to think that gender selection should be legalised in the uk?

[ChocolateBiscuitCake]

I have three glorious boys. I would love to have a girl as well.

I really don't understand why PGD for gender selection is illegal in the UK. I completely accept that it should not be funded through the nhs, but can not see why couples can not pay privately.

You are not choosing eye colour etc, simply the gender of your child to balance your family dynamic.

If ivf couples are allowed to pick/choose/freeze embryos, why is PGD illegal?

Aibu to think that it should be legal in this country? I would not be trying to create a 'superior race', just balance our family with a girl - a daughter for me and DH and a sister for my sons.

Please don't tell me what to think or to do.

Ledkr - thank you for your honesty.

Because you have the option of having a child without intervention. There are lots of people that aren't that lucky.

For gay or infertile couples, interventions are their only chance of becoming parents. They are in a situation that is a million miles away from being parents to three children already with an easy way to have a fourth if they want.

It should not be made legal. Because of some other cultures wanting boys instead of girls.

My last post in response to northern lurker.

It won't be legalised because it treats a DC like a commodity.
The parents get their house, have their perfect wedding and then 'tough luck' they have to put up with nature! It might come to a shock to some that not everything is under their control.

Basically everything exoticfruits said.

On a lighter note:

Celebrity babies - sex bias?

Madonna
1 girl, 1 boy, 1 adopted boy

Elton John
1 boy

Gwyneth Paltrow
1 girl, 1 boy

Tom Cruise
1 adopted girl, 1 adopted boy, 1 girl

Bruce Willis
4 girls

Meryl Streep
1 boy, 3 girls

Annette Bening
2 boys, 2 girls

Natasha Mcelhone
3 boys

Penelope Cruz

Rachel Weisz
1 boy

Whatserhame from Desperate Housewives
2 girls

Myleene
2 girls

Susan Sarandon
1 girl, 2 boys

Ricahrd Gere
1 boy

Matt Damon
3 girls

Catherine Zeta Jones
1 boy, 1 girl

Johnny Depp
1 boy, 1 girl

Goldie Hawn
2 boys, 1 girl

Gewn Stefani
2 boys

The Beckhams
3 boys, 1 girl

The Olivers
3 girls, 1 boy

Orlando Bloom
1 boy

Sigourney Weaver
1 girl

Julia Roberts
1 girl, 2 boys

Debra Winger
2 boys

Mary Louise Parker
1 boy, 1 adopted girl

I make that:

Adopted - 2 girl, 2 boys

birth children Girls - 29, Boys - 27.

That's honestly a completely random selection. Really suggests to me there is no widespread gender selection going on!

I think I agree with the things wacka and ledkr have said.

Two delicious DS and two wonderful DSS in my life. They have brought much joy, noise and delight to us. I would love to have a DD. None of those princess dreams for me though. I'm way arsey, bossy and tomboy-y still. Any DD of ours, in our household would be feisty.

I would like another one and I'd like a DD as well as dem boys in my life. I'm on the fence and not sure whether I'd ever be able to get my head around it if we could afford of it. I guess our lack of millions will mean I'll never really have to consider it.

Respect NorthernLurker

Missed the OP's riposte. Well look - that was some honest advice for me. You will not find a clinic in this country which will carry out your shabby little plan so you might as well forget it. You asked for opinions - that's mine, forget about it, don't try and do it and understand that you're wrong. I'm sorry if that isn't the supportive 'do what's right for you hun' nonsense you hoped for.

lolol @ Northern's excellent research

At least the celebrities appear to have taken my suggestion-which has been ignored-adopt-there are plenty of older DCs available. Problem solved if it bothers you that much.

Not so excellent - forgot to add some to my running total and it's actually 30 boys to 29 girls - which just makes the point even more firmly Penelope Cruz has one boy btw.

Bit about how little I had to google.........

YABU

Part of knowimg that you are ready for another child is being happy with whatever comes your way.

