Would you tell your dc that their partner is ugly?

[Magneto]

I think the implied message is "you are too good for them" but seriously, to make horrid remarks about their looks seems like overstepping the mark in any context IMO.

No, never. Totally overstepping the mark!

Christ like looks are so fucking important in the grand scheme of things. Looks are not going to keep a relationship going for 40 years!

I take the view that I have raised my DSs well, so I respect their choices. I don't impose my aesthetics on them.

And anyway, define "ugly".

No because as a parent you are part of the welcoming party rather than the selection committee.

Only if they brought a cyclops home.

No.

Because I know that a sense of humour, honesty and not being a selfish git is much more important than looking hot.

And so many 'hot' people don't look good in 15 yrs time. Unless they are super rich and pay people lots of money to make them look fab.

No.

I hope I wouldn't. You can't help your features.

I might comment on (absence of) grooming (if it was dreadful) though, as that also reveals attitude.

One of my DNs was going to a school disco when he was about nine and some of the children in his class decided they should all have dates ( ). I knew there was a little girl in his class who adored him so I asked my sister if she had asked my DN to go with her. My sister looked appalled and basically said she wasn't good enough. Needless to say, I told her I thought her attitude was shameful.

My mum made snide remarks about an old boyfriend's looks. I don't remember her saying much about my current DP but maybe that's because she knows we're in a serious relationship. I don't think it's an appropriate thing to say unless his clothes are falling to pieces and he smells like he's been living in a bin...

Attraction is subjective (as the thread on weird crushes shows!)

If we all fancied the same type of looks

1. there would be no natural variation in the species and eventually we'd all be inbred
2. we'd all be fighting over the same people

So I would bite my tongue HUGELY - it's really insulting to tell someone you don't like their choice based on looks, they might think the person is sex on legs

No because as a parent you are part of the welcoming party rather than the selection committee.

Good one!

It would be a total nonsense thing to say. Obviously if they're together they find each other attractive.

My mother did comment once that I always seemed to fancy the tall skinny ones with big noses. I just love a roman nose..... yummmmmmm

no, because I'm not a total dick-face

Never in a million years! I wouldn't comment adversely on anyone's looks, and if I overhear someone slagging off another person on the basis of their physical appearance I pull them up about it (usually with a remark along the lines of "who voted you Mr/Mrs/Miss Most-Gorgeous 2012?")

No, how rude! As someone said above (apologies, on phone so can't scroll up to see who!) looks do not keep a relationship going. Even if they did, beauty is in the eye of the beholder surely?!

Think it says more about the person commenting tbh. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all.

There's a lid for every pot, as they say I can't see why my sister finds her DP attractive at all, but I wouldn't tell her. That is not purely on his looks though

i take in the 'in-laws' have commented on you to thier offspring?
In case you hadnt noticed all sane people wouldnt, so if they have, rise above it.... they are going to be part of your life for a long time (hopefully) so be nice

No, never. My Mum made it clear when I first got together with dh that she thought I could do better in the looks department. I thought she was being a bitch and I told her so. And anyway, my DH is gorgeous so she had no idea what she was talking about. Now she loves him loads though and thinks he's a great SIL.

No.

no!!! thats horrible

No, never, only a fucking shallow moron would do do.

My mum used to do it to me all the time . I have never once done it to my DDs as a result - it's not up to me to decide who or what they find attractive. By the same token I have NEVER mentioned it if I think their boyfriends are particularly good-looking (which some of them have been), because it is 'wrong' apparently.

I am just about allowed to say that Harry Styles is cute (but got warned off about ever saying 'If I was 17...' ) and we are allowed to share the same taste in TV/Hollywood DILFs (DD1's choice of term) but that is it. Most of the time though I just 'can't see it' - RPatz? Er, no thanks.

No, of course not - Mrs Trellis has it covered at start of thread -

"because as a parent you're part of the welcoming party, not the selection committee"

Anything else is so daytime TV (forget his name just now - you know though, the common should-know-better who goads the unfortunates)

< wonders whether that breaks talk guidelines - possibly not as he's not a poster, and I've also conveniently forgotten his name >