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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you recognised RL self in another mumsnetter's post

86 replies

PatheticTrumpet · 21/06/2012 13:59

Wwyd?

Has this ever happened on here, I wonder?

If it has to you - what did you do?

Did you confront that person in RL?

Did you just keep quiet and post a few leading messages on mumsnet to make sure you were right?

Or was it just pure coincidence?

I'm just wondering tbh - cant say I've noticed anything about me in particular on here yet

OP posts:
Oppsididitagain · 21/06/2012 19:08

i think so many people have the same sort of issues it would be possible to think one poster could be 10 of your friends.

ive recived a fb message from a friend asking if a perticular poster was me it wasnt me and im astounded she thought it was (spelling much better than mine) however i didnt even say i used the site because i didnt want her then trawling to try and identify me.

i also thought one poster was my mum turns out it wasnt as she dosnt have a mobile or any mobile net device and was in rigby and pellor at the time of the thread being started. anyways im off to namechange

CanISawItOff · 21/06/2012 19:15

I recognise at least 2 people on mn from rl, half tempted to out them :o

I think I would rather someone pm me if they recognised me as I always appreciate having more friends!

IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 · 21/06/2012 19:17

I like to think that if someone knows who I am they will PM me (please)

catgirl1976 · 21/06/2012 19:22

I think if you knew / know me IRL you would recognise me on here

I think it may have happened once when I mentioned the names of my cats and another poster randomly posted "has lightbulb moment" which made me think they were referring to me and having just worked out who I was

But I could be being rather paranoid / thinking the world revolves around me a bit

ReportMeNow · 21/06/2012 19:34

Have a long running thread in another name and would be horrified if anyone in RL realised it was me and then did a back search - it would certainly be possible. Over the years I have name changed and occasionally distort some info. If anyone did recognise me I'd like a PM.

Admire the confidence of those who post profile pictures as I think they must be completely confident in who they are and make no apologies for their opinions. I'd like to be like that.

Inconceivable · 21/06/2012 19:50

Right. Have just namechanged!

When I just joined I read a story on here that could have possibly about me. It was very trivial and the OP received a bit of a slating as most people thought she was being unreasonable. I never said anything to her nor can I remember her user name.

I think I could have been identifiable under my previous name but I have never said anything that I would be ashamed of in real life (I think).

Have namechanged now though because someone mentioned hitting the headlines and everyone knowing everything about your life (was that referring to Riven?) Not that I expect that to happen, but better be safe than sorry.

noimnotreallyme · 21/06/2012 20:07

can anyone explane what happened with the papers please

FarrowAndBollock · 21/06/2012 20:19

I think one nosy backbiting mother at school may be on to me, so I name change often (and tweek details of children etc).

Another person I knew from another forum claims to know my writing style but not too bothered about her as unlikely to meet again anyhow.

CrapBag · 21/06/2012 20:21

I would hate to think someone on here may recognise me.

I use MN to vent and some of the things that my friends do that bug me, I wouldn't want them to know about and it is petty on my behalf but I would be mortified if they knew. If someone did recognise me I would like a PM then it would be a swift NC.

I NC for sensitive things that I want to talk about as there are some things I just don't want to discuss in RL and I like the anon on here.

EugenesAxe · 21/06/2012 20:32

LeoTheLate - just wanted to say I love that book!! Still read it to my DCs when I'm at my folks. It was one of mine but I'm kind of cool with them being there for now... the whole bookshelf is a wonderful memory lane!

Did you have The Chick and the Duckling? Loved that too.

On the subject of this thread, if anyone recognises me, please say.

ujjayi · 21/06/2012 20:38

I have been the subject of an AIBU thread. I was quite hurt that this particular person didn't raise the issue with me directly but decided not to "out" her or let her know that i knew she had posted since the general consensus was that she was being BU :o.

She didn't know I was also an MNer (in fact I only came on here after months of her making reference to MN - I'd never heard of it before then).

whojamaflip · 21/06/2012 20:45

I currently have 2 nn's I use - this one for normal day to day posting which I'm not too worried about RL knowing and another secret one which I use for more private stuff iykwim.

