This requires a bit of background information so here goes. My dad was a terrible father. He never lived with us for longer than 6 months at a time, would often disappear for a year or so and then turn up and live with us again. When he was living with us he quite often would get up one morning and tell my mum he didn't want us there anymore and so we would pack up and go and live with my nan and grandad for anywhere between a few days to months. My mum has plenty of issues of her own and so I view my nan and grandad (grandad died 7 years ago) as my parents.
My dad was never interested in Christmas with us when we were children. We would go to Nan and Grandads (we don't know my dads family at all because he never wanted us to) and actually bring him home a plate of dinner for him to microwave because he didn't like all the "family togetherness" stuff.
Anyway, fast forward to now. My sister and I are both in our 30s, both of us had a baby last year.
My dad lives with my 4 year old brother, he has custody of him because his mother is an alcoholic. My brother is undisciplined and is unpleasant to be around. My dad has only 1 topic of conversation; my brother. He thinks he is an expert in parenting now and is very patronising to my sister and I. When he visits he will say "look what brother can do now", "oh look, brother is doing this", "brother, why don't you tell everyone what you did today", "brother do you remember when you went to Asda, tell everyone about it" etc etc. Or we here what ailments brother has had, or that he is allowed out to play with 11 yr olds until 10 in the evening.
Now we get to Christmas day. My husbands parents are also divorced. This means we have to do 4 Christmas Days at somepoint during that week between Christmas and New Year's. We usually alternate my lot/his lot but this has to be somewhat flexible because it depends when the others in the family and make it.
My dad has this year decided that he wants my sister and I to spend Christmas Day at his. We don't want to. When we spend Christmas Day with my mum, for example, we also see my cousins, aunts and uncles etc and this is the same for when we see my husbands parents. With my dad, because he doesn't see his family, it will just be him and my brother.
My sister and I love Christmas Day and don't want it ruined by having to go to his. We have said that we will go there for the morning and have a nice brunch but he says this isn't good enough and that it's unfair because we have spent the day with the other parts of our family and that it's his turn. Am I unreasonable for not wanting to go? If not, what do I do? My sister and I have discussed all sorts of reasons we could tell him but actually I'm thinking I just tell him outright that I don't want to do it.
Thanks if you got this far!