mil spoils my dds all the time, she visits weekly and 9 times out of 10 brings bags of presents, books, cbeebies magazines, craft sets, teddies, it is endless and we have asked her not to bring so much as it spoils dds but she says why shouldnt she while she can.
last week dd1 had early bday party for classmates, we invited grandparents to watch which they kindly did, mil came and started shouting dd1 from softplay slides with her friends to come over for a bag, she said it was a present so i presumed bday present and said all dds presents were on table but she wasnt opening them till her bday so should i put it on the table for her, no it wasnt a bday present, it was a magazine and teddy just as a gift for dd1 and she expected dd1 to stop enjoying her party and come and take the bag and look at it. dd1 rushed over quickly looked in bag said thanks and carried on playing.
so why wont mil buy dd1 a bday present? some weeks ago when we were ordering dd1 some small presents dp asked mil if she wanted us to order some lego off her for dd1 bday. she said no she was thinking of getting her something else, fine. then last week she said she was going to give me some money to buy her something, but didnt say how much or waht to order, this week she has given me a tenner but will give me a bit more next week when she can, i said thats not necessary but she insists and fil says he will give some too when he can.
so the week before dds bday i have a tenner and have to go shopping when i ordered all presents and wrapped them weeks ago, then a day or 2 before dds bday i am getting more money but dont know ho much and need to shop again, then wrap these things.
eveery other week she can choose toys/books for dds but not for her bday 
im ungrateful i know but she drives me mad.
1st xmas she gave her a tenner in the card and moaned that it dropped on floor and dd1 ignored it, she was 6 months old and didnt know what a tenner was.
2nd xmas she bought a bag full of toys round xmas eve all unwrapped with no paper so i sat till midnight wrapping them all as dd enjoyed the unwrapping at 18 months.
3rd xmas i ordered what she wanted as mil asked me to and then waited forever for the money.
4th xmas she gave me the money a few days before xmas and told me to get toys with it, she didnt want it saving as she wanted dd to enjoy it now and she didnt want dd to choose things after as she wanted her to have them at xmas, she didnt understand why i refused to go shopping 2 days before xmas with dd1 andbaby dd2 in tow when id done my own shopping in advance and wrapping while dd1 was at nursery.
long and ranty i know, i should be grateful she buys her things ans visits but why can she buy stuff all year, including boys outfits for dd2 cos she thinks she is a tomboy and clothes too small all the time and craft sets to keep me busy as she loves to say but suddenly is incapable at bday and xmas.
aaaagh