to not want my neighbour in my garden?

[nancerama]

A new neighbour moved in next door about 6 months ago. A couple of months ago she came round to discuss the lilac tree at the end of my garden as she was concerned it was overhanging the end of her garden. I told her that I was more than happy for her to lop off anything that was overhanging her garden if it was annoying her. in all honesty I'd rather it was left as it is, as it's a beautiful tree, but I know she has every right to take down anything overhanging her garden, and I wouldn't want to spoil her enjoyment of her garden.

Now that I've agreed to let her lop off the overhanging bits, she won't let it go. She has hired some landscape gardeners to transform her garden and has asked which days I am home so that I can let them into my garden to cut off some more tree! She claims that they need to cut branches off at the trunk for the good of the tree. I was so taken aback by this request initially that I just made some noncommittal noises. Since then she's asked several times, and each time I have said that I'm happy for her to take of anything that's overhanging, but that I don't want anyone entering my garden whether I'm home or not. She won't take no for an answer and every day she asks again. I don't want to fall out with a neighbour, but I really don't see why she thinks it's ok to send workmen to my house to do work that I don't feel is needed.

Am I being obstructive, or should she back off?

Tell her to do one.

Tell her to bugger off. It's your tree, in your garden.

You've been reasonable with her.

She should back off. Tell her in no uncertain terms that you do not wish to fall out with her, but that she is NOT lopping off more than is overhanging.

If you are there when the gardeners come, I would have a word with them about her claims that it is "for the good of the tree".

Tell her to do one. I'd actually put it in writing to protect myself so that she can't just do it and then afterwards say she misunderstood.

She is legally entitlked to lop of anything overhanging her garden and that is it, tell her that you will report her to the police for malicious damage of property if she steps foot in your garden and lops at your tree from your side.

Might be worth tree surgeons having a look under your supervision? Trees need regular maintenance to remain at their best.

She is BU though.

She could just cut of the overhang but it would be better for the tree to be pruned properly from the truck.

For the sake of the long term health of the tree i would let her get it done properly even if it ment letting them on to my property.

Tell her that you're not happy having the workmen in your garden, you don't want anything trimmed other than the bits that are overhanging her fence, and please don't ask again, because you're not going to change your mind and you find it frustrating to keep repeating yourself.

She should definitely back off, but since she's not taking the hint you have to tell her in so many words.

I forgot the best bit. Last week she asked me if I'd be at home on a certain day as the workmen needed access. I told her I'd be out (whilst frantically thinking of somewhere plausible to be for the day). "that's ok" she said "we'll just take the fence panel down instead". She seemed to think I was being dreadfully unhelpful when I told her I would be very unhappy if she allowed anyone access to my property without my permission.

She's a proper pain and relentless. We are trying to sell at the moment. Part of me thinks I should let her do as she likes as with any luck I'll never have to see her again. Part of me worries that I'll be stuck with a house I can't sell and a butchered tree in the garden.

Surely it would be much better to get it done properly, rather than her just hacking off bits? It would be better for the lilac, certainly...

I suspect she is also thinking that if she gets it done properly it will look better too. And she is probably right. And whilst you are completely right - you do not have to let her do this, I don't understand why you don't speak to the gardeners and ask them what they think the best thing to do with it is, and how much they would plan to take off.

She is nagging, and I am sure that is getting your back up, but at the same time you are coming across a bot stubborn and for no good reason? Unless there is a reason WHY you don't wwant her to get it done properly???

Say "Can't you take a hint?! I am being evasive because I don't wish to fall out about this, but it's not working....so let me just outline it for you in black and white - no workmen or gardeners are coming into my garden at any point to do anything to my tree. Please stop asking me. Ok?"

If she just loops off the overhang then you will have a butched tree.
If she is using proper gardeners/tree surgeons then they prune it properly.

If these so called specialists know anything, then they'd know that whilst it is in flower is not the time to be trimming back. It should be done at the end of the growing season.

Do you know anything about pruning lilacs? Have a read. Also is the border it hangs over her responsibility or yours?

We have a massive great tree growing in our neighbours garden which blocks out loads of light, scatters our patio, stinks of piss every March and God knows what else it's doing to the foundations of both houses. The house has been empty a decade and the owners live opposite but are deluded hoarders who do nothing to the house or garden. I have asked them several times over the last 6 years, in writing and in person and they do nothing. No amount of pruning on our side of the fence will stop it being a PITA.
On our other side, the neighbours have asked us to sort out an old apple tree that splats apples in their garden and we have done so, also letting in their gardener to trim their hedges from our side. It is just good neighbourliness and no skin off my nose.

So yeah, I'm sure it's a nice tree and all but I do have some sympathy for your neighbour. She's not really oppressing you is she?

Thanks everyone! The woman really is a proper pain. I don't think she means harm, but she comes across as socially awkward.

I guess it makes sense for me to work with her gardeners to negotiate with them. It would be foolish to not make full use of a tree surgeon to get the tree pruned properly for free. My fear is that too much will get taken off, so it's easier for me to dig my heels in. I do have a habit of kicking back against people who try to tell me what they think is best for me.

Probably best you arrange with them to have it done whilst you are there so that you can supervise and make sure they don't butcher it. If you leave them all to it you could come home one day & find they have been through the fence and there's not much left. Although she would be in the wrong you won't be able to do much about it once it's done.

manic - actually I thought late spring/early summer was the best time to prune lilacs?

What you do is give her a day you are in and tell her they may only prune in consultation with you and that you don't grant access to your garden unless you can supervise.

Not according to Silk's link. The buds for next year's flowers form before spring so it needs to be done once the plant has flowered.

It is, just as the blooms fade. If you prune late then you wont get any blooms next year as all the new buds will have been pruned.

If you have a dispute with your neighbour, you will have to disclose it when selling your house - which may make it harder to sell. So best not to let it become a dispute imo. No skin off your nose if you're leaving anyway.

Most lilacs flower in spring so the blooms should be fading now so it is the ideal time to prune them. If it is a late flowering lilac then you would need to wait until the blooms start to fade.

You've totally sold it to me now. I knew nothing of lilacs (or indeed many plants). Thanks for your help, and thanks for going easy on me. The jury concludes that I am mostly unreasonable.

Watch she doesn't send you the bill for 'your' tree next!