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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go seriously mad if he fails?

58 replies

butwhatif · 23/06/2012 00:10

Husband has no driving licence but can drive. I've been harrassing him for years to do his test. last year we bought him a car and he said he would do it now. insurance due for renewal and he still hasnt done it. So 2 weeks ago I entered him for his theory test and told him when it was. He told me he was going to fail it.I havent seen him practising for it but when I ask him he says hes done "a bit". which to me reads as "none". his test is tomorrow.

I dont know why he is doing this- I've told him I can not afford the renewal at learner rate, ignoring the point about driving without a valid license. He knows we cannot afford for him not to go to work but he has a "it wont happen to me attitide". What is he trying to prove. I've never known anyone fail the theory test but the hazard bit has to be practised so I think he might.

Was I unreasonable to force this in the first place? I'm going to be so angry if he fails because I'll feel like hes done it on purpose to prove some point...

OP posts:
marriedinwhite · 23/06/2012 08:43

You are being unreasonable if you have facilitated him driving unsupervised without a licence and without valid insurance. If that is so it is quite sickening that you are asking if you are being unreasonable to harass him into taking a driving test.

poppy283 · 23/06/2012 08:44

Can I please add that the hazard perception part of the theory test is (unless they've changed it again the the last 2 year's) a bitch.

You are penalised for clicking 'wrong' so it's more of a test if your mouse skills than your hazard perception. Don't assume it's straightforward.

Echo all other posters re uninsured and unlicensed driving, totally unreasonable!

poppy283 · 23/06/2012 08:44

Years not year's!

Thankgodforcaffeine · 23/06/2012 09:21

Astounding. Just astounding.

skateboarder · 23/06/2012 09:27

If your dh is driving without a licence and you are aware of this, you should be ashamed if yourself too.

ErikNorseman · 23/06/2012 09:30

If op is knowingly allowing him to drive her car uninsured then she is also liable in the law. What a mess.

Sallyingforth · 23/06/2012 09:56

OP this is appalling. The insurance is invalid and if you signed it yourself you are also comitting an offence by allowing him to drive.
This is SO YANBU that I find it hard to believe.

localmum · 23/06/2012 10:01

A friend of mine was killed by an unlicensed, uninsured driver. Apparantly it was a middleaged man who had been driving without licence/insurance for years.

Completely immoral and unacceptable.

tiggytape · 23/06/2012 10:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tabulahrasa · 23/06/2012 10:19

If he's driving by himself without a full license then it doesn't matter whether he's insured or not - his insurance is invalid as he doesn't have a license.

If he was caught he'd be charged for driving without a license and insurance anyway.

Unless of course a licenced driver is with him, but then how does it affect him working?

Paiviaso · 23/06/2012 10:31

OP I also read this as your DH is driving to work everyday in a car for which he is not licenced to drive, and is therefore driving uninsured (because his learner's insurance will be invalid in this situation).

This so so irresponsible I don't even know what to say.

If you husband wont take the test, then don't renew his insurance, and sell the car. HE SHOULD NOT BE DRIVING IT. If he does drive it, the only right thing to do is report him.

Dprince · 23/06/2012 10:33

Get the feeling the OP doesn't have the halls to come back.
Wonder why?

Pickgo · 23/06/2012 12:56

If I were you I wouldn't be worrying about money and insurance. No wonder he doesn't care about passing. You are happy to turn a blind eye so why should he bother?

How old do you think he then tiggytape? Surely it's HIS responsibility primarily?

FFS

Dprince · 23/06/2012 13:29

but pick if she is insuring him knowing this, she is committing an offense. She can only control her own actions not the dh. Is she is going to be happy to be caught out that's up to her. She can keep herself in the clear. He can do want he wants.
She is facilitating and enabling him. They are both wrong.

Empusa · 23/06/2012 13:35

"If he's driving by himself without a full license then it doesn't matter whether he's insured or not - his insurance is invalid as he doesn't have a license."

Quite! Surely the OP is committing an offence by knowingly lying to the insurance and allowing him to drive? I mean, the insurance would have to be in her name ditto the car?

Empusa · 23/06/2012 13:55

Curious, as the OP has put her DH on the insurance knowing he is driving alone illegally, I assume this means the insurance is invalid for both of them?

Thumbwitch · 23/06/2012 13:57

Your DH is breaking the law. You are probably as guilty as him by helping him to do so.

He is an arrogant idiot if he thinks what he is doing is ok - you should stop him from driving immediately if he doesn't take and pass the test.

maddening · 23/06/2012 14:10

what are you worried about the cost of insurance for if he is driving illegally anyway - the insurance you have paid for is worth sweet fa if the is no qualified driver next to him.

Bagofholly · 23/06/2012 14:12

Did he pass then? I'd be surprised as he doesn't sound like the sharpest tool in the shed...

Hopefullyrecovering · 23/06/2012 14:15

Nowhere does the OP explicitly state that her DH is driving alone and illegally.

There is one sentence which is hinting at illegal driving though, which is -

'He knows we cannot afford for him not to go to work but he has a "it wont happen to me attitide".'

Do you mean that you are driving him to work and that his attitude is that he is too arrogant to revise for his test? Or do you mean that he is driving illegally and he is so arrogant that he thinks he won't get caught? Because both are possible from what you have said.

If he is driving illegally then words really do fail me.

Thumbwitch · 23/06/2012 14:33

"I've told him I can not afford the renewal at learner rate, ignoring the point about driving without a valid license. "

Isn't that explicit though? It strongly suggests to me that he is driving without a valid licence and without a licensed driver beside him.

gettingeasier · 23/06/2012 16:19

I have come back to see if the OP returned and as predicted not a peep.

So sorry for those who have been affected by selfish shits driving around illegally , I had no idea it was so common place. Theres something about any lies and deceit around cars/driving I find repugnant

DamselInTornDress · 23/06/2012 16:24

Has OP gone fishing?

rhondajean · 23/06/2012 16:38

You can get learner insurance (giving them the benefit of the doubt until proved wrong) but he still can never drive alone with it.

rhondajean · 23/06/2012 16:38

If he is doing his theory he has to have a provisional.

He is insured.

He just needs someone to sit with him. It appears this is what is missing.

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