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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want my neighbour in my garden?

64 replies

nancerama · 20/06/2012 16:56

A new neighbour moved in next door about 6 months ago. A couple of months ago she came round to discuss the lilac tree at the end of my garden as she was concerned it was overhanging the end of her garden. I told her that I was more than happy for her to lop off anything that was overhanging her garden if it was annoying her. in all honesty I'd rather it was left as it is, as it's a beautiful tree, but I know she has every right to take down anything overhanging her garden, and I wouldn't want to spoil her enjoyment of her garden.

Now that I've agreed to let her lop off the overhanging bits, she won't let it go. She has hired some landscape gardeners to transform her garden and has asked which days I am home so that I can let them into my garden to cut off some more tree! She claims that they need to cut branches off at the trunk for the good of the tree. I was so taken aback by this request initially that I just made some noncommittal noises. Since then she's asked several times, and each time I have said that I'm happy for her to take of anything that's overhanging, but that I don't want anyone entering my garden whether I'm home or not. She won't take no for an answer and every day she asks again. I don't want to fall out with a neighbour, but I really don't see why she thinks it's ok to send workmen to my house to do work that I don't feel is needed.

Am I being obstructive, or should she back off?

OP posts:

Original poster

nancerama · 28/06/2012 10:24

So, I spoke to neighbour and asked her to let me know when her gardeners needed access. I told her I was more than happy for her to prune the tree, but I would want to speak to the gardeners to find out exactly what they planned to do. She said they would pay me a visit on Tuesday afternoon.

Tuesday morning I went to baby group and when I came back the pruning had already happened. They had hopped over the fence - exactly what I had asked not to happen and had taken off half of the tree.

DH is furious with me for allowing it to happen. And we've potentially lost our buyer as she is unhappy that our garden is no longer as secluded as it was before. In fact we are now totally overlooked by the houses behind

OP posts:

Floggingmolly · 28/06/2012 10:30

You're not exactly trying hard to get the message across, are you? When she asked for access to your garden, why did you say you'd be out, thereby letting her think that the timing was inconvenient, but you had no objection in principle?
You really can't blame the woman for being persistent when she may genuinely have no idea you object. Tell her.

Original poster

nancerama · 28/06/2012 10:40

Floggingmolly I made it very clear to my neighbour that I was happy for her workmen to do the work as long as I was there when it happened. She asked if Tuesday was OK, I told her I would be out in the morning, but would be back by midday, but I did let her know I would change my plans if I needed to be home all day. She told me not to change my plans.

I feel they have taken liberties, but there is nothing I can do now. They can't put back what was chopped off, and I have to grin and bear it as I don't want to have to declare a dispute when I sell.

OP posts:

manicbmc · 28/06/2012 10:42

She's a twat. Chuck all your snails over her fence.

Hope you get the house sold soon.

ASillyPhaseIAmGoingThrough · 28/06/2012 10:42

Did you state It in writing? Did she agree in writing she agreed?

DamselInTornDress · 28/06/2012 10:46

I would be speaking to her about compensation for damages. You were not at home. The tree surgeons should not have entered your property without your permission. They did not have it.

Original poster

nancerama · 28/06/2012 10:58

No - I didn't do anything in writing and yes, I'd love to kick up a real stink, but for the sake of getting rid of this house, I'm going to have to bite my tongue and keep the peace.

I shall channel my energies into finding the neighbour from hell. I shall make lots of suggestions for noisy home improvements to potential buyers. I can't wait until this loon is someone else's problem.

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Flisspaps · 28/06/2012 10:59

What Damsel says.

MammaTJ · 28/06/2012 11:14

Ask her if she has some form of dementia and say you had this convo yesterday and the day before and the day before.........................

dreamingofsun · 28/06/2012 11:16

what a bitch. had similar problem over trees with my neighbours, but at least they didn't trespass, they just did complaining emails.

I guess she knows you will be moving and she's keen to sort this now as she'd rather fall out with you than new neighbours.

sounds like you are taking right approach and floggity is wrong

limitedperiodonly · 28/06/2012 11:24

Oh God. I had one like that. You are going to have to tell her to fuck off.

Initially I thought mine was a bossy boots but essentially harmless. In reality she was a control freak and bully.

To be brief, she and her workmen were forever on my property when I was out. They damaged and threw away things she didn't like the look of. She told neighbours dreadful lies about me which I only found out about much later.