I know of one friend in RL and have pm'd her to let her know I'm spotted her. I also know there are another 4 or 5 mums from school who are on here but still haven't twigged who they are Hmm

SophieLeGiraffe · 21/06/2012 20:47

I recognised someone once. Not a friend but an acquaintance friend-of-a-friend type lady who I have met a few times. I was sure it was her due to the circumstances, checked her history, as you do, posted the same message I would always have done in that situation, then changed my name and made a point not to look for her messages so as to retain her right to anonymity. I didn't tell her as she was having a tough time, I don't know her well enough and she had built up a good support network with her name so I didn't want her to feel she needed to namechange and start again.

I actually want to namechange again, I don't like Sophie so much but can't think of anything better.

wannaBe · 21/06/2012 20:50

I was recognised in a shop once. Someone said "oh you're a mumsnetter aren't you?" Shock tbh I knew I was identifyable from information I'd posted about myself, but it didn't bother me that much since I didn't reveal all that much that was too personal iyswim.

I am a bit Hmm about this idea that people think they're anonymous here. In fact I wrote a blog post about it recently

\link{http://attheheartoftheopinion.blogspot.co.uk/2011/12/false-sense-of-anonymity-behind.html\here}

swearytramp · 21/06/2012 21:08

I think I've just been recognised on fb!! quite exciting actually. You know who you are. send me a sign...

confusedpixie · 21/06/2012 21:15

I've not been recognised or recognise anyone. Though I do know the nn's of the MNers I've met (obviously).

I know a few RL people I know who are on MN but I don't know their nn's. Not too fussed being honest either! I'm not fussed if anybody recognised me either, it's pretty easy to find out who I am but I don't say things on MN that I wouldn't say IRL, the only person who I may say something quite rude about but not repeat to them is my little sister, but she knows I do love her at the end of the day Wink

FoxyToughOtter · 21/06/2012 21:45

Oh this thread has scared the life out of me.

I joined MN because I was at my wits end with a certain situation. I got huge support and a few months later when everything escalated again MN saw me through it.

I didn't ever think about RL. But anyone who knows me would recognise me immediately from the information available. People still remember the story, even now, a year later.

I have name changed now.

MsVestibule · 21/06/2012 22:00

I would hate to have to name change. I feel as though this is "me", and not even my DH knows my NN. Hardly any of my friends know I'm a MNer, and as my life is fairly uneventful (in a good way, i.e. no dramas), are not likely to recognise me from what I post about my life/my opinions.

SimplySoo · 21/06/2012 22:20

I know one friend in RL who is on MN, wish I could work out who she is. I read a reply I was certain was her but I'll never know!I think we both respect each others privacy online.

mindgone · 21/06/2012 23:13

I really don't think I know anyone else who uses MN! Am amazed by so many people seeming to know each other! The only thing that did make me think, was an acquaintance on FB mentioned her DH! I think that's a giveaway for a MNer, but I haven't a clue who she is on here!

WorraLiberty · 21/06/2012 23:25

I don't know anyone in RL who uses MN and no-one apart from DH knows I use it either.

mumineedawee · 21/06/2012 23:50

It happened to me.

A while back a relative posted about parenting and complained about me, specifically how my darlings were a bad influence on her darling.

I lost the plot and ranted at her at a not so happy family gathering. I was so cross, that I couldn't hold back. Her dp was furious with her and I only came to my senses when he was rubbishing her for being the type of person who comes on sites like this.

It was horrible, and if I could, then I would take back what I said. It would have been alot more satisfying to watch her posts and even interact!

LadyofWinterfell · 22/06/2012 00:03

DD1's friend's Mum is on here, I found her by accident when i did a search on DD1's name!

I've never mentioned it, she has as much a right to vent in private as I do.

VivaLeBeaver · 22/06/2012 00:03

I used to be a teacher and recognised one of my 18yo pupils on here talking about me. She was a mum as well so I guess that's why she was on MN.

She was moaning about my lessons. Grin

I didn't tell her I'd recognised her, but I did read through all her posting history! Have forgotten her log in name now.

TwoLeftTrenchFeet · 22/06/2012 08:37

I've never recognized anyone but i have about half a dozen nn.I work with kids and parents in an unusual setting some of them are bound to be on here.