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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that DH is being totally unrealistic about the weekly food bill!

464 replies

goingeversoslowlymad · 16/06/2012 23:14

Am getting a bit stressed out about my DH and the grocery shop. Our weekly bill is usually between £80 to £100, we would do a top-up shop of about £20 midweek, so max £120 all in for a family of 4. We do not use nappies, this includes everything including toiletries and cleaning products.

Money is pretty tight at the moment and I can appreciate he wants to try to cut down a bit but I seriously can't seem to get it much lower than this, there are no luxuries in this either i.e wine, magazines etc. Everyone I talk to in our situation seems to spend a similar amount but DH seems to think it excessive.

I'm going to give a veg box and meat pack delivery a try. Also going to order online to avoid being seduced by the offers instore. I don't see it being much cheaper but hopefully he'll stop moaning if I prove he's being unrealistic! What does everyone else spend?

OP posts:
outtolunchagain · 17/06/2012 16:46

Dh isn't an arse but is shattered works very long hours that day he worked 18 hours and I think he thought he would faint if he didn't eat ,quite rare for him to snack actually

He is at work now ,have cooked for 6pm,dinner in oven ,he has just rung to say will be late ,he'll eat later.ds3 has an activity so already having to feed him earlier than everyone,the meal us disintegrating againAngry

Adversecamber · 17/06/2012 16:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stookiesackhouse · 17/06/2012 16:53

I think £22 for three meals per day plus toiletries and cleaning is really low. It's around £3 per day.

outtolunchagain · 17/06/2012 16:53

In my defence I don't brook any nonsense at breakfast ,only buy the same cereals in massive boxes ;shreddies,weetabix and branflakes plus porridge .Can't be doing with those little boxes

PooPooInMyToes · 17/06/2012 16:55

Out. Maybe make something very basic little pasta bake and then it can be left in the over for when they get home. If they don't want it freeze it in portions.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 17/06/2012 16:55

Sometimes it's easier when it's just you (although economies of scale make it seem counterintuitive).

Mainly for the kind of reasons outto describes, but also because it's easier to be frugal when it's only you who's missing out and you see all the benefit of your economising efforts.

LynetteScavo · 17/06/2012 16:56

But some are claiming they only spend £50pw on a family of 4. Which is only just over £150 day per person, but apparently that is quite doable . (I'm not convinced)

outtolunchagain · 17/06/2012 16:56

But if I stop cooking it would cost more as they would live nothings like covent garden soup,manchego and toasted sandwiches ,maybe the odd omelette.

Surely I am not the only person who has to deal with adults with weird appetites ,it's not that they don't like the food just that they don't seem to feel hungry at the same time every day or they put other commitments before mealtimes

outtolunchagain · 17/06/2012 16:57

My freezer by the way is full of frozen portions that only I will eatBlush

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 17/06/2012 17:00

Cooking for one:
Big casserole or chilli - that's three dinners for £3.
Roast a chook - ditto.
Fruit & veg - £5.
Two loaves - £2
Milk - ditto
That's £15. £7 for cleaning stuff (personal and domestic), butter, jam etc.

I think it's doable.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 17/06/2012 17:02

£50 a week for four is unsustainable Lynette, I agree.

stookiesackhouse · 17/06/2012 17:02

Yeah see the £100-120 per week for four seems more doable because of economies of scale.

I lived alone for 7 years and I would have struggled with a £22 weekly budget and no wine and chocolates

valiumredhead · 17/06/2012 17:02

By cleaning products I mean washing up liquid, dishwasher tabs/powder, laundry detergent and fabric softener.

stookiesackhouse · 17/06/2012 17:04

Jen, that's dinner covered but what about breakfast and lunch.

The girl at work makes huge portions of soup and pasta and eats them for days on end.

mybabyweightiseightyearsold · 17/06/2012 17:09

Watching this with delight - we need to cut back...

Currently, we I shop at Sainsb because it's closest . 5 of us, 3 kids between 8+4, and, I don't even know how much we spend!

Easily £150 a week. We have no system, I buy what's onoffer, we spend Far Too Much on snacks for packed lunches, I make soup every day, we spend FAr Too Much on wine, I never have a completed list with me so get home to find that I've forgotten x, y or z...

Being more organised would be great - anyone got a meal planning website they can direct me to to help?

