to hate when people call their ex 'sperm donor'

[biddysmama]

anyone else? its horrible, my dd has never met her biological father because he gave me the choice of him or the baby and i chose the baby...but i wouldnt call him sperm donor

Lurking what a horrible time of it you've had I hope you've managed to find some happiness in your life after the upbringing you've had.

I don't feel bitter to be honest. I don't really give a shit whether he knows anything about her. I'm not even sure that he knows her name or what gender she is.

I am fucking angry that he gets to walk away and not a pay a single fucking penny towards her upkeep whilst muggins here has to shell out to feed her designer shoe addiction but otoh in return I get the priveledge (and it is a priveledge) to watch her grow into the charming, caring, clever and polite young lady she is becoming. He's missed all of that and no amount of money would ever change that. I pity him for that.

I am a very happy person, please don't pity me anyone.

Thank you for your empathy though!

You sound like an amazing, strong woman Lurking.

You should be proud of yourself.

@ Graham. A Mother can abandon her biological offspring too.

I think a lot of people probably have good reason to be bitter. And to call their ex partners sperm doners. Or a lot worse.

YABU.
What do you care what people call their scummy exes?
FYI, I never called my BioTwat anything as he'd fucked off before I could talk.

No pity here Lurking - just a hell of a lot of admiration. I have had very shit times in my life too (none as shit as yours I might add) and don't tolerate pity very well either.

Good on you - you sound a very strong woman.

I personally feel that woman have a right to call the cunts who have left them in the lurch any fucking thing they want. The harsher the better tbh.

I tend to think of DD1's "real dad" (he has never deserved that title) as her 'genetic contributor'. Sperm donor sounds like I asked him to donate his precious fluid...

What ReallyTired said.

A sperm donor is an altruistic person giving a generous gift. So IMO it's not a suitable phrase to use as an insult.

so op what do you suggest these male who fuck off leaving a small baby

yes dh (insert PC term here) did give him the only thing in life his sperm.

Fuckers.

That's all they do. Fuck you then fuck off.

Lurking just gets on with her inner strength and courage.
Full of admiration for you, as he didn't win as you didn't let him.

but why is it an insult. without a sperm donation DH would not be here

Wow..Thank you Sole

Sorry for derailing the thread, not my intention! My point was it takes more than biology to make a parent. My cousin has two adopted sons. Abandoned by each of their biological parents for very cruel reasons. THEY are the boys parents. The biological parents deserve no title other than sperm donor and oven.

(I DO NOT feel this way about all people who give up a child for adoption. It can be a very selfless act. These people, however do not fall into that category.)

It's not particularly thoughtful towards those who are only here due to the generosity of a donor. Why not just use the term "ex" or "biological father" instead?

If you'd been born with the altruistic help of a sperm donor or a surrogate, how would you feel about "sperm donor" or "oven" being used as a derogatory term to describe someone who'd left their family?

'Why not just use the term "ex" or "biological father" instead?' I have lots of exes. Not all of them had a part in creating my child. He is no way a father of any kind. DH is her father and has been since she was 6 months old.

To dd1 I call him by his name (we rarely discuss him) and he was described as the 'man who helped to make you'. The term father was never used. He does not deserve that title.

To anyone else he doesn't have a title. I never talk about him except on threads like this. What reason is there to? He's not in our life and I have no inclination to invite him to be in our lives. Dd1 has a father. It's not him.

Lurking I hope you have a wonderful life, full of everything you could ever wish for.

I'm not usually a soft twat btw.

My child also has a 'donor'. A pathetic, lying fuckwit who doesn't deserve the title daddy.

D0oinMeCleanin I take your points, fair enough. Still think it's sad if people choose "sperm donor" as their derogatory term though. Hopefully there will be a few more suggestions!

No, I suppose sperm donor is not nice for those who donate to couples with fertility problems. Tbh it's never a term I use, as I said we don't really talk about him, so he doesn't have a term. DH occassionally calls him "that wanker you used to shag" and to dd1 he is just X a man who helped to make her because we didn't know daddy when she was made and it was just me and her for a while.

I completely understand why others use the term and would never judge anyone for it.