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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want PFB sleeping in 37 year old cot?

95 replies

Mitsouko · 28/06/2012 22:12

Ok, I'll bet this has been done before many a time, but just trying to canvas opinions here. DH and I would like to take 3 month old DD to visit grandparents this summer. It's a 4 hour train journey and we don't have a car so we have to travel light. Good friend in DH's hometown has offered to let us borrow a travel cot for DD - so far so good. However, MIL is kicking up a fuss as she says this will not be necessary as she has perfectly good wicker crib and mattress that we can use. Both have been in the garage for 37 years - as they were both used by DH and his sister. She will clean the crib and air the mattress. But seriously - 37 years? Maybe the crib, but the mattress, surely not? Or am I being terribly PFB?

OP posts:
chocolatehobnobs · 29/06/2012 08:04

My DS now 7 months slept in the lovely wicker crib that my bro (36), me my sis, 4 nieces and nephews all slept in full time. He was fine until 4 and a half months old. We bought a new mattress for each baby.

2rebecca · 29/06/2012 08:08

We used a family "heirloom" cot and a borrowed crib. They both got new mattresses and the cot got repainted.
We are too wasteful these days

letsblowthistacostand · 29/06/2012 08:43

My dds have both slept in the cot that my dad had 60-odd years ago. My parents don't like to throw anything away.

They did, however, buy a new mattress, scrub the cot down and measure the bars to see that they meet current safety regs. Was perfectly sturdy and so nice to have a proper cot when we visit!!

exoticfruits · 29/06/2012 08:45

I have a lovely wicker crib in the loft-I would recover and get a new mattress, but it far superior to anything new. It was at least 20 years old when I got it.

Woodlands · 29/06/2012 08:49

We tried using the wooden swinging crib that DH had slept in as a baby when DS was a newborn - PILs got a new mattress for it. Unfortunately it swung side to side so my PFB used to gently slide over every time... not very restful. As it was DS would only settle in bed next to me so it wasn't an issue!

We bought a mattress that fits in our travel cot and is much more comfortable than the thin foam thing it came with. Might be worth considering?

hipposaurus · 29/06/2012 08:51

Yanbu. It's against sids guidelines, if you can explain this kindly and tactfully I'm sure she'll understand.

mowbraygirl · 29/06/2012 09:06

I have just got out of my loft a wicker basket and stand I bought when expecting DD 39 years ago this is for my DS's first baby due in 3 months.. The crib has been used by numerous babies but always with a new mattress. I have also always had it well wrapped up and everytime I get it down because of the type of wicker it is I can give it a good scrub out in the garden.

My SIL has a cot in her loft that she bought for her first DS 55 years ago and was most annoyed that her DIL's wouldn't use it when they came to stay. Apart from the fact the mattress was gross the cot was unsafe it just used to slot together hardly any screws.

VegansTasteBetter · 29/06/2012 09:10

37 years old means there is a risk of lead paint having been used. Wicker will be hard to clean probably and must definitely have had mold on it. Matress is an absolute fucking no go obviously. tell mil thank you but no thank you. Get used to it as this won't be the first time.

VegansTasteBetter · 29/06/2012 09:11

37 years old means there is a risk of lead paint having been used. Wicker will be hard to clean probably and must definitely have had mold on it. Matress is an absolute fucking no go obviously. tell mil thank you but no thank you. Get used to it as this won't be the first time.

nilbyname · 29/06/2012 09:15

My kids sleep in an ancient cot at GPs, new mattress though.

My best mates children slept in her wicker cot, that was her mums! It was totally cleaned, sanded down and re-painted. Looks so charming. New mattress though!

Just buy your own little travel cot. Would be easiest.

AKMD · 29/06/2012 09:32

YANBU, no way. We put DS's moses basket in the loft for future use, got it down the other day and it is covered in mould. There is no way on earth I would ever put a baby in that, no matter how well it was cleaned; it went straight to the tip. That basket was less than three years old; a 37 year old crib and mattress stored in a damp, dusty garage will be completely unusable.

Herrena · 29/06/2012 09:57

We got a made-to-measure new mattress for DS1's (ebay) crib - it was bottom of the range but perfectly comfortable and cost £45. I think it was from babymattresses.com or something of that ilk.

Maybe use the cot but with a new mattress, as a concession? Not that she sounds like the type who will appreciate a concession!

