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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go seriously mad if he fails?

58 replies

butwhatif · 23/06/2012 00:10

Husband has no driving licence but can drive. I've been harrassing him for years to do his test. last year we bought him a car and he said he would do it now. insurance due for renewal and he still hasnt done it. So 2 weeks ago I entered him for his theory test and told him when it was. He told me he was going to fail it.I havent seen him practising for it but when I ask him he says hes done "a bit". which to me reads as "none". his test is tomorrow.

I dont know why he is doing this- I've told him I can not afford the renewal at learner rate, ignoring the point about driving without a valid license. He knows we cannot afford for him not to go to work but he has a "it wont happen to me attitide". What is he trying to prove. I've never known anyone fail the theory test but the hazard bit has to be practised so I think he might.

Was I unreasonable to force this in the first place? I'm going to be so angry if he fails because I'll feel like hes done it on purpose to prove some point...

OP posts:
ThisIsAUsername · 23/06/2012 00:13

So let him fail and sell the car. He obviously doesn't want to do it, you can't afford to renew, it's a no brainer. Let him do it when he wants to and is ready to, and then let him buy and insure his own car.

Softlysoftly · 23/06/2012 00:14

Sorry is he driving with no driving license and is therefore uninsured and hasn't proven he "can" drive?

YABU not to have left the law breaking prick if so.

If not then YAnbu as he should have revised.

squeakytoy · 23/06/2012 00:14

so are you saying your husband is an unlicenced driver who is driving around in a car uninsured or have I read this wrong?

ThisIsAUsername · 23/06/2012 00:16

Urgh, just reread it. So is he driving around (presumably unsupervised at all times) as a 'learner'? Does he even have a provisional licence?

NatashaBee · 23/06/2012 00:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thenightsky · 23/06/2012 00:22

I'm assuming you have a licence OP and have been sitting beside him for years whilst he wears L plates.

What a hassle for you Sad

Perhaps you should stop doing the driving/playing taxi for him. He might get his act together and learn/pass test.

izzyizin · 23/06/2012 00:25

If he's driving around solo without full licence, in the event of an accident his insurance will be invalid.

If he gets pulled for driving without a licence, he'll be fined and may be banned from driving before he's taken a test.

Sounds as if his guardian angel has been working overtime and is a due for break.

Go on, make my day. Tell us he's planning to drive unaccompanied by a qualified driver and without L plates to take his theory test...

But please don't tell us he drives unaccompanied with your dc as passengers.

ilovesooty · 23/06/2012 00:28

I hope he isn't driving uninsured. People who do that should never be allowed to drive again.

ShullBit · 23/06/2012 00:28

If he has a load of driving experience, I would think that would help him with the hazard perception. I did use practice ones myself, and passed, but it was only truly when I was driving that I really saw all around me the possible dangers.

If he has been driving without a licence, then that is not acceptable. If he fails, it's simple. Sell the car and don't renew the insurance.

ErikNorseman · 23/06/2012 06:37

I think you are saying that he drives anyway, is that right? In that case your insurance is invalid, you are both breaking the law, and you are a pair of bloody idiots.

Nagoo · 23/06/2012 06:43

OP come back and explain properly.

Bagofholly · 23/06/2012 07:49

Your husband is, and has been, driving without insurance, and without a licence, for years. He should be deeply ashamed. Do you allow your children in the car with him too?
I can't get over that you're fretting about whether you should have put him in for a theory test - you're married to an irresponsible law breaking, dangerous prick, and youve been going along with it for years. Disgraceful. Seriously bad.

gettingeasier · 23/06/2012 07:55

"ignoring the point of driving without a valid license"

I normally remain fairly mild mannered but jesus christ , your DH has been driving around for years without bothering to take the test ?

Unbelievable. You both sound like charming members of society.

Tee2072 · 23/06/2012 07:58
Hmm
gettingeasier · 23/06/2012 08:05

I bet this will be one where the OP realises that actually putting something she has long since accepted as ok on a public forum and seeing oh dear its not ok so she wont be back

runnindownadream · 23/06/2012 08:08

If he's driving round on a provisional licence unaccompanied then Yanbu to force the issue. He's uninsured for a start (and if they think he's qualified you've given them misleading info) and breaking the law on several counts.

I don't think I could have supported him doing this in the first place tbh.

LurkingAndLearningForNow · 23/06/2012 08:11
Biscuit
RealityIsNOTWarren · 23/06/2012 08:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoingTheBestICan · 23/06/2012 08:15

People like your dh make me sick,me youngest brother had a bad car crash last weekend,an uninsured,disqualified driver crashed into him and subsequently wrote his car off.
He now has no car as he is waiting for his insurance company to sort out a hire car for him and he is in constant pain with his back which is no good for him as he is a tree surgeon.
He should not be on the road at all unless he has a full licence.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 23/06/2012 08:17

He is driving without a license?

I wonder if I e-mailed this thread to the police, whether they could get an IP address from MN and trace your DH and arrest him?
People like him - and you for turning a blind eye - are the reason that my insurance premiums are so high.

Not to mention the number of people who are killed and injured on the roads each year by unlicensed and uninsured drivers. Angry

Callisto · 23/06/2012 08:22

I am staggered that you are so blase about your husband driving with no licence that you have posted about it on here. If I could find out who you are I would report your husband to the police.

ChocolateTeacup · 23/06/2012 08:28

Ok, assuming here he has a provisional licence and you know he can drive as you or a qualified driver is always in the car with him when he is behind the wheel.

  1. He is deliberately going to fail it as he didn't want to do it

Therefore, simply tell him until such time that he gets off his lazy behind and passes his driving test you will no longer be putting him on the insurance

If you cannot afford to have and supervise a learner driver then he will have to not drive at all and learn where the nearest bus stop is.

gatheringlilacs · 23/06/2012 08:36

Is your marriage OK other than this? I'm asking because I suspect that a dh who doesn't listen to you about something as serious as this (and it is serious) may well be ... difficult in other areas.

Also the fact that you have learned to normalise the situation suggests he is determining a lot of your (communal and personal) reality.

Other people have repsonded to the main thrust of your post but, since you're here, I'll just ask that question.

Dprince · 23/06/2012 08:38

I read this as he is driving with out a license, you are worried if he get caught he will loose his job and he doesn't care. What a catch.
Is the op committing an offense? As she has put him on insurance knowing he is driving without a license. Do you have kids? Do you let him drive with them in the car, do you or dh not care about other people and kids on the road?

Pickgo · 23/06/2012 08:43

If he runs someone down and they are injured and needed anything more than bog standard nhs care..... then if he is uninsured they won't be able o claim to get it.

So.... your DH would have wrecked someone's life with absolutely no way to compensate or help them.

Yeah don't bother with the insurance or test, just keep driving, after all he's got to get to work and there's no other transport or options.

FFS