To not want pictures of my baby all over facebook??

[VIX1980]

im due to give birth anyday now, dp is total extrovert aswell as most of his family (his sister and brother alone have over 1000 friends each - not that they know them, they just had a competition to get the most friends )

anyway i said something the other night to dp about how i didnt want pictures of the baby on facebook as everyone was asking him to put pics up as soon as its born which i found strange, hes a bit weird and doesnt like sharing everything, unlike his family who enjoy posting pics of everything they do which is why there all hidden. so hell probably put 1 or 2 for close family instead of texting everyone individually, but his family are another story, his brother who hardly has spoke to me in 12 years is apparently paning on coming to visit me in hospital, i get he wants to meet his niece or nephew but i asked dp if hed mind leaving it till we got home and he went mad saying i was trying to exclude him, saying its easier for him to get the hospital than our house, its 20 mins here and 10 to hospital - i may not even be kept in hospital for all they know.

aibu to not want pics of a baby out there for all there stranger friends to see, i know i cant literally stop them from doing so but i have asked his mum and she was fine, although when we told her i was pregnant i also asked to not to post anything on facebook straight away as i hadnt told my stepdad yet and didnt want him finding out, she lasted a whole hour and 20 mins!

i may be being stupid and hormonal, i think its ok for myself and dp to do it, after all its our child but i always feel sorry when i see pics of babies put up by other people and wonder if the parents actually mind, or if theyve even asked if its ok?? is it just me?

I put pictures of my PFB on FB all the time.

(Because obviously everybody wants to see him )

But YANBU if you don't want too.

""Facebook also own any photos uploaded to it and can and will sell them to the media if you and your family are involved in any media-worthy story. Is very unpleasant."

That's not how the media get those images. The media (if it's not an open profile) contact friends of the person in question and they go on to the person's profile, download the pictures and sell them on. Very grubby, but not facebook's fault.

Oh, or they send out friend's requests to everyone on the target's friends list - just takes one person to accept and then they can grab all images set to be visable to friends of friends.

I would go NUTS at anyone putting pics of my kid on fb. I want any child of mine to be in control of their own image, as far as humanly possible. Once it gets on the internet you have lost control. Regardless of any security settings. You do not know if someone is going to copy it or post it elsewhere.

I don't get the obsession with having to post every second of your life publically. Privacy is important and undervalued.

FWIW, I try not to allow images of myself to end up on internet too.

So tell your family where to stick it, and if they want to see pictures, they'll have to get off their arse and visit, or you will send prints in your own time (realistically people don't sit and scan prints, so they tend to be preferable).

When I was first pregnant with PFB we told family before 12 wks but not friends. DH niece congratulated us on Facebook as soon as she knew.
Needless the say she was read the riot act by DH and post was removed before anyone saw it.
Move on a few months and first pic of PFB on Facebook was posted by her sister
One again riot act read. These girls are early twenties do hardly silly teenagers

YANBU. You need to make it really clear that you dont want pics to go on the internet. My ds was born very early and i sent picture messages from my phone to close family. Sil put them all on Facebook without asking, it was private photos, furious doesn't come close! he was in hospital and ill ffs! Why would you put pictures of other peoples children on the internet without asking?!. She took them down but has done it a few times since and our relationship has suffered because of this.

This is a tough one! I can see your point but if I tried to tell my family/friends that they would definitely think me mad and PFB, it should be your decision

I felt really sick and almost violated

Really agirl ? Really ? That's a little extreme

I am a facebook addict user and often post pics of my kids, but I also put some of them so only friends and family can see them.

I love seeing pics of other peoples kids and babies too.

I took pics of a load of the kids who came to my door on halloween (120)
I posted them on my FB but only for those whos children who came to my door could see, and my friend who had recently moved and was upset at missing the trick or treating.

I have to say though, your kids, your rules! YANBU!!

Yep im totally for it if its the parents etc, if i put a photo on then i know my privacy settings are as tight as possible (i only have really close friends and family on there, not like people who have everyone they ever went to school with and maybe never even spoke to), dp's family have people from all over the world who we have no idea about, all it takes is for 1 person to print of the photo and do whatever they want with it, so yes while people will see the baby when i go out, they wont be staring at him with a samera waiting to share that pic with thousands of strangers which is the difference, maybe thats the extreme example but thats how i think, i hate seeing pics of myself on facebook so certainly wouldnt like 1 of my child.

i think stopping the pictures before they happen is the way to go but its going to be hard, for example when mil or sil comes round and wants pics taken with the baby, ill have to get dp to take them with our camera and say ill post her the pics when developed, if she says put them on facebook ill bring it up that way that i dont like the thougt of pics everywhere and see how they react, to be honest though i couldnt care how they react, my child my rules as far as im concerned and thankfully dp is with me so wont have to argue my point.

Yanbu but it's almost impossible to control. I made the same decision because I feel that while I am happy for some images of me to be on fb, i know I have no control over them and I don't want to allow images of dd to circulate uncontrolled.

I have high security settings, only friends can see my page and pictures but that doesn't stop others posting pictures, their friends commenting and their friends seeing them.

I once posted a new profile picture for half a day before changing my mind. A few weeks later I googled myself (just did, bored!) and, on some obscure business contacts website, found my name and this picture. The 'security' is spurious.

What am I scared of on dd's behalf? Hard to say, no-one's going to be silly enough to post naked pictures. I just feel she should have some choice and ownership of her own image, not grow up to find she's been public property since birth.

Already there are pictures of dd on fb though, on public pages, because my sister and a friend have posted them. They are nice pictures. I hope the fact we aren't posting any and are mentioning this now and then will dissuade people from sharing too many but that is all we can do.