To think that DH is being totally unrealistic about the weekly food bill!

[goingeversoslowlymad]

Am getting a bit stressed out about my DH and the grocery shop. Our weekly bill is usually between £80 to £100, we would do a top-up shop of about £20 midweek, so max £120 all in for a family of 4. We do not use nappies, this includes everything including toiletries and cleaning products.

Money is pretty tight at the moment and I can appreciate he wants to try to cut down a bit but I seriously can't seem to get it much lower than this, there are no luxuries in this either i.e wine, magazines etc. Everyone I talk to in our situation seems to spend a similar amount but DH seems to think it excessive.

I'm going to give a veg box and meat pack delivery a try. Also going to order online to avoid being seduced by the offers instore. I don't see it being much cheaper but hopefully he'll stop moaning if I prove he's being unrealistic! What does everyone else spend?

We spend between £350-£400 a month on everything, this includes 2 guinea pigs, packed lunches and a fair amount of wine.

The only way though that this budget is do-able is by shopping at certain times and buying heavily reduced items. I generally find good bargains (usually 50-90% reduced) in Waitrose and the Co-op and tbh I cannot remember the last time I paid full price for meat. I don't buy rubbish, just shop around the reduced section, I have no pride whatsover about buying reduced items and my kids are trained to spot stickered stuff. We actually have a good laugh doing the shopping and also try a lot of stuff we wouldn't necessarily buy - a few weeks ago the sushi was reduced, something we could not usually afford, my kids loved it. 10 years ago it wouldn't have crossed my mind to check out the reduced items, now it is a firm shopping habit.

My veg comes from Aldi/Lidl or my local Greengrocer who has an 'economy' section where he sells, say, a massive bunch of celery (nothing wrong with it I can see) for 50p, 1kg of juicy plum tomatoes for 40p. Granted, you may have to eat the veg soon but it works for us.

The one thing I will say is if you can, buy a freezer. My chest freezer is fab, meat freezes really well and I am now freezing things I never used to just fine - last week I got some massively reduced posh sponge cakes, they froze really well and will do for packed lunches and a treat for us.

I also try and make at least a couple of meals really, really simple i.e cheese on toast and a salad, bacon and eggs, etc. Every meal doesn't need to be gourmet.

Ok this is this weeks meal plan. Breakfast is cereal, at the mo it's the Kellogg's variety pack which is £1 in asda for 8 little boxes, so 4 breakfasts for £1, then they have slice of toast. DH and I have either toast and fruit or porridge and fruit.

Lunch is a sandwich, either ham cheese or tuna on whole meal bread. Fruit. The DC's have in addition cheese, squeezy yogurt and raisins.

Snacks would be fruit, raisins, biscuit (value brand).

Meals this week are - shepherds pie, chicken pasta, pan haggerty(layered bacon, potato, onion, carrots baked in oven with cheese on top), tuna salad (tinned tuna), homemade pizza ( I make the base from scratch and the tomato topping), spag Bol. We only eat dessert on a Sunday, the DC's have a yogurt after their evening meal.

DC's drink dilute juice, water or milk. I don't think we are extravagant. I am not really brand loyal apart from Hellmans mayo and Heinz beans and ketchup. We never get takeaway.

Tell him you could easily cut down a lot by turning vegetarian and see what response that gets from him!

okay- here goes- don't take this the wrong way?

^Ok this is this weeks meal plan. Breakfast is cereal, at the mo it's the Kellogg's variety pack which is £1 in asda for 8 little boxes, so 4 breakfasts for £1, then they have slice of toast. DH and I have either toast and fruit or porridge and fruit.

Lunch is a sandwich, either ham cheese or tuna on whole meal bread. Fruit. The DC's have in addition cheese, squeezy yogurt and raisins.

Snacks would be fruit, raisins, biscuit (value brand).

Meals this week are - shepherds pie, chicken pasta, pan haggerty(layered bacon, potato, onion, carrots baked in oven with cheese on top), tuna salad (tinned tuna), homemade pizza ( I make the base from scratch and the tomato topping), spag Bol. We only eat dessert on a Sunday, the DC's have a yogurt after their evening meal.

