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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask dh to stop on his way home from work to pick up some sanitary towels?

123 replies

TheRhubarb · 25/06/2012 13:46

I've run out and my period has just started. I normally have a good supply but the car has broken down so for the past 2 weeks I've been without a car. That should have been resolved this weekend but the old banger he went to buy to replace ours, also broke down. No car means online shopping and when I do online shopping I often forget these necessities because I'm not confronted with an aisle full of them to remind me.

Nearest shop is the village PO which will be full of the horsey set after school and probably won't stock any decent pads (I need nighttime ones as well as ordinary winged ones). So unless dh gets some on the way back I'm stuffed. However he HATES me asking him to do this (yes I have asked before) and I realise he finds it really embarrassing, but I don't know what else to do?

OP posts:
Springforward · 25/06/2012 20:35

YANBU.

Krumbum · 25/06/2012 20:49

Whys he embarressed? Does he think the shop assistant will think he has periods? Ofc Yanbu stop justifying it. It's the same as him picking up any other item the household needs.

Coconutty · 25/06/2012 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PorkyandBess · 25/06/2012 22:00

My standard text to my dh is, 'tampons. lil-lets. corks' (meaning super-plus).

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 25/06/2012 22:07

I think the best method to overcome such squeamishness is a healthy dose of teasing.

wigglesrock · 25/06/2012 22:11

My husband has always picked up tampons for me if he's doing the shopping. I've just asked him if he's scundered doing it - bit late now after 20 years Grin He just said "No, why would I be? it's just like buying toilet roll" [shrug]. Mind you my dad used to nip out and buy them for my mum and us when we were living at home, he also used to buy us chocolate at the same time Grin

Uglymush · 25/06/2012 22:24

My DH will get sanitary towels but not condoms!!

thornbury · 25/06/2012 22:34

If I asked DP he'd get them without a second thought, and without moaning about having to stop at the shop too. He will shortly be living with me and two other menstruating females (my teenage DDs) so it's just as well he's not easily embarrassed.

In fact, the only time I've seen him embarrassed was when DD2 was larking about and yanked at his pyjama trousers and he'd already taken his boxers off Blush

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 25/06/2012 22:37

WHY on earth is he embarrassed?!

Dh gets mine for me all the time, just as part of a regular shop or if he's on his way home and I've run out he'll run in and grab my normal ones (and quite often a bottle of wine and a bar of choc to go with it - hedging bets in case I'm hormonal Grin )

MissRee · 25/06/2012 22:41

A friend of mine asked her male friend to go get a pregnancy test for her. Male friend couldn't resist buying a toilet brush at the same time and telling the cashier that the toilet brush was for just in case it was positive Grin

My DP gets sannies for me if I need them, he doesn't embarrass very easily though!

TheRhubarb · 25/06/2012 22:42

yellowraincoat - that is exactly what our village is like. The assistant often tells me what other people have bought, as though I'm remotely interested! They slag off tourists and the other day the assistant told me that she didn't like the crowds of tourists because they are more prone to shoplifting!

BUT, as it happens I'm going to have to buy some sanitary products from them after all. He did buy me two packs but it looks as though this month is going to be a bad, stay in the house one. So I'll get through 3 packs.

And the 'big shop' was confined to a basket because he couldn't find a quid for the trolley, so I'll have to do that online shop after all. Ah well!

It's been an interesting discussion though. From my own point of view, I see sanitary towels very differently from razors because periods are the expulsion I suppose of a waste product - the womb lining. So because they deal with bodily fluids rather than just hair, they are different to me. I buy razors all the time and whether or not they are pink, double bladed or lined with aloe vera matters not so long as they remove unwanted hair. But there are so many different pads such as scented, ultra absorbant, night-time, light, winged, flexible etc and that's before you get to the tampons. And it does matter if he gets it wrong because my periods are a nightmare and I need the branded night-time ones if I'm to save my sheets and clothes.