They could.and should spend the money involved with picking what gender your baby is on working out how to fix the people that are allready here on the planet

I can't imagine a group that wouldn't be offended by gender selection tbh.

Those of us who believe that the differences between the sexes are, beyond the reproductive bit, minimal.

Those who think boys and girls, men and women have different qualities but see the value in both (and therefore wouldn't want to see an imbalance)

Prolifers

Ummm, pretty much everyone I should think bar the terminally shallow.

for Northern. I reckon you need a lie down after that!

And OP - don't ask for opinions and then tell people you don't want them. It's not really done, dontcha know?

Picking up on something that has been mentioned a few times- is there really any truth to the idea that the reason they don't tell you the gender of the baby at the 20 week scan in some areas is because in some cultures (eg Indian) a girl baby would be aborted? This is something I hear a lot in our area but I just can't believe it's true- for one, surely it is incredibly difficult to have an abortion on demand in the UK past 20 weeks to a healthy foetus?

Also, OP YABU- there is so much more to a child than gender. In our family on DH's side all the grandkids are girls- 6 of them! They are each wonderful and unique.

OP why do you think you need a girl to make your family "balanced"? What do you think you are missing by having boys?

I think it should be allowed.

There are so many "unnatural" medical advances which we now take for granted which change the makeup of the population as a whole and demographics and so many things which mess up the ecosystem and so forth. Nature tends to adapt and find its own equilibrium.

I think it is better for people to be able to choose to have the gender they specifically desire rather than bringing an unwanted/second best child into the world or have numerous of a certain gender until they can get their "desired" gender. But it should obviously be at their own cost and not available on the NHS.

So, like, if I've just ALWAYS wanted a child with curly hair, I should be able to use selection techniques to get one too, right? Cos otherwise it's not fair- I mean I've just always pictured us bonding over untangling our hair together, buying frizz-ease together... And I mean don't get me wrong, I love my straight haired kids and all that but I just feel I have the right to parent a curly haired child. Better than bringing any more unwanted straight-haired kids into the world, right?

quickhide yes it's true. It was true when I lived in a large city in the W Midlands. They wouldn't tell you the sex of the baby unless you were paying for a private scan. And yes, I know several people who had late terminations because the babies were girls.

Not all doctors respect the stringency of the abortion laws. Especially if they're from the same culture as those wishing to get rid of a girl.

@ quickhide!

Someone upthread mentioned about how people would argue that it should be done because they felt it was affecting their mental health not having the sex of child they wanted. I wonder how long it is before someone actually does that?

After all, a very loose precedent has been set. Plastic surgery is done purely on MH grounds (as it should be for some people), caesarians are done purely on MH grounds (as they should be for some people). If you take the argument to the nth degree then I bet it won't be long before some NHS trust is up before the European Court of Human Rights for not allowing someone the sex of choice.

It's an odd world!

Firstly, YABVU, gender selection for anything other than medical, diease preventing reasons is totally unjustifiable

Secondly It is possible to become pregnant with a girl if I choose to go down the IVF route. why do you think this? We were offered ivf after DHs chemo and it was explicitly stated at the very begining there could be no possibility of sex selection

Thirdly, I think this was asked previously but Ive not seen an answer, what happens if you get a girl who wants short hair, jeans, plays football and is gay? Will she be a disappointment? What if one of your boys is gay? Loves shopping? Will that make him better?

Um, fullofregrets one of your reasons for not wanting a boy is not wanting to be a MIL?

My MIL is great. She brought up the amazing man I love and no doubt installed in him all the things that make him lovely (he is 50-50 on all domestic stuff or better than me; he loves the fact I'm a brainy nerd and have a good career; he is the most loving dad who has done at least half of all nappy changes etc). So I think: respect, what an incredible human being my MIL created. So what's bad about that relationship?

It took us three years to have DS. I'd have been glad of either sex. Now I have DS, I'd love another child but I just want "them" whoever they might be.

I don't actually think gender selection would make people happier overall. I think if you can't find joy in the child you get, gender selection is not the problem.