DC's drink dilute juice, water or milk. I don't think we are extravagant. I am not really brand loyal apart from Hellmans mayo and Heinz beans and ketchup. We never get takeaway.^

Those diddly boxes of cereal are false economy- you could get a huge bag of porridge oats- healthier and cheaper- at around a £1 that would last for a week or more. or 1 large box of one type of cereal- they don't have to be variety packs!

Raisins- are you buying tiny little packs or one huge bag and decanting into a pot of your own, or a twist of cling film? Ditto squeezy yoghurt- cheaper to give them yoghurt at home out of a large tub, and fill the lunch boxes with maybe more veggies or homemade flap jack etc. Do they really need a sandwhich, AND cheese, AND raisins AND yoghurt? it sounds a lot and my DCS never starved! I'd be going for a sandwich, 1-2 pieces fruit, and a piece of cheese. Do they eat it all or throw some away?

Does your £100 include cleaning products- are they own brand?

From what i can see, you are possibly over psending by buying individual packs of some foods instead of a large bag.

I don't think mouthwash and kitchen paper are must have items are they? We certainly never buy them.

That cereals very expensive Going, as are the squeeze yogurts, mine just have plain yeo valley with honey on, very useful to have in the house as you can do other stuff like tandoori chicken with it.

Breakfast here is also toast or cereal, not both. And lunch can be jacket potatoes or boiled eggs more than sandwiches with expensive tuna or ham in.

What are your portions like?

OP the italics around your post didn't work do here are my comments WFIW!

Those diddly boxes of cereal are false economy- you could get a huge bag of porridge oats- healthier and cheaper- at around a £1 that would last for a week or more. or 1 large box of one type of cereal- they don't have to be variety packs!

Raisins- are you buying tiny little packs or one huge bag and decanting into a pot of your own, or a twist of cling film? Ditto squeezy yoghurt- cheaper to give them yoghurt at home out of a large tub, and fill the lunch boxes with maybe more veggies or homemade flap jack etc. Do they really need a sandwhich, AND cheese, AND raisins AND yoghurt? it sounds a lot and my DCS never starved! I'd be going for a sandwich, 1-2 pieces fruit, and a piece of cheese. Do they eat it all or throw some away?

Does your £100 include cleaning products- are they own brand?

From what i can see, you are possibly over psending by buying individual packs of some foods instead of a large bag.

The DC's drive me mad over cereal and tire of things easily. I found that before we got the variety packs, we had lots of big boxes left untouched and had to be thrown out. We have no waste this way, it all gets eaten.

The raisins, yes I am guilty of buying snack boxes. I will take up your suggestion on that.

The amount they have in their lunch is the least that I can get away with. Have tried cutting it in the past only for them to moan at me that they ate hungry.

Sorry yes that includes cleaning products. Always the cheapest! Washing powder is always whatever is on offer, have no loyalties there.

Have you tried making flapjacks or cheese scones and filling them up with them? How old are your dcs?

I spend about £500 p/m. Sometimes a bit more.

That's for two adults and an 11yo with hollow legs; ds has school dinners so it doesn't cover that, but dp and I both take lunch into work. Oh and a cat and a snake. I mean we feed them, not we take them to work.

Now I know that I could spend far less but £45 a week? Really? I cannot see how that's possible week in, week out. For short bursts maybe, but not longer term.

Erm why don't you tell dh to do all the shopping for a week and see what happens?

How old are the children?

TBH I'd take a harder line.

If they don't like the cereals on offer- maybe choice of 2, then I'd day like it or lump it and have eggs or beans and toast instead.

I don't think on principle that kids should dictate meals- when it's a question of costs.

yes- change the raisins- they are a stupid proce for a matchbox size- get 1kg for a couple of quid or less.

re, your idea of veg and meat boxes- you are kidding? :)

I used to get both for a long time and stopped about a year ago. Quality was good for both but we just didn't eat all the veg.

Ham in sannies is expensive- it's £3 a packet for 4 slices in Wrose. I'd be using cheese or tuna, or egg mayo.

Can I just hijack for a minute and ask how mealplanners deal with unpredictable household members!I am always trying to plan but it never seems to work out properly.For example,this week asked all members of family ,well ds1(18)and dh when they were out,not needing dinner etc.So......

Mon:ds1announced he had unexpectedly had a good lunch and didn't fancy planned meal,he would make himself something later Dh unexpectedly working late.So only cook for me and youngest ds((10),having shopped and planned for 4

Tues:plan goes ahead except that dh late again and after me having cooked and kept meal hot he says he doesn't feel too hungry as has had pasty on train

Wed:Both ds's say they don't fancy planned meal ,put it in front of them anyway ,neither eats ( in his defence ds1 anxious about pending exam).Food wasted

Thurs:get home after long day at work to find the ingredients for tonight's meal have vanishedStart from scratch .Dh home earlier than usual and irritated(he did try to disguise it)because dinner not ready

Fri:I throw in the towel ,now spending weekend freezing things that might go off or buying extra so that the planned meal now stretches to 5 as ds2 now home as well.

Help

I work with a girl who lives alone and
has her weekly shopping down to £22 a week including toiletries! She cooks from scratch.

£22!

The DC's are 6 and 9.

sorry but they sound a bit faddy

If they don't fancy the food put in t front of them - well this isn't a hotel with a flipping menu here - go to one and eat at your own expense if you fancy something else.

tell dp not to eat snacks on the way home - otherwise he will be visiting the cafe down the road more frequently if he turns down the food served here at home.

We don't have supper until 8.30 so don't usually have this type of problem of people eating to much at lunch time and tea at 5 is just a very small snack usually before swimming or cycling so I have hungry dc

Re: ham £3 a packet. I regularly buy 'reduced' ham and freeze, it works fine so long as you eat the ham you defrost on the day.

Might not be to everyone's taste but it suits us.

Out to lunch

maybe you have to turn this around and put more responsibility on the otheres inthe family.

I know where you are coming from- got that T shirt!

I'd say that anyone who is not coming back on time as planned has to let you know in good time so you can avoid wasted food. They can then make do with a sandwich or omlette or something.

I'd also have a shelf in the fridge etc which had food on that was "out of bounds" - needed for the dinner etc.

You could also have emergency rations in the freezer- cottage pies, chili, pizza etc , fish fingers and chips- as spare meals.

Outtolunch. So one day your dh ate on the way home and messed up your dinner plans and wasted food. Another day he comes home earlier and has the hump that dinners not ready!? What an arse!

pacino is it really safe to freeze ham?

It's so full of nitrates anyway that it won't go off till well past the sell by date.

On another note, we have given up all processed meats due to cancer link.

Ivy they are very polite about it and would happily feed themselves but that's just not practical .Dh leaves the house at 6.45am and on a good day is home by 9.00pm,too late for me and the children to eat.

I have tried just putting it down but I just end up binning the food and then finding that tomorrow's ingredients have been used up for them cooking an alternative.Or they are living on toasted sandwiches and fried eggs

I know I sound defeated but I am so fed up with cooking food that doesn't get eaten .They are always polite never rude but won't eat if not hungry or don't feel like what's on offer .The 10year old is easy to manage and 15 year old fine but ds1 and dh a nightmare.They would say however that they will eat anything and are not fussy just only eat if hungry and cannot predict their apetite

stookie well that's not really surprising is it? My DD lives alone and gets by with £25- £30 a week on food.

And if you mulitply that by 4 you get what the OP is spending- around 3100!

Why are you shocked at £22 for one person? Is that a lot or a little?

£22 x 5 = £110, which is what I spend on 5 people (and two cats), so it sounds about right to me.

Out you are being controlled by your children and DH.

You are not simply a provider of meals!

I had 2 simple rules with my kids- if they didn't "like" what was on offer, they went hungry- or had fruit and a sannie. Also- no snacking befre meals so not being hungry was not an issue.

But being realisitc- surely you know them well enough to know what they will eat?

And don't allow them to use food that is earmarked for another day. it's your house, your kitchen, and until they pay for food then they should not be allowed to pick and choose and waste it.

My elderly aunt and uncle spend £10 - £15 a week on groceries. They are not short of money and have hundreds of thousands in the bank, which will be left to their children, who don't bother with them. I really worry for them tbh.