Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

3yo DS in "girls" locker room

47 replies

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 24/06/2012 19:29

I've started taking 3yo DS swimming at our local YMCA when they open up half the pool to family swim time. Woman at the desk said as he's under 4 I can take him into the girls locker room (we're in America), I didn't even know there was a separate "family" one.

Never had a problem until last week when we went at the same time as a few swimming lessons. After our swim we were getting changed and two mums and their daughters (not aged more than 5/6) shrieked when they came round the corner and saw my DS, hurried the girls back to the showers which are seperated from the changing area saying things like "dOnt take your costumes off, shower with your clothes off, we'll all have showers at home" and responding when the girls asked why with "there's a boy in the changing room".

DS is quite tall but the way he was acting was clearly young - but I said to the mum that he was three, pointed out the sign that said boys under 4 could be in there and she gave me AND HIM a filthy look and said "I'm just pointing it out." DS picked up on it, thought he'd dOne something wrong

AIBU to be really cross about this? The girls didn't look bothered, DS certainly wasn't bothered about getting changed in front of anyone and anyway we were nearly finished and would have been out the door by the time they'd had their showers (which you can't see from the changing area).

I thought it was just sad and unnecessary considering the ages of the children, but maybe I'm being insensitive?

Obviously we'll use the family locker rooms from now on

OP posts:
AThingInYourLife · 24/06/2012 19:31

He's 3. They are crazy.

RillaBlythe · 24/06/2012 19:32

Bloody mental.

JumpingThroughHoops · 24/06/2012 19:32

America? nuff said

Kewcumber · 24/06/2012 19:33

He's 3. They are crazy.

Should be a simple thread Grin

BikeRunSki · 24/06/2012 19:34

Sad and unnecessary. The policy at my pool in the uk is the children may use the opposite sex changing room with their parents until they are 8.

StrawberryMojito · 24/06/2012 19:35

Their problem not yours. Silly women.

Noqontrol · 24/06/2012 19:35

The women sound crazy. Of course you're not unreasonable, he's 3. Bizarre behaviour.

AdventuresWithVoles · 24/06/2012 19:37

Ditto. But sad they are putting you in this position.

Dprince · 24/06/2012 19:37

Well he is only 3. Poor thing, bet he felt awful.
Although I don't get why you are still upset a week later.

Bunnyjo · 24/06/2012 19:37

Those women sound utterly bonkers; he's 3yo, FFS! Where I live in the UK, boys up to the age of 8 can use, and shower in, female changing rooms - that seems far more sensible to me.

lovebunny · 24/06/2012 19:39

i hate it when mothers take their sons into changing rooms. when they're out of arms, they're too old.

berri · 24/06/2012 19:42

How ridiculous, but I know how you feel - we moved to America a year ago and I used to get the most filthy looks when I (v quickly!) whipped his sandy swimming shorts off at the beach so he could get clean pants on which weren't full of sand.

They are mental about kids nudity over here. My DS is 3 and there is no way he could get changed anywhere other than with me.

ShellyBoobs · 24/06/2012 19:42

The gym I and OH use has a 6 y/o rule for opposite sex DCs in changing rooms.

I think even that's too young really - are all 7 yo's capable of changing alone? I actually thought that the age rule was some misguided effort to protect the children from 'being ogled by perverts' that some people seem to think are around every corner rather than to stop DCs looking at naked members of the opposite sex?

I'm Shock that anyone would give a second thought to a 3yo being in the 'wrong' changing room.

Bizarre.

LucieMay · 24/06/2012 19:44

Our swimming baths doesn't even have separate changing rooms! Just one unisex one!

PelvicFloorOfSteel · 24/06/2012 19:45

So a 4yo would have to go to a changing room by themselves? Sad I wouldn't take my 4yo swimming there.

comptoir · 24/06/2012 19:49

ridiculous, YANBU - our rule is under 7s. Although I'd balk a bit at changing in front of boys I don't know who are nearly 8. perhaps that's just because my kids are younger and that seems grown up to me.

SirSugar · 24/06/2012 19:50

Were they part of the Duggar family?

ToryLovell · 24/06/2012 19:51

LucieMay - surely you have separate cubicles though?

OP they WBU

fullofregrets · 24/06/2012 19:53

What should we do then lovebunny?

Should we go in the mens' or once they're 18 months should they go in on their own?
If there isn't any family changing available what else are mothers with small boys meant to do?

minceorotherwise · 24/06/2012 19:53

Lovebunny? What age is out of arms? And how do you suggest this child manages to get themselves changed? All alone, with strangers, lockers etc etc ?

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 24/06/2012 19:54

This happened to me when my son was 2.
I was waiting in the back room of a church hall whilst DD was having a ballet class.
A woman came in with her DD and clicked her fecking fingers at me and told me to take him out.

I didnt.
Stupid cow.

pumpkinsweetie · 24/06/2012 19:54

Omg what Loons, he is a 3 year old little boy not some 30 yo man from mars-only in AmericaGrin

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 24/06/2012 19:55

Out of arms?
Like my two year old?
Dont be stupid. He cant take his own clothes off yet, how the hell is he supposed to get ready for swimming.

BikeRunSki · 24/06/2012 19:56

I was about to say the same as fullofregrets.

curiositykitten · 24/06/2012 19:57

Ridiculous, as is the 'four years old' rule. Is a four year old honestly expected to go into a different changing room and sort themselves out?

Swipe left for the next trending thread