to be annoyed that other mums think Self-Employed = Lady of Leisure.

[noseynoonoo]

DC2 starts school in September. I have spent the past 9 months or so having people make comments to the effect of "from September you won't know what to do with yourself, you'll be a lady of leisure". Seriously I get this about 2-3 times a week.

I am self employed, which means that when DC2 is at morning nursery I am with clients, as I am one or two evenings a week and also most Saturdays. I spend a lot of my 'spare time' e.g. evenings up to midnight and Sundays afternoons on marketing activities. I am nowhere near being a lady of leisure and once September arrives I'll be filling the new 'spare time'.

This morning a mum at school commented on my work and then said the lady of leisure bit - how can she think I can work and not do anything all day - how does that work? I am just a really rubbish worker for not being able to acheive being self-employed and a lady of leisure lifestyle?

Do other self-employed people get this?

YANBU at all!

"How lovely to work only when you wish"
"I'll have to make up for it this evening though, unfortunately the mortgage doesn't pay itself"

"How lovely to be a lady of leisure"
"I like to organise my own time, that's why I started my own company, although it does mean working a lot of weekends"
or "Actually I'm a company director/business manager"

I have got this occassionally, but it's not been too bad. The worst was when the school was running a maths course, to encourage parents to help their kids at home. It was 2 hours a week for 4 weeks, and quite apart from the fact that, actually, I'm pretty good at maths anyway, I certainly couldn't afford the time away from work. But one school mum friend kept going on and on at me to do it with her. I told her the first time she asked that I couldn't because I had to work, but she kept going. In the end I just had to ignore her texts. :(

(if you're reading this, school mum friend, you're lovely in all other respects honestly. This just peed me off because of the assumption you obviously made about my work, ie it's not a proper job)

I do tend to tell people I own my own business and not that I fanny around on MN all time.

I'm another freelance writer btw, there seem to be a few of us on here

Just throwing it out there but perhaps other mums don't care know about your job and are just being polite, making conversation?

Oh she knows all right!

YANBU

Although I do think there are levels of self-employed.

Avon lady who goes round in the evenings and does a couple of evenings a week = lady of leisure

Self employed accountant who has to be available to see clients and working during office hours = lady with no more time on her hands than if she worked in an office.

Do they know what you do?

I'm another one who gets annoyed by the "pocket money" assumption. To be fair, I don't know for sure that other people make this assumption. I just get the impression they do. I work school hours but I make what a lot of people would regard as a good living. Though obviously you can't say this in conversation, can you? "DO YOU REALISE HOW MUCH I EARN?" 'cos it would make you look like a bit of a loon.

All the time "now you're a lady of leisure". Well, I do have a lot more leisure and flexiblity than when I worked for someone else, bu it's not true of all small businesses.

Yep. Even my DH comments and moans because the house is messy. "But you're here all day!"

Yes. I'm here. working!

Where are you this afternoon? "I'll be in the office" (even if the office is at home).

I love doing freelance (for the "freedom" and extra pay), but it's exhausting.

I work from home but have an employer and am contracted to work 9-5. People think I watch telly all day and that they can drop round whenever they want. (My OH just thinks I stay in all day to answer the door to Parcelforce and satisfy his eBay addiction but that's another story!) Stories like this make my blood boil, I take my job really seriously! www.guardian.co.uk/money/2012/may/15/10-tips-for-home-workers