I can fully understand his embarrassment and I'd like to thank thechairmanmeow for his honesty. Attitudes towards periods are changing but for some men it can be bewildering to buy something you know is vital to your other half, which is only used by women and normally perused by women. I suppose it's like asking them to buy stretchmark cream, they wouldn't know where to start! It's lovely to hear of so many partners who don't find it a problem at all and that's been an eye opener to me. Luckily the matter was a bit of a non-issue in the end as he did his bit and didn't complain or state that he was embarrassed so perhaps we've overcome that particular hurdle.

Thanks too for the posters who also said that their partners felt a twinge of embarrassment too, it makes me feel a little better, particularly since I did feel mocked by a couple of posts. So it appears that my dh is not a child after all. Smile

OP posts:
Shakey1500 · 25/06/2012 22:43

Everytime we do the supermarket shop together DH makes a point of stopped by the towels/tampons and asking "Do you need any...thingies?"

He's an old duffer (said with affection) and thinks it's the right on/in touch with his feminine side thing to do. Makes me smile every time :)

eurochick · 25/06/2012 22:44

I once sent a text to my OH asking him to pick up some "orange tampax" for me. He turned up at my flat with regular Tampax and some Tropicana and had no clue what he had done wrong. Oh how I laughed as I leaked through my wholly inadequate sanitary protection .

TheRhubarb · 25/06/2012 22:48

LOL eurochick, that would have completely flummoxed dh!

shakey, everytime we go to the supermarket now with the kids we make a point of asking in a VERY loud voice "Do we need any more dog food?" If neither of the kids answer we just keep on repeating it until dd finally snaps and says "we don't have a dog!"

It's funny to us! Grin

OP posts:
Shakey1500 · 25/06/2012 22:54

Grin weird! We do that too, DS and I race to the pet food section frantically saying we need cat food, find it, then do a mock verbal "realisation" that we don't have one. People's reactions vary (and never fail to amuse me) from laughter to rolly eyes. We don't care, we giggle anyway :)

hoodoo12345 · 25/06/2012 23:05

I've had mine get anything from ky jelly to breast pads in the past:)
Tell him to man up and get on with it!

hermionestranger · 25/06/2012 23:09

Tell him at least he's not my dh. I was caught out on holiday and sent dh to the nearest shop. It was a little petrol station and they kept the towels behind the counter so he had to ask the lad working there for them.

We were in France. Grin

biddysmama · 25/06/2012 23:10

i dont have to tell my dh which i need anymore, i ask him to pick them up all the time, and tenas while i was pregnant and breastpads at the beginning of breastfeeding, i buy his lady deodorant,razers,undies etc so why not?

TheRhubarb · 26/06/2012 10:12

Do you really buy his deodorant and undies?
I just wouldn't do this. I buy underwear for the kids but he can buy his own and he can choose his own smelly too.
I would find it weird if dh came back from shopping and had bought me some new knickers, socks and deodorant (not least because of the brown knicker fiasco). I just find that those are the things I like to choose and I assume the same goes for him. He probably wouldn't care if I did buy his grots and socks but I just don't see why I should.

Guess we're all different! Smile

OP posts:
JustFabulous · 26/06/2012 10:48

I haven't bought DH any toiletries for months but that is because he never writes what he needs on the shopping list. He doesn't seem bothered by having to do it. .

TheRhubarb · 26/06/2012 10:51

Buy him some incontinence pads because you never know, and besides men do sharts so he might need them next time he's out for a curry and a few beers.

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 26/06/2012 11:02

Rhubarb I buy deodorant and pants/socks, razor blades etc for DH. He is out of the house 7-6.30 every day and it is much easier for me to pick up things like that for him while I out and about during the week.
Otherwise he would have to do it at the weekend, and I would rather we had that clear to relax and have fun as a family.

TheRhubarb · 26/06/2012 11:15

Hmm I can see your point. My dh works long hours and he either has to pick these things up in the evening or at the weekends. However I have no idea if he news new grots, if his smellies are running out, if his socks have holes in etc. So when he runs out, he has to get them.

I have no probs buying razors and foam because I use them too.

Besides, they have to venture out occassionally to buy their own clothes don't they? So they can top up their grots and socks then.

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