To have walked out of friend's house?

[Flyingwithoutwings]

Just been to one of my best friend's house. It's her daughter's birthday.
Gave daughter present & card. Her DH offered to make a cuppa, which I said yes to...
Meanwhile my DH, 3 year old DS and I were sat in the garden. Friend came out, talked about her parents (becoming hard work due to age / illness). My DH commented on her t shirt, didn't say anything bad - its a Pineapple Dance top and he was talking about "that Louis prat", trying to recall his surname.
Friend gets all defensive (very common) and snaps "doesn't make me an idiot", DH replies, I didn't mean you, I meant that Louis bloke".
She said "that's the 2nd thing you've said". DH looks confused.
She then said "F* blah blah" (can't recall the context, it wasn't F off, more F sake.
As my 3 year old was stood next to her I said "Language"!
She said "he couldn't hear"
Erm... He's stood beside you, he may not pay attention but he would have heard!
She said "I can say what I like its my house". She storms off!
I looked at DH and said that we should leave. So we did. Didn't see friend, said bye to her daughter and bye (sorry for not drinking the tea) to her DH.
She was nowhere to be seen as we walked through.

She's my DS's Godmother. So am I unreasonable to have asked her to mind her language and was I unreasonable to have just left.
I accept that it's her home and, really, she can do anything in it. But I also think that you should behave nicely in front of children / guests in your own home.

Are you all 12?

Oh, relevance of her parents: they'd just left so, in her defence, I think she's a bit stressed from their visit.
But I still don't think using the F word in front of a toddler to be appropriate.

A bit older than 12

Er, that didn't start this afternoon. This has been brewing for a while.

NBU to leave, and Louis is a Pratt!

Nothing brewing, she is a stormy bugger but I've always loved her dearly (still do)
I wonder if she's been drinking...

If not 12, suffering heat exhaustion?

all seems a bit of something over nothing TBH, certainly not enough to flounce about.

Bad language? I hope you never have to get a bus, stand in a queue, stand in the school play ground etc. Yes kids pick up words, they soon put them back down again if it isn't in your usual vocabulary at home. You can't manage others behaviour.

The big Q is: have you damaged your friendship? Clearly you thought enough of her to make her godmother and you said she is your best friend. Have you over reacted?

I accept I can't protect him from bad language everywhere but I didn't like her using the f word right next to him.
She had buggered off (strop in her bedroom?) so it felt odd to stay tbh.
I felt very uncomfortable for the minute fore I left.

Nah, I agree, she's been wanting to say something to your DP for ages, that didn't come out of nowhere.

Does he have a habit of thinking he's having a joke and she takes it more to heart than anyone realises?

Well...you've burnt that bridge haven't you. Everyone has off days, hers just got 10 times worse.

blimey I think you are being a bit precious / childish and hearing the word fuck wont kill a toddler

I would have said something about the swearing too....but it DOES sound lke she's been waiting to have a go at your DH....is he a bit of a joker or something? Maybe she thinks he gets at her...

If she's your best mate, why didn't you go after her to ask what the problem was?

YW all BU.
Blimey!

And Louie Spence is a bit of a nobber.

its her house. she can fucking swear if she likes. if it bothers you, explain what the word really means, and the colloquial version, to your toddler, and add that polite people don't use it.

chickens maybe that's what I should have done but I really felt uncomfortable and, as she'd stormed off, I felt I should just go really.
I'm not the sort to leave like that, but, because she was so aggressive, I felt it was the only option.

Her parents are getting old and becoming hard work, so she's probably stressed. Plus someone compared her to "that Luis prat" by virtue of her clothing. I would have walked out too, on your DH, but she was in her own home and so had nowhere to go. Poor woman.

you were both BU

she was obviously upset about something and could have been more empathetic

out of order to reprimand her for use of the F word, drawing more attention to it than had you ignored it.

she was a berk for flouncing off but you've compounded it and probably escalated the drama unneccessarily

I don't know how you've got the energy

It sounds like you don't like each other, are you friends in a respectful, enjoyable, mutually supportive friendship or do you just live near each other and have dcs the same age?
The exchange you had with each other esp. you saying 'language' sounds like youre trying to change her in her own home... I would never say 'language' to any of my friends.

Cut her some slack. Her parents had just left and she doesn't fel very good. I think you could have been more understanding. Maybe she is better off without you.

YABU

YABU sounds very much like you flounced off like a sulky teenager. Not a great example to set either. Reckon she might need a sympathetic ear as she sounds stressed out.

Is there a reason that you think it's ok to reprimand adults in their own homes?!

I say fuck a lot. If people don't want their precious ickle children hearing it, they don't have to bring them to my house!

Obviously I could be very wrng about this. You stated your friend is very often snappy with you? Is she disrespectful in her attitude with you? I fear I may have been too harsh. It is very difficult to tell from a few sentences isn't it on here? Maybe talk it over but if this is a serious personality clash sunds to me as if you both could either see each other much less or end it. Upsetting for both parties involved. I wouldn't like a friend swearing infront of my child, that is just how I am right or wrong but if this happens a lot, just don't take your toddler if possible. I hope you are O'K? :)

Nah sorry ywnbu at all, I'm sure everyone commenting would be annoyed if their friend was was fuck next to their child over something so stupid.

Your friend needs to grow up, your dh was commenting on that Louis prat, not saying she's an idiot. Although she does sound like an idiot.

Sorry to drip feed (cooking etc).
The background to our relationship: met at work about 17 years ago. Have been very close / best buddies since.
She's very fiery and I'm pretty placid / try to think first. We've never fallen out.
She's a bit of a drinker and gets very argumentative when she's had a bottle or two. I just accept that as a "feature" and love her regardless.
But she can be very vocal (to the point of being rude) at times, never directed at me though and I've said "language" to her before (only once needed to, but at my house, and she said "oops sorry")

When we turned up she asked my DS for a hug, he said no, she said "fine then" and said something else like "I didn't want to hug you either". Obviously I took that to be a joke because people aren't like that to children

I'm very tolerant of her stroppiness because we are genuine friends, she's been an absolute star: cleaned up my bathroom when DH & I had norovirus
But she has a temper and it can be unpleasant to be around.
Her DD is 15.

I'm sad this has happened and I'm sure we'll be fine.

This is the first time I've ever reacted to her behaviour, because it's never been directed at me.