If you rang someone's home number and there was no answer, and then rang their mobile and no answer, would you then try the house again .... and the mobile?

[sandyballs]

I feel hounded, I think it's weird. She then emailed me. This isn't for anything urgent, just a chat. She's lovely and a good friend but I hate it when she does this. I'm not always available for a long chat, and I know it would be long. AIBU?

Not normally no. Only if i had a terrible emergency or I was worried about her. it's very needy, isn't it? is she ok?

No - but you could just answer the phone and say 'i'll call you back'

Unless it is an emergency, that is well weird & needy. Can't people take a hint that if you don't answer your phone, you are either out, busy or not in the mood for a chat?

If it was someone who would usually answer the phone, then I might because I was worried about them.

Generally I don't tend to phone mobiles unless either it's the only number I have, or if I need to speak now.

No way for just a chat, how rude!

If it was an emergency (a real one!) then yes. Examples: en route to hospital and you are my birthing partner, I'm looking after one of your DC and there's been an accident and they need to go to hospital.

I don't, but my mum does.
Alternates landline, my mobile, DH mobile in rotation.

No. If someone did that I would be worried they had a major problem, you dont do that just for a chat - I would normally call and if they dont answer then leave it, or else just text and say call me when youre free.

Calling mobiles and house repeatedly is quite a parents or inlaws thing to do, i really wouldn't expect it from friends just for no reason. If they really need to speak about something specifically or are upset then totally fine though i wouldnt mind, if its someone i like

No not for a chat. However, I used to have a friend who did this...very annoying!

Just don't answer home phone or mobile! Your phone is there for YOUR convenience not the caller's.

No I wouldn't. Or at least, only to my parents who won't admit they are hard of hearing and have the landline set to go to answerphone after 4 rings. It can take 10 attempts before anyone answers, just because they haven't noticed till then. I would never harrass anyone else like that unless it was a serious emergency.

If someone does that to me and it isn't a close relative with a possible emergency, I hunker down and refuse to answer. Yes, it is unreasonable of me and introverted and stubborn. But I like my space and I reckon it is MY choice whether to have conversations in it.

If you were my mother you would

Only if I had to get a message to someone and needed an immediate answer. Although, when the answer machine/voicemail kicks in, I would usually leave a message, then leave it with the person to get back to me.

I might, but I would assume that nobody was in at the house and that you just hadn't heard the mobile and therefore wouldn't feel hounded.

I won't be doing it again, mind, if people are really just sitting in the house getting annoyed!

no i wouldnt but i do have some relatives that do this, normally when i am busy getting the children to bed, i am NOT answering because I AM BUSY, ringing endlessly will just mean that when i DO answer the phone i will snap at you!

I HATE it when I am on the landline and someone calls my mobile. 9 times out of 10 they will have tried the landline to find it was engaged so call my mobile instead. Like I am going to hang up and talk to them! And when I do speak to them they say, 'Your landline was engaged so I called the mobile'.

One more time, nice and clear...

IF MY LANDLINE IS ENGAGED I AM ON THE PHONE AND THEREFORE NOT FREE TO TALK TO YOU!!

My mum does this and I find it a bit annoying and yes, it does feel like being hounded.

However I've noticed that if I'm chatting on the phone with my mum, her friends will call her mobile when they don't get through on the land line, so they all seem to think it's quite normal.

No, I would text to say when you have a minute give me a ring and then probably give a bit of info as to what it was about, so to give them an idea as to how important it is to them

Oooh i did this the other week to my sis. Needed to speak to her bout something so phoned the house it was engaged, phoned again n no one answered, phoned her mobile no answer n then phoned her partners mobile.
Got a bit peed off that she didnt answer but then thought to myself that iv done that too if im not in the mood to speak.

Dont do it regularly.

DH has a friend like this. He will phone the house, and instead of hanging up when no-one answers, he'll let the phone ring for as long as it will go. Then he rings DH's mobile, then the house again, letting it ring and ring and ring.

I have an answerphone - if I'm busy or if I'm not I NEVER answer the phone (mobile or landline) and told folks I know that if they want to speak to me they HAVE to leave a message and I'll ring them back.

My sister does that and it drives me nuts. First the landline, then the mobile, then the landline withholding the number (so I know she's going to take it personally). If I'm out and driving/busy I often look at my mobile later to find eight missed calls. It's the sort of thing that I would only do in some kind of terrible emergency.

Strangely, this is the same person who, when I call her, snatches up the phone and gasps What? What is it? in tones of panic. Makes me feel really great about ringing her, when it's obvious I've nearly given her a heart attack .