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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To *hint* to boyfriend that I'll be breaking up with him this weekend?

55 replies

BloodyCrossRoads · 28/06/2012 08:42

So I posted last week about my partner not even bothering to contact me about my exam results - we were supposed to be going out that night to cheer me up/congratulate me yet he never bothered contacting me about that either so I went out with friends, assuming he didn't want to go. He went in a strop and said it was all my fault as I should have contacted him blah blah blah - he has not apologised.
A couple of days later we'd still not physically seen each other and I kept thinking about things - how he's never actually here when I need someone, Christmas, exam results, even stupid things like the England games - we're sat watching them at separate houses despite the fact that we live 10 minutes from one another. All conversation is over facebook or text and we see each other roughly once a week. It's just all a bit shit. So I text him and told him I needed "space". Cliche' but I was too chicken to actually say I wanted to break up. He text me back saying "ok, I'll order you a shuttle haha" wtf?? His social skills are mind boggling.

So anyway, I was due to go to his house this weekend and sleep over. I have cancelled. I have made it blatently obvious that things are not looking good and a split is imminent. He has just text me to ask that since I'm not staying at his house saturday night, could we go for lunch Sunday?

AIBU to text back "yes, we need to talk anyway and I'd rather it be face to face rather than text or facebook this time". He'll know. Because we've had the "we need to talk" thing before when we broke up. This time it will be the true end to everything though.

So yeah, bit long winded but - AIBU to hint at impending break up?

OP posts:
NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 28/06/2012 09:35

Perhaps his space shuttle comment and request to meet for lunch are his way of dropping a hint to you and he plans to end the relationship over lunch?

Either way, best thing to do is end it now, either in person or over the phone. It's as easy as this. "I think we both know this relationship isn't working out so I want to end it now."

Then don't get into any discussions about what went wrong or why.

Pseudo341 · 28/06/2012 10:13

You live 10 minutes away, go round to his this evening and tell him face to face. Over the phone is inexcusable unless you live bloody miles away and can't get to see him for ages. Tell him it's over and tell him why, no lies, he deserves to know.

Trills · 28/06/2012 10:14

YABU to hint.

Either break up with him or don't.

YouOldSlag · 28/06/2012 10:29

Pseudo. I think over the phone is OK in this instance since they do a lot over text and FB. Also, if I am being dumped, I would rather it be done over the phone so the dumper can't see how upset I am. You can put on a brave face on the phone and not go to pieces and cry on the pavement asking "why?" over and over again.

Not that I would ever do that. Blush

RabidAnchovy · 28/06/2012 10:51

Are you both 15?

Just end it and be done with it

Blurgirl · 28/06/2012 11:14

You sound like teenagers!

Shullbit · 28/06/2012 11:28

Why hint? If you want it to end, why wait? You live 10 minutes away, hardly hard to talk face to face before Sunday.

gordyslovesheep · 28/06/2012 11:32

maybe his mum doesn't let him put on school nights shullbit

seriously OP stop acting like a petulant teen (unless you are one) and just end it - I doubt he'll be scared for life

gordyslovesheep · 28/06/2012 11:32

damn phone! let him OUT not 'put on' !

Mrsjay · 28/06/2012 11:39

why prolong the agony i know he has pissed you off you obviously want him to feel bad and insecure before you dump him, just do it now and get it over ith,

WhataTreat · 28/06/2012 11:47

I wouldn't hint, I'd just do it now. It seems a bit cruel to let him think he's off for a nice Sunday lunch only to break up with him. Some people don't always pick up on hints that well!

ImperialBlether · 28/06/2012 12:02

Why should anyone pay for a lunch where they're going to dump someone or be dumped.

Send him a text. Nt wkg out. UR boring. Over & out.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 28/06/2012 12:26

I'd prefer the phone after breaking up with one boyfriend who seemed more concerned with having sex one last time than the fact that I was breaking up with him. "You look so upset, come upstairs and lie down until you feel better." Hmm

UnimaginitiveDadThemedUsername · 28/06/2012 12:33

OP - Men aren't very good at getting hints.

Just tell him.

mirai · 28/06/2012 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sonnet · 28/06/2012 12:35

Pop round this evening and just tell him - no need for all the drama

stifnstav · 28/06/2012 12:39

I'm astounded!

When I posted on your other thread I honestly thought you were both college students - I can't believe that you're having a teenage style relationship with a bloke who is approaching 40!

If you're only 10 mins away then go round now/tonight and get rid! Why wait till the weekend?

Lifeissweet · 28/06/2012 12:40

It'll be a relief to you both when it's over. Just do it.

WhiteWidow · 28/06/2012 12:41

How old are you? Confused

Do both of you a favour and just end it now. Don't pussyfoot round, I did stuff like this when I was 15. Then you can go out this weekend and enjoy yourself too ;)

badtasteflump · 28/06/2012 12:42

Agree with others who say just text or ring and tell him now. Why build up to a big discussion at the weekend? Doesn't sound like your relationship ever really got off the starting blocks anyway, so I wouldn't bother making a big drama about ending it now.

badtasteflump · 28/06/2012 12:42

PS the is aimed at the boyfriend, not you! Smile

lottiegb · 28/06/2012 12:44

You want him to sit and listen to you listing his faults, don't you. All he needs to know is it's over. Then he won't actually be interested in your plan for his transformation into a better person.

picnicbasketcase · 28/06/2012 12:45

Don't hint, he might try to get in first and break up with you, and it would be totes humilating tomorrow in the school canteen.

Seriously though, you should do it sooner rather than later.

girlywhirly · 28/06/2012 12:49

I agree, why prolong the agony, and why would you want to share a last meal anyway in these circumstances? Go round and tell him, and pick up anything you've left at his house.

At least then you can go out at the week-end and have a bit of fun with your mates.

Viviennemary · 28/06/2012 12:52

Are you kind of hoping he will agree to change and you can carry on. I don't agree with this dumping by text business. He might be devastated. Not saying he doesn't deserve it though.

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