She got bolder and started demanding access when I was in to do so-called essential work on her house but in reality just wanted to have a good nose round and intimidate me.

When I refused she bombarded me with letters - some from her solicitor threatening bullshit legal action (many solicitors will do most things you pay them for as long as it isn't illegal) - alleging I was damaging her property.

Then she started a boundary dispute. The courts indulge these crackpots because I suppose not doing it would mean genuine claimants were denied justice.

Mine moved when eventually and inevitably her court action failed costing her a lot of money. It cost me quite a bit in money and worry too.

I wonder if she's moved in next to you?

SuchProspects · 28/06/2012 11:31

No reputable tree surgeon should be going into someone else's garden without their permission or a court order. Would what they did be considered criminal damage? (Not sure if skilled pruning of a tree can be considered damage even if it's not what you wanted).

You don't have to have a dispute with your neighbour. You could sue the tree surgeon instead. But not sure it would be worth it...

limitedperiodonly · 28/06/2012 11:31

That wasn't very brief, was it?

These people make your life a misery and there are lots of them about

Original poster

nancerama · 28/06/2012 11:55

limited I do hope I have your old neighbour. I would hate to think there is more than one of her!

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SoleSource · 28/06/2012 12:04

Just tell her thank you for the offer of some free advice and work by the landscape gardeners for your lilac tree. If you are around you'd be happy to let them in when they come but any work will have to be agreed by you.

StuntGirl · 28/06/2012 12:08

As silly as it might sound you should have got any agreement in writing, and not agreed anything until you'd had a discussion with both your neighbour and the tree surgeon.

However what's done is done. I would tell your neighbour I wasn't happy and that she had taken liberties and that as a result I would enter no further discussion with her over this tree ever again (since I assume it will grow again).

I would then contact the tree surgeon she used and play holy hell. They had no right to enter YOUR garden and cut YOUR tree. Put a formal complaint in with them. I would also look into whether there is anyone you can take the complaint further with - a head office if it is a large company for example.

I hope you can sell the house soon and get away from the selfish bitch.

Original poster

nancerama · 28/06/2012 12:34

Thanks all. I'm not expecting solutions, but I feel much better for ranting.

DH has been very unwell recently so her and her bloody zen garden were the least of my worries. She knows how unwell he is, as well.

I just wish DH would chill out now. What's done is done and him going into a sulk every time he looks out of the dining room window isn't helping his health.

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WhiteWidow · 28/06/2012 12:57

If I had one wis about this forum, it'd be tht I could take the places of the OP's and sort problems out like this. Because if I could that tree would be staying as it was and she wouldn't have bothered you again :o

diddl · 28/06/2012 13:12

Do you have before & after pics?

How quickly does it grow?

I´d be wanting compensation if you really have lost a buyer tbh.

Although, seems odd not to buy a house due to something that will grow again?

SoleSource · 28/06/2012 13:23

I missed the update. Disgusting behaviour! Legal advice?

SoleSource · 28/06/2012 13:26

I have learned my lesson with regards to neighbours. Smile say hello and unles it is a legal obligation or an emergency the answer is no. My neighbour from hell dropped dead 3 months ago after seven years of her crap. I'm back to my old OK self again.

somebloke123 · 28/06/2012 13:31

When some tree surgeons did some work on a tree of ours they needed access to a couple of adjacent properties.

We were given forms which we had to get signed by the respective owners, giving permission for the tree surgeons to access their gardens. Ans this was to do work on one of our trees, not the neighbours'.

I had always assumed this would be mandatory. Very unprofessional, maybe illegal, of the company not to require this of your neighbour.

AKE2012 · 28/06/2012 14:13

I think u may need legal advice as it, as u said, made you lose a seller for your house. I have a small suspicion that the tree surgeons may have been cowboys. i thought that u could only cut what was overhanging your garden.

I hope u can get the house sold and away from ur neighbour.

CaroleService · 28/06/2012 16:09

Put up the highest fence you can without planning permission, and plant something really quick-growing along it.

(My friend was furious when the developers behind her did this to improve light to the garden of the house they were working on. She was all set to take legal action, when a big footie star and his girlfriend moved in. Better than daytime TV, she said, and and a clear view!

Original poster

nancerama · 28/06/2012 16:11

No chance of celeb spotting. This is 2 up 2 down victorian terrace country. Apparently she is going to invite all the neighbours round to admire her new zen garden. I may accidentally drop some fast growing seeds ...

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