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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell SIL to stay away if she can't be civil

70 replies

FrankieAnne · 17/06/2012 22:10

Everytime she visits she calls DD "old woman Gladys". I was never funny and now, 9 months on it's just plain irritating. Would it be an over reaction to tell her if she can't act like a grown up she can just stay away because I can't be arsed to deal with her?

OP posts:
OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 17/06/2012 22:24

It seems a bit extreme to prevent your dd having a relationship with her Aunt and cause problems for your dh and his side if the family just because of an irritating comment.

Can't you just tell her to stop saying it?

pumpkinsweetie · 17/06/2012 22:24

I don't really think it is worth getting upset about, she may just call her it as a nickname? And if it isn't maybe if you completely ignore it she'll get bored of saying it iyswim

LingDiLong · 17/06/2012 22:25

Yes that would be an over reaction. Although I can see why you're irritated, she's being rude and annoying. You've been (presumably) ignoring her for 9 months and that hasn't worked, you need to either be rude back 'and here's old woman SIL' or 'oh God not that old joke again, change the record' or just a very straight forward Mumsnet 'that sounded very rude, did you mean it to be?'. Maybe even just tell her she's getting on your pip and can she just stop.

MsKittyFane · 17/06/2012 22:26

Also, does she not know that all these names are back in fashion? I have friends with babies called Albert, Stanley, Elsie, Betty to name a few. She needs to Stop talking and be quiet. :)

amistillsexy · 17/06/2012 22:27

What did she want to name your daughter?

FannyFifer · 17/06/2012 22:27

Oh so her name is actually Gladys.

It is an old lady name though and I'm sure you and Gladys will hear that a lot, better start growing a thick skin now tbh.

WorraLiberty · 17/06/2012 22:28

How does one 'bully' a 9 month old baby?

She's not bullying a child

Buy she is upsetting the Mother in her own home and that's not on.

LentillyFart · 17/06/2012 22:30

So your SIL wanted a specific name for your child? And you didn't comply? But what on earth made her think that was ok?

MsKittyFane · 17/06/2012 22:30

Yes! Snidey Sue, Catty Kate! Wish you could tell us her name! We could childishly think up a few names for her :o
Although it's not good to sink to her level...
:o

redwineformethanks · 17/06/2012 22:32

Take her to one side and politely say the joke's wearing thin, but don't ban her, that's OTT

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan · 17/06/2012 22:33

doh, someone can't read... Blush you are right she is not bullying the child.. I read it as years... Blush

in that case tell her to wind her neck in and stop being so rude.

LapsedPacifist · 17/06/2012 22:33

What is your SIL's name? Surely you can come up with a similarly childish/daft/insulting version of her name and insist on using it to her face. Make a point of saying it to your DD - "Oh look, its blah blah Auntie blah here to see you!!"

WorraLiberty · 17/06/2012 22:33

You won't be able to ban everyone who takes the piss OP

You and Gladys (eventually) will have to find a better coping strategy

Mine is to flick my middle finger up but I'm sure you'll be more polite Grin

thisnameisalreadyinuse · 17/06/2012 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummymeister · 17/06/2012 22:34

agree with redwine these things can escalate and become family fueds very easily and perhaps she doesnt realise that it is really starting to get on your nerves. perhaps mumsnet ought to set up a SIL swop cause then i would be at the front of the queue with mine Grin

GrahamTribe · 17/06/2012 22:34

Yes, it would be overreacting. A cold stare and a very firm, "Stop that now, please, the joke's over" will suffice.

DamnBamboo · 17/06/2012 22:34

Oh it is coming back into fashion is Gladys!

There is one in each my sons classes!

Also an Olive!

DamnBamboo · 17/06/2012 22:34

each of sons

Devora · 17/06/2012 22:36

I know an Agatha.

Gladys is pretty, IMO.

WorraLiberty · 17/06/2012 22:37

Olive??

Noooooooooooo!

Grin That just reminds me of that old TV show called 'On the buses'

ravenAK · 17/06/2012 22:37

'Old lady' names rock.

Can't you just tell your SIL that she's being a boring twat & to 'give it a rest now, eh'?

With any luck she'll take huge offence, strop off & then have to explain to people that she tried to tell you what to call your dd, proceeded to take the piss out of her baby niece's name, & has now fallen out with you for telling her to pack it in. Which will make her look a complete plank...

Honestly, don't let it upset you.

mindosa · 17/06/2012 22:38

My DD is called Mary and if I had a pound for all the 'quite contrary' comments, I would be very rich indeed.

You called your DD Gladys, a perfectly fine name, but you kind of have to live with the comments. Sorry

My DS was very skinny and my whole family used to call him 'rat baby' - we kind of got used to it

WorraLiberty · 17/06/2012 22:40

mindosa I come from an Irish family so you can imagine how many Marys we have Grin

Mary quite contrary

Hairy Mary

Larey Mary

Scary Mary

And Dairy Mary who....well she works at the local dairy Grin

DamnBamboo · 17/06/2012 22:40

Yup Olive.

There is also a Stanely and an Albert and a Gertie too!

WorraLiberty · 17/06/2012 22:43

I think it's true what they say

As soon as a generation dies, their names come back into fashion.

That is certainly true of Alfie, Jack, Maisey, Grace etc...