Original poster
Mitsouko · 29/06/2012 13:19

Thanks for all the advice! I'm a big fan of second hand actually...most of DD's baby clothes are eBay purchases. Pram, bednest and Moses basket were loaned by friends...though all relatively new as they have young kids too and I got new mattresses for each. I might not mind Mil's crib if I knew it had been carefully stored and was in good condition, and would be given a thorough clean and a new mattress. However, having seen the garage this is unlikely and any probing or new mattress requests would be met with argument about how precious we are with our fancy London airs. Mil is not exactly up to date re current safety guidelines. For example, we are having to bring DD's car seat on the train as Mil thinks its ridiculous that a baby her age would need one...surely you can just sit her on someone's lap for the 30 minute drive from the station? When DD was 4 weeks old with colic and reflux her advice was to give cows milk in a bottle with some rusks crumbled in.

I'm guessing we may just have to dip further into ever dwindling savings and buy a travel cot of amazon or eBay and have it shipped to Mils address. Couldn't manage it on the train as I have to carry DD and DH has to carry suitcase and car seat and we have a journey from south London to kings x, then a 4 hour trip.

OP posts:
RillaBlythe · 29/06/2012 13:21

My DD slept in a 1920s cot at my grandmother's house. It was quite intriguing - sort of like a hammock. She said it was called a Peter Pan cot?

Original poster
Mitsouko · 29/06/2012 13:24

Best way to frame it is probably just to say, "oh, we're just getting this delivered to spare you all that trouble of digging the crib of the garage and doing all that cleaning". But it does seem a waste as we only go up once or twice a year, and won't be able to bring it back with us.

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jaggythistle · 29/06/2012 13:42

have you looked into pop up travel cots? they fold up tiny so you'd be able to travel with it. i got mine from an ebay shop. and it was cheaper than a big one.

mine was Samsonite but i think there are others Koodi maybe?

silverten · 29/06/2012 13:44

Seriously- do yourselves a favour and just get a decent second hand one from the Bay. Most travel cots seem to have non-permeable thin mattresses that won't have soaked up the yuck and you'll be putting a clean sheet over it anyway!

Or if you're bothered about second hand, asda do perfectly good playpen style travel cots for cheap. Free delivery to a store, or a fiver or so to MIL'S house. If you keep the plastic bag it comes in, she can keep it in her garage and it'll be fine.

I have also just thought of the perfect excuse for you to get one of the playpen style ones anyway- it'll mean her DGD can be safe at granny's house without granny having to rush around childproofing everything. Forward thinking y'see...

jaggythistle · 29/06/2012 13:56

sounds good silver we've a cheap one and it is useful for chuck a few toys in containment. especially if it's a novelty. even at 2 DS1 was all excited to get in his 'holiday bed'.

i forgot that although my pop up cot was cheap, the mattress was really thin so i ended up getting a better one, thus making it less of a bargain. so i might retract that suggestion!

marge2 · 29/06/2012 14:00

Tell them in advance - kindly - that you are taking the travel cot. Just keep repeating it.

Gubbins · 29/06/2012 14:03

New matress, but why replace a perfectly fine crib.

I love the fact that my children sleep in the same folding cot as I, my siblings and all my cousins did, with the blankets that covered us all. The high chair they use was my granfather's before them, so must be 100 years old now, and I love rooting through the old trunks to see what of the fantastic gear from the 70's, 50's or even older my children will fit into this time. It's great not having to worry about squeezing a cot into the car, and I really hope that in 30 years time my own grandchildren will be using the same items too.

Gubbins · 29/06/2012 14:05

Of course if the crib is falling to bits then that's different, but if that does prove the case then can't you co-sleep for a night and pop to the nearest argos in the morning.

MaidenDevon · 29/06/2012 14:20

I would only use the wicker crib with a new mattress and if the crib had been steam cleaned.

Saying that you're doing exactly what I would do - get a cheapy travel cot from Tesco online/Kiddicare (ours was £25-£30 I think). Get it delivered to PIL to save you carrying it. Do make sure you (MIL?) has got some extra blankets for it though, the mattress is not really a mattress at all - we put thick blankets on it, then a sheet over that to make it more comfortable.

As other people have said they make great playpens/storage for all the toys/nappies/gubbins.

MaidenDevon · 29/06/2012 14:23

I should probably add a disclaimer - we co-sleep at home (me and DD in one bed with DH in another room), she wouldn't entertain the idea of the travel cot at Nana's house, so DD & I co-slept and DH got the sofa Grin

Original poster
Mitsouko · 29/06/2012 15:14

It would be fab to just co sleep and not be bothered with any of this, but the spare bed is up on a really, really high divan, and the mattress is a narrow double, soft and a bit saggy. Instinctively I don't feel it would be the safest set up for co sleeping. It's a good 3 foot drop from the bed to the wooden floor. Hence the cot drama. Plus, Mil would be horrified by co sleeping. Not as a safety thing, more of a weird, "rod for your own back" situation. In the same vein as bf and sling wearing, picking up DD too much, etc.

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