to ditch the TV?

[DidntChaKnow]

I'd been thinking about it for ages but finally got rid of our telly the other day... My mother thinks I'm being incredibly cruel to my children (8 and 3), eldest is a real telly addict and is not impressed that I've got rid of it.

I've found myself using the TV more and more as a 'babysitter' since splitting with their dad last year, it's just so easy to let them go veg out while I lurk on MN get the housework done... So rather than attempting to ration it and face arguments with my eldest angel, I took the easy option and got rid.

My plan is now to be super mum and engage with them more (think baking, board games, etc)

I'm sat stewing over my mother's reaction, she got into a real strop this morning when she found out I had got rid. She is convinced that I am being very unreasonable, has any one else done this and had to deal with negative comments?! Am I really being a mean mummy??

Nope, not unreasonable.

I have to ration my two as they ask for it all the time. They know they can watch a tiny bit after lunch and a longer chunk before bed.

But i would be happier without it and if my telly addict DH didn't live here I would get shot, too.

could never get rid of the TV.

however when i turn it off it stays off, we are out and i do arty stuff and baking swimming ect. But i need 5 for myself the TV comes on

Not at all. Good for you!

Haven't had one for the last 22 years. 3 dc don't seem bothered really. We do have a projector and watch dvds, and also internet, which has to be rationed to 20 min / day. Doesn't seem a problem and don't think it has negatively impacted dc.

years ago when my eldest boys were about 5 and 8 we threw the tv out entirely and do you know no one can remember the two years we went without a tv.

I couldn't do without my TV but good for you. Keep saying to dh that dd watches far too much but I can get stuff done & have 8 month old ds to contend with as well. (I also couldn't possibly do without my latest obsession, 24 hrs in A&E & would absolutely miss Celeb Juice-Bang tidy!) Don't you miss watching a film on a Saturday night?

I could not be without a tv.. I enjoy watching it, and dont really see it as a devil in the corner..

I do feel sorry for kids who have to grow up with no tv, because it really does make them distant from their peers.

I don't think it's necessarily good to get rid of the TV because you feel unable to ration it.

That's like getting rid of all treats in the cupboard because you find it too hard to say no.

TV can be extremely educational and helpful to many kids/adults and I don't think any child would necessarily benefit from having no access to it at all in this day and age.

But that's JMO.

I had unlimited tv growing up. Dd had unlimited tv as well. These days neither of us is bothered and it is on for Skyrim and the occasional dvds.

Some days it doesn't get switched on at all.

Why not say you've got 1 hour to choose in a day so that your 8 yr old is more selective?

If you dont want a tv, fine.

Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with TV, there are good programs on. Turn it off when you don't want it on.

You can also turn off the wifi. That comment is aimed at me, dp and me often switch off the tv, get the kids off the pc, we still are checking "important" stuff on phones / iPads / netbooks.

DD2 is away, the peace is wonderful.
No CBBC.
She's an utter pain, if I turn the TV off she puts iplayer on her lap top.

She's 11 and I really wish she'd grow out of kids TV. Soaps are band in this house although I suspect she reads the plot summaries to join the chatter at school.

I do feel I should add that some programmes are indeed educational- In Sainsburys with DD(2), mummy look fennel-yay thanks Mr Bloom & thanks to Numtums she is really good with numbers (though I do numbers with her so who knows who should get credit for that )

My kids learnt all there letters from Countdown. (before nursery)

Seems a bit unfair on the 8 year old. I'd think its showing her the wrong message too. Wouldn't it be better to teach her to stick to certain rules regarding her chosen leisure time rather than just go nah you can't have any of what you like.

we dont watch tv but this wasnt some sanctimonious parenting choice that but me on some lentil weaving utopian mega mum level. it was becuase it became a background noise to technology which was also being used.

with no tv there were a couple of advantages

1. the kids played out more
2. they didn't pester for things they saw on tv. there were really big fads that i pandered to through peer pressure, but they were not influenced constantly.

the thing about stating that you are intending to be a better parent through getting rid of tv - automatically fucks people off if they have a tv - as you are by default saying that they could parent better

there are then those who confident in their own parenting choices just think your a bragging show off and think you're a dick because of this.

I think YABU - but you've already done it so I suppose I'm not going to convice you!

We had no TV growing up, I hated having to listