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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think if you're offered a lift, the driver gets to decide when you leave?

34 replies

Chulita · 01/07/2012 12:56

My parents have offered my brother and sil a lift to a wedding (4 hours' drive away). They discovered after offering that my brother is invited to the reception whereas they're only invited to the wedding ceremony. Dad has said that they'll be leaving after the ceremony so if brother/sil would still like a lift, they'll miss the reception, otherwise they could drive themselves down. My brother's making a fuss cos he expects them to wait around til the reception's finished so they can get a lift back with them. He reckons if you make an offer you should stick to it regardless, I thought that if you're accepting a favour you take what you're given.
He thinks that all his friends would be more than happy to wait around and if the boot were on the other foot he'd apparently be happy to wait for a few hours. He's so adamant that my parents are being unreasonable that I'm now wondering whether I'm just a selfish cow.I wouldn't want to potter around a city for hours waiting for my liftees to finish partying so I could go home, but aibu?

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 01/07/2012 12:58

He's beinbg unreasonable

takingiteasy · 01/07/2012 12:58

Your brother is being unreasonable but I've never ever heard of someone being invited to the service only. Evening only, yes but never day only!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 01/07/2012 12:59

Your brother is unreasonable.

Pontouf · 01/07/2012 12:59

He's being a selfish twat. Your parents should absolutely stick to their guns and offer the lift only at the time that they will be leaving. Surely there are other transport options - could they get the train or something?

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 01/07/2012 13:00

Your Brother is being a selfish prat. NO WAY should your mum and dad have to wait around for hours just to give them a lift home. Hope they get told to fuck off! (Your DB and SIL).

fivegomadindorset · 01/07/2012 13:00

He is.

Passmethecrisps · 01/07/2012 13:02

What is it with brothers? He is being really rude - what are your parents supposed to do while he gets wined and dined? Your parents didn't have the facts when they offered him a lift. Now they do and it is no longer sensible - any dafty should see that.

EdithWeston · 01/07/2012 13:04

Your brother's being a prat. It's far too long to expect someone to hang a round for you, and a pretty clear cut set of circumstances.

Original poster
Chulita · 01/07/2012 13:04

Ok, I knew thought he was but he has a way of sticking to his opinions so strongly that as ridiculous as it may be you end up questioning yourself. The boy has skills.
My parents are invited to the preachy/ring swapping bit and then tea/biscuits in the church afterwards. My parents won't wait around for them, they're well used to his funny ways and I only know about it because he's coming to stay for a few days before the wedding so I'll get a fair few "how ridiculous that they don't feel like pottering about for a few hours so I can have a few drinks" comments.

OP posts:
Original poster
Chulita · 01/07/2012 13:06

It was his "all my friends would wait around for us" comment that led me to start this thread. Trust mn to reset my WhatALoadOfBollocks alarm.

OP posts:
SecretPlansAndCleverTricks · 01/07/2012 13:06

HIBU.

and I wouldn't be going to a wedding where I only got invited to the church part.

Had an invite like that years ago, church only, not invited to the reception or evening bit, they said I couldn't bring anyone with me, It was 2 hour drive away... umm, drive 2 hours, go to church on my own, drive 2 hours home again, maybe stopping at the service sation for a ginsters pasty or a scotch egg... thanks but no thanks.

fireice · 01/07/2012 13:07

Your brother is being unreasonable and selfish.

HecateHarshPants · 01/07/2012 13:08

yes, your brother is being selfish and unreasonable. I am glad you say your parents won't give in to him.

Makes a refreshing change from most threads on this sort of thing, where someone is lying on the floor with 'welcome' stamped across their forehead Grin

Original poster
Chulita · 01/07/2012 13:08

I think that, why would I want to go just for the boring bit? And miss the canapes?

OP posts:
claudedebussy · 01/07/2012 13:08

your brother's a bit entitled isn't he?

and i very very much doubt that his friends would wait around for him, if they're anything like he is!!

HecateHarshPants · 01/07/2012 13:09

oh, and the very important question. Hand on heart - would he do it for them?

I'm guessing not, tbh.

claudedebussy · 01/07/2012 13:09

and i also think it's awful that your parents have only been invited to the church and not the reception. i'd never dream of doing this. Shock

Passmethecrisps · 01/07/2012 13:11

It seems an odd invite to me considering anyone can rock up to the church anyway - you don't need an invite.

I can't quite get over that your brother think he is in the right. Get him on here!

HerRoyalNotness · 01/07/2012 13:12

Your parents are going to drive 4hrs to sit in a musty church for 30mins and will be offered a cup of tea before they make the trek home? And you brother wants them to hang about into the night to then drive him 4hrs back?

They could find much more enjoyable ways to pass a day

AuntLucyInPeru · 01/07/2012 13:12

Ummm, for christian people who are getting married in a church I assume they don't consider the service as the 'boring bit'. However, Ido agree it's odd (at the v least) to ask guests to drive 4 hours each way to see you, and not offer them some hospitality afterwards. And your brother IBU.

letseatgrandma · 01/07/2012 13:13

Sorry, but your brother is being incredibly rude and selfish! They need to tell him to drive or get a taxi!

Is he usually like this?

Original poster
Chulita · 01/07/2012 13:15

auntLucy I'm a Christian but I still consider the service as the boring bit compared to the bit afterwards (assuming you know people otherwise the reception is most definitely the boring bit).

Good to know that so far it's unanimous, I might have to show him this thread when he turns up (although it might make him a bit grumpy).

OP posts:
Original poster
Chulita · 01/07/2012 13:17

And yes, he's the youngest and has often been given what he wants, if not by my parents then by one of us older ones. Entitled is a very good way to describe his attitude!

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PomBearWithAnOFRS · 01/07/2012 13:19

Is your brother devious enough to have wangled the invite for your parents just so they can give him and his wife a lift? It seems odd that parents would be specifically only invited to the church...

Original poster
Chulita · 01/07/2012 13:24

It's not that unusual in the church we're all from (although this is a different church the groom is from our church). The ceremony is open to everyone and there's almost always a light something to eat afterwards, then the reception is invite only. The only reason my parents would have received an invite is because they've moved away and it's in a different city but the groom's parents are good friends with my parents iyswim. I wouldn't go personally but my mum will grab any chance to catch up with old friends.

OP posts: