To be annoyed that my DM doesn't trust me?

[ProudMummy48]

My DM is babysitting my DS this week because me and my DH are going out for the day, I sold my car last year because of financial issues and I am aching to be able to drive so I asked my DM if I could be insured on her car for the day so I could drive my DH to his birthday present also I have previously asked her and she said yes but then changed her mind about it, My DF doesn?t see a problem with me driving it.

I have had a licence over 2 years and I have never had any convictions, her answer was "No, I don?t want you driving my car because I love my car and don't really trust you" She has no reason not to trust me and just last month she said that she tried to insure my DB on her car but she couldn?t because it would be too expensive.

I offered to pay for the day insurance and also get her insured on my DH's car so she wouldn?t be left without one (I cannot get insured on that car because I am under 21).

It is not the fact that she didn't want me to get insured on her car that is her choice; it?s the blatant lack of trust for me. I trust her with my DS all day but she cannot trust me with her car? I just don't understand.

Anyway AIBU? :)

Perhaps you are just a really crap driver but don't realise it?

I can assure you that i am a good driver. :D

*:o

Cars are very personal things to people, some people they are just things that get them from A to B but to others they are extensions of themselves. Maybe your DM is like that?

Scenario... you borrow her car and make a stupid mistake while driving that results in thousands of pounds of damage to her car. She loses her no claims discount so her car insurance costs her more for the next 10 years. How would you feel?

I don't let anyone drive my car on my insurance :-)

YANBU to be a bit dissapointed, YABU to be annoyed because you have no reason to be annoyed over something that isnt yours and YABU think she should let you borrow her car just because you want her too.

I wouldn't lend out my car to people, even family. I would just feel uncomfortable with it. Its my car, I rely on it, so even if it was insured Id still have hassle if anything happened to it and apart from the house its the most expensive thing I own.

The insurance thing would be irrelevant because of course it would go without saying that they would pay for full insurance and petrol.

Why can't your dh drive?

Point out that she trusts you with her precious DGS, surely he means more to her than the car?

why can you not drive your husbands car?

Well...see I have a car. My DP is in the process of getting his driver's licence. When I think about him driving my car in the future it makes me feel really possessive! Its my car! I paid for it! Mine! Even though logically, he would be insured and is very responsible and all that.

So maybe your mother feels like me Or maybe she honestly does think you are a dodgy driver for some reason. Has she had much experience of your driving?

oh sorry, just saw that you are under 21..

Squeaky, that was my thought too, why not drive your DH's car? It is a drag your DM won't let you drive hers, but you ABU if you get mad at her, but don't get mad at him!

It does seem a bit of a mean thing to say if she actually has no grounds for believing you'll drive recklessly/irresponsibly.

Okay maybe I put the wrong title, I am not annoyed but yes I am a bit disappointed.

Being on day insurance for a car doesn't mean that if I have a bump she would lose her no claims discount but I can understand what you are saying.

It?s not that my DH couldn?t drive it?s just that I would have liked to drive him because I am taking him out for his birthday.

Taxi?

My DH would have no problem with me driving his car and has tried to get me insured on it, The car's engine is too big and no insurance company will insure me because I am under 21 whereas I could get insured on my DM's car no problem.

Could you hire a car for a day? Your dm is probably a bit worried, you've only had a license 2 years and havent driven in over 6 months (if you got rid of your car last year) I think I would be a bit worried aswel.

Nobody else is allowed to drive my car except DH when he puts petrol in it and I have certainly never let my grownup children drive it.

Cars are awkward and time consuming to get fixed if a mishap occurs, and a no-claims bonus is a treasure to be clung on to.

I could look into hiring a car but it?s just my age which seems to be the problem with most places.

She has let me drive all of the previous cars and it?s just disappointing that she tried to insure my DB on the car a month ago and he is only a year older than me and has had previous convictions whereas i have had none.

You've only had a licence for 2 years and you sold your car last year

Therefore you're not a very experienced driver and perhaps that's what she means by not 'trusting' you?

why aren't you insured on your DH's car?

surely he'll be with you when you drive him to his surprise, so it's not like you'll be needing the car when he also needs it?
(this time - it'll also be very useful in the future)

sorry, I didn't see your post about why you can't

Probably worra driving for a year or even 2 is not experienced imo.

That?s a fair point, I passed when I was 17 so I have been driving nearly 3 years now but i have not driven for about 6 months so I can understand what you are saying.

Yabu

I really don't even like dh driving my car tbh. It's my no claims on the line and I would forever be resentful if he damaged it.

Oh, and if you and your dp can only afford one car surely it should be one you can both drive?