To not understand why it's so wrong to look good for your dp?

[Gettheetoanunnery]

Ok, so it's a little bit of a thread about a thread but I have also been wondering about this for a long time.
Recent thread here where a lot of posters seem to think its totally wrong to do yourself up a bit for your dp.
I totally get that we shouldn't have to be all dolled up and 50s housewife-ish, but what's wrong with going to a little extra effort to look nice for your DP sometimes? All it takes is a comb through your hair, touch of make up and perfume.
I would hate it if DP didn't look after himself and never make an effort to look nice.

My DP doesn't care, I'm the one who is vain!

I feel the same about him, but he puts a lot of effort into his appearance too.

You say men should make themselves look nice too,
But that's not makeup, hair removal, heels, bras, heat styling etc.
That's the difference, women are expected to do so much more even if it hurts them, for the benefit of men. Men have to shower and that's it. Shower for him, showering is good anyway, but all the other stuff is pointless and sexist.

I work with DH, but only PT hours. So during the course of the day he sees me:

• just woken up in my pjs with hair sticking up wildly
• just out of the shower, wrapped in towel with wet hair
• at work, in nice clothes, nice shoes, hair done and a bit of makeup
• after work in my sweatpants and ratty sweater, makeup removed
• back in pjs and dozing on sofa ready for bed

I don't think he actually notices any difference.

So, it was o.k to dress up to get the man, but not to keep him?
I see why your men are "working late".

krumbum hair removal is way way worse for men.Imagine having to shave your face everyday must be awful.

I don't need to dress up to 'keep my man' what a strange thing to say

I like to look nice for DH, and he does for me too...but I know he doesn't expect it and he often tells me he finds me just as beautiful when I've just crawled out of bed (I know...pass the sick bucket).

He really doesn't care if I wear make-up or not so when I do, it's more for my benefit. Hair is a big thing for me, as is personal style...but again that's more for me. To be honest, if I'm making an effort for DH, it's normally under my clothes if you get what I mean.

So in my opinion...there's nothing wrong with wanting to look nice for you partner (man or woman) but I think it's wrong to feel like you HAVE to everday, just to keep them.

I wouldn't want to be with a man who needed me to dress up constantly just to hold his attention to be honest sinatra...men aren't moths...you don't need to waggle something shiny in front of them to stop them leaving.

And if you do, then he's not worth it anyway.

I don't wear heels...I'm 3 inches taller than DH as it is

Oh No!! Maybe he'll be intimidated by my tallness and run off...I'd better hack off my legs...or something

I think its offputting if someone male or female looks pristine every day as tjey often wont join in anything dirty or fun.Imo its more important to keep a nice body/weight so your in shape then regardless of what your doing/ wearing he/she knows whats underneath.Dressing up sometimes is also good but not always practical day to day as long as you keep the passion alive you will be happy regardless of what your wearing.

Perhaps break your kneecaps. Heels in a wheelchair at least means you're making the effort to look sexy for him. DUH!

Molly
Society doesn't look down on men who have beards

most workplaces do and a large amount of women.There was a thread about it recently brards are like marmite. If my dh grew a beard I would be very disapointed in him.

It means the op is not being unreasonable for making an effort.
If laughing at you is insecurity...

Laughing at who? You sound quite odd tbh

I'm confused.

And insulting people is normal?
Odd FTW!

Blonderthanred if i was waiting for David Beckham to walk through the door i'd most definitely touch up my make up etc but alas i am not, so i don't :D

*You say men should make themselves look nice too,
But that's not makeup, hair removal, heels, bras, heat styling etc. *

All I do is eye-liner (which I wore long before I met him) and perfume, which I like to wear.

Anyway, you don't wear a bra for your husband, you wear one to stop your back hurting, it's hardly high maintenance to fasten a bra on every day and single women wear them too even if they're not trying to impress anyone!

Basically, I am low maintenance but those little touches were there long before I met DH and I still like to keep them up as a matter of personal pride in myself.

I don't think it's wrong but it shouldn't be exlusively for one's partner it should be for yourself too. I am naturally neat and tidy and like to keep my hair nicely and wear make-up and perfume every day.

DH is also well groomed and I wouldn't want a man that wasn't. Well shaven, splash of aftershave, good suit, or decent casual clothes.

If DH was unshaven, unwashed, slobby and sat in a vest I would have found a better model.

married- I agree. You've got to have some standards! I wouldn't be complete slob for DH because I wasn't a complete slob before I met him.

Equally, if he was unwashed and unshaven with unkempt hair (great word- unkempt) then I would be unimpressed!

It's not about superficial appearances it's about self respect.

I don't think there is anything wrong with making an effort for your OH. Similarly, I don't think there's anything wrong if you don't (basic standards of personal hygiene aside).

I agree with Freddos I make an effort if we are going out or at the weekends because I want to him to remember that I can look amazing.

But if your OH doesn't love you for who you are underneath, then is he really worth making an effort for? A man like like would seem very superficial to me, and I wouldn't waste any time on him.

Like many said above, my OH has seen me at my best, and my worst, and he loves me nonethelessless. (One of the times he actually saw me at my worst was shortly after we got together, and he didn't run for the hills then!)

Oooo like like? I meant like that!

And nonetheless. Not nonethelessless. I don't know where that one came from!