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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or selfish here?

65 replies

3teenhell · 25/06/2012 19:39

Me and DP have taken our 4 kids away twice this year. Once at easter in uk and June half term to spain.
Now me and DP are planning a week away on our own in september.
My dad will stay at my house for the week and look after my DC.

DP today has come home and said that he has been told we are selfish for going away without them.
I don't think we are, the fact is we couldn't afford to take them again, it costs a fortune to take all six of us.

Me and DP have only been together for 18 months and always have our kids mine all the time, his every wknd so time alone is minimal.

So come are we selfish?

OP posts:
itsbob · 25/06/2012 19:57

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gingerchick · 25/06/2012 19:57

Your kids aren't little and I see no reason why you shouldn't go! They will be fine and have lots of fun with your dad, go for it and enjoy yourself and don't feel guilty or selfish sounds fine to me

yellowraincoat · 25/06/2012 19:58

It's not selfish at all.

I spent half my life at my gran's house and it was great. You've taken them away twice, they don't need another holiday.

Original poster
3teenhell · 25/06/2012 19:59

Phew i'm not evil mum then!!

OP posts:
BlingLoving · 25/06/2012 19:59

Not selfish at all. Sheesh, I think it's probably good for children to realise you can do things away from them. My parents went away for 10 days when I was 13, leaving us largely in hands of my 18 yo brother. It was great. And the presents were fab!! Grin

itsbob · 25/06/2012 20:01

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JeanBodel · 25/06/2012 20:02

Try it this way:

AIBU to let my kids spend a whole week on holiday with their grandfather? They love him, they have a great relationship and will have loads of fun.

YANBU.

GrahamTribe · 25/06/2012 20:02

Grin @ Solid - "buckethead" sounds pretty much right. 3teenhell, of course you're not being selfish, you've a right to a life of your own too.

DartsAgain · 25/06/2012 20:03

Definitely not selfish. After all, when the kids are grown you don't want to wake up and find you and your DP no longer have any relationship. DP and I have not maanged to get away without the kids due to lack of potential carers, but have certainly made time alone for each other while kids have been at school.

itsbob · 25/06/2012 20:04

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AdventuresWithVoles · 25/06/2012 20:05

Does your dad mind? Will your children miss you both desperately? Who else should you listen to?

CurrySpice · 25/06/2012 20:05

Not selfish at all.

I think it probably says more abot them than you tbh. Jealous?

I took the DDs away at half term, just the three of us. 2 weeks later it was my birthday and my lovely DP whicksed me away for 4 days while the DDs were with their dad.

Didn't even give it a second thought tbh

Go and have a lovely time :o

AdventuresWithVoles · 25/06/2012 20:05

oops, massive X post.
Don't know what the Nazi refs are about, though. Hmm

topbannana · 25/06/2012 20:06

Pah, my DM has DS(8) at various points over the year (though he is the only GC) and we shamelessly enjoy ourselves while he is away. Never considered it to BU before Hmm

Assuming you have complete faith that they will be OK (which you have already confirmed) then go for it. I think kids benefit from happy parents and I know we certainly enjoy our times away alone and come back the better for it plus we have just come back from holiday with DS and almost need a holiday to recover. Holidays with kids are rarely holidays for adults :o

itsbob · 25/06/2012 20:06

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BlueBirdsNest · 25/06/2012 20:09

yes selfish .

you're going off with your new man for a childfree holiday

Are they going to get holiday too this year?

CurrySpice · 25/06/2012 20:15

BlueBirdsNest have you actually read the OP, let alone the rest of the thread!?!

DressDownFriday · 25/06/2012 20:15

Not at all selfish.

Go and enjoy your time together.

I've reported bob.

highlandcoo · 25/06/2012 20:30

Of course it's not selfish. You will have a lovely break as a couple and the kids and their grandad will enjoy their time together.

The ages they are, they'll probably soon be going on camping/school trips/ weekends away themselves .. it's good for independence and confidence to have fun times away on their own as well as family holidays together.

Sounds to me as if you have the balance right :)

Original poster
3teenhell · 25/06/2012 21:25

Thank you for confirming what i thought! And bluebird yes they have had 2 holidays!

OP posts:
Angelico · 25/06/2012 21:51

YANBU, especially after your kids have had 2 lovely holidays.

ZebraLeg · 25/06/2012 21:51

My parents had a holiday every year by themselves when DB and I were children. We didn't mind at all. Go for it!

MamaMumra · 25/06/2012 22:13

Do you think you're being selfish? Surely if you can afford 3 holidays you can take them too Grin ?

Original poster
3teenhell · 25/06/2012 22:53

The differnce between taking just us and taking them is about £1200 we can stay in a family apartment so just flights for us. But its a studio so too small for us all.

No i don't think its selfish, i think being a parent dorsn't mean you can't do anything alone

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Original poster
3teenhell · 25/06/2012 22:54

And it appears most of you feel the same so i don't feel bad, just made me question myself a bit earlier

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