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 17/06/2012 17:14

O I know, Stook. I was thinking homemade soup and whatnot, to come out of that £7. Oh, and air maybe Grin

mynewpassion · 17/06/2012 17:15

out, I think for your DH, I would give him a break. His hours seem erratic and sometimes during what should be dinner hour, grabbing a sandwich or a pasty is the quickest thing when you are hungry even though it ruins his dinner meal. If he missed dinner, couldn't you pack it as his lunch for the next day?

Now, for your kids. Eat it or lose it or if they have money, buy it themselves.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 17/06/2012 17:15

Oh and I did include two loaves of bread [profligate]

stookiesackhouse · 17/06/2012 17:23

She doesn't buy meat too expensive and drinks only water.

I couldn't live like that. Like my food and treats too much. I'd wither away :o

mcmooncup · 17/06/2012 17:26

I agree with those who say if you have to you will.
I used to spend in excess of £120 pw for 4 without a thought.
Since my current, but temporary financial crisis, and also it just being 3 of us, I spend £35 pw, for everything. And meals are healthy (although part of being healthy to me is NOT meat everyday).
I spend more on petrol than food.
And Aldi is only occasional - we are Sainsbo's folk in general.

mcmooncup · 17/06/2012 17:27

I also eat like a sparrow so that helps Smile

stressedHEmum · 17/06/2012 17:28

I spend under £400 a month for 7 of us (4 adults, 4 teens, 1 pre-teen). 3 meals a day for 4 of us, 2 meals a day for 3 - they are responsible for their own stuff while at uni etc. That includes all toiletries, cleaning stuff, approximately a gallon of Lynx body spray and all that kind of thing, also all veg for guinea pigs. Other pet stuff comes from Pets at home and costs about £20 or so a month.

I shop in online at Asda and Approved Foods for biscuits, crisps and the like. I don't do top up shops as such, just buy milk and bread 2 or 3 times a week, probably comes to about a tenner a week. This month Asda is about £200, AF about £50 and then perhaps another £75 throughout the month for bread, milk, extra veg.

We eat well and healthily but simply. We also eat mainly vegetarian food with any meat mainly being used as a flavouring rather than a main event and fish being mainly tinned. Fruit tends to be basic sorts like apples, bananas, kiwis and soft citrus, when it runs out, I usually have tinned fruit that we can use.

Typical meals would be HM soup, pasta with chick peas, veg curry, lentil chilli, bulghur wheat pilaf, scrambled egg rice, pasta bake, pasta with cheesy leeks, baked spinach rice, dahl and rice, creamy tuna and pea with rice, sweet potato quesadillas, different bean dishes, salmon loaf, nut roast ....

Tonight we're having a savoury bread pudding (cheese and corn) with green beans and carrots. I have a large repertoire of meals that I can make for between 50p and 75p a head and some that cost less. Breakfasts are cereal, toast, porridge or something like hm banana bread/pancakes. Lunches are leftovers, sandwiches, wraps or simple rice or pasta dishes. We don't really do desserts. There is usually a biscuit or a piece of hm cake for after dinner, occasionally some ice-cream or a homemade pudding. Snacks are fruit, toast, biscuits. I only buy biscuits, crisps etc. once a month and when they are gone, they're gone. I also only buy fizzy water, fruit juice and squash - no coke etc except for birthdays and the like.

If I had more money to spend then I probably would spend more, but not much because, we don't really need any more than we already have. I'm not suggesting that anyone does the same as I do, but if you really want to get shopping bills down, you have to look very carefully at what you spend, eat and throw away and then think hard about what you are prepared to compromise on or do without. A lot of it is about expectations and altering them to suit the circumstances that you find yourself in.

Aliceinthelookingglass · 17/06/2012 17:31

stookie I am really beginning to wonder if the girl at work is my DD! :)

She makes a pasta bake that lasts 2-3 days, soup, lentil bakes and casseroles.

I think it's quite easy for 1 person ( female) to get by on £5 a day if you make your own lunches and maybe spend £2-£3 on a main meal- but not a young man- my son eats so much!

fuzzpig · 17/06/2012 17:37
Blush
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 17/06/2012 17:38

I did it most weeks (out of necessity) when it was just me and baby ds (so nappies, too).

But that was nearly 12 years ago. Nappies were dearer I think (I sometimes had to deliberately visit baby changing rooms for the freebies - I'm the reason they don't give nappies away anymore, sorry Blush ), but food certainly wasn't.