to let the guest choose?

[Impossibledream]

When my kids have a friend over for dinner, I allow their friend (guest) to choose what we have for dinner (as it's easier to ask what they do want, rather than go through a list of "I don't like that"). They (guest) also gets first choice of pudding.

When we have no guests over, I choose and cook dinner, and have the type of household with my kids, 'if you don't like tonight's dinner choice, I'm not doing anything else, it's this or go and have a bowl of cereal.' 99.99% they eat their dinner with no fuss.

When my kids go to others for dinner, the friend who's house it is gets to choose dinner as a treat, by their parents.

My kids have started commenting on this, that they never get the option, if a friend is over the guest gets to choose, if they are a guest in someone else's house, their friend gets to choose, and the rest of the time I decide meal.

AIBU to let the guest choose? Or should I allow my kids to decide on dinner time when guest is over? What do you do?

seriously - this bothers you enough to start a thread!

I don't have a set rule at all and I wouldn't even ask my kids 'who chose pudding' at their mates houses - how odd¬

Hmm, I would start letting them have limited choice, so between two options are you prepared to cook a couple of nights a week. Or have that one night a week they can help you plan and prepare a meal, it might be a good way to get them interested in cooking/prep...

Saturday my dc choose tea, But I would allow the quest to have the choice :)

TBH i don't give a monkey's whether a visiting child likes what's on the menu
i've had too many experiences with kids refusing a "safe" food because it's "the wrong sort of cheese and tomato pizza"

they always fill up with pudding, which is invariably welcomed with open arms (and mouths) .

dd1 gets a bit of input when i plan the menu for the online shop.

I usually allow the guest to choose - well actually I usually discuss with parent, guest and my DS something they both like before the visit.

My DS usually suggests pizza and salad and so far most children have liked this.

AFAIK this happens when DS visits others as well.

TBH rightly or wrongly I make more a deal about letting the guest choose if I know they're fussy. Mainly because I hate wasting food and hate nothing more than making an effort for guests when they refuse to eat it or eat 2 mouthfuls.

I do not give pudding here.

I think if your children are correct then they should choose when guests are here if your prepared for them not to eat it and comments about them going home hungry!

If your friends children get to choose when there's a guest, then you should let your children choose too.

we give two options to guests.

mine kind of do choose dinner sometimes in that -mummy can we have spaghetti bolognaise this week and if im shopping they help.

Just let your kids choose occasionally when you don't have guests.

It bothers my kids enough for me to start a thread - 'when do we get to be the guest?' was the question, not arsey by them but just got me thinking.

Good idea re choices a couple of nights a week.

The thing is I don't have a meal plan. I have ingredients in the house, I walk in from work, I open the fridge, and think 'ooh i fancy that' and cook that. The kids then walk in ask what's for dinner, I say, and normally get 'cool' and they wander off.

Let your children choose at home sometimes.

Think what I'll start doing is get my dc to choose the two guests choices, and then let them offer those to the guests.

We normally have their friends over for dinner once/twice a week.

You dont ever ask your DC what they would like for dinner?
How odd!
And honestly it does seem quite miserable to never choose what you actually have to eat...

It does seem a bit mean if they never get any input.

When you are going to the supermarket you could ask them what sorts of things they'd like you to get in, even if you don't explicitly plan meals for specific days you have to buy piza or sausages or mince for bolognese or whatever.

You have rules for this kind of shit? Blimey.

YANBU to let the guest choose, but I let my dc choose when they have a guest because I want to teach them to be a good host. Now they are older they can ask their friends if there's anything they don't like and they can think about what their friends would enjoy to help me plan.

You have found a good solution by the sounds of it.

I/DH choose. Except on their birthday.

Dinner is something that goes on the table and polite guests eat.

I never knew there were dinner choosing rules. something else I've been doing wrong all these years

I normally cook something 'fun' like 'make your own pizza' or fajhita's, something they can make themselves normally keeps the dcs & guest happy.
Wouldn't bother with rules tbh, just make the evening fun

I did let my children choose what they wanted to eat sometimes though.

See regarding the shopping I know what my kids like, so there's always ingredients for curry, roast, pizza, fish, spag boug, chilli etc. I just choose what meals are given.

When I am going shopping they will ask me to get something for their lunch box, or a particular cereal for breakfast etc, and if there's any snacks they want in the cupboard. So they do get input to what's in the cupboards.

I just choose dinner.

We don't plan ahead much but discuss it between us, whoever is at home. Obviously it depends what we have in on the night. The DCs also help me choose stuff when we're shopping. Child guests - I discuss choices in advance with their parents, we usually have pasta with lots of things in dishes to have with it, they all enjoy passing the serving dishes around and talking about who likes what.

I remember the feeling of 'when do I get to be the guest?'.
When my cousins came round to ours they could play with whatever they wanted, because they were the guests. When we went to theirs, they could play with whatever they wanted because they were their toys, not mine. Still makes me cross to think of it. If your DC's friends don't let them choose when they go to their houses, then let your DC's choose for their friends when they're at yours. If they're good friends, and they eat together often, they'll take each other's preferences into account anyway, won't they?
Nothing wrong with asking your DCs 'what do you want for tea tomorrow- remember X doesn't like tomatoes?' Is there?

I would let the guest choose, I thought that was standard. But looks like times have changed in the last hmmmf years, let them be the choosers. Like the idea they select a couple of options for the guest to choose from - all sounds very civilised. Don't go telling me they are 3yo's or something next though

Yes, it is unfair to your kids. Let them choose; if guests don't like it they can have a bowl of cereal. Why would you give visiting kids more respect than your own children?