pootled off to a quiet room and fed there. After a few months babies get really distracted anyway if you are in a room full of people so going somewhere quite is easier. I also used a nursing cover when I was going to be somewhere like a park, or on a train, partly because of the distraction thing, partly as I am a big cup size and found it hard to feed without getting everything out. (which is fine,I like seeing other women who aren't bothered, but it made me feel self-conscious). I also just got on with it.I have a massive family history of allergies and auto-immune disease, and I was very very committed to bf. I really didn't want to bottle feed, so I had to get used to not caring if I flashed someone by accident. No-one ever seemed bothered anyway, and I fed my dd on trains still when she was at least 2.
btw, I have never been able to express, and other than when I had a blocked duct, it never mattered.

I agree that even if you are OK feeding in front of others-I got used to it & fed in front of ILs-it´s still nice to be alone & feed in peace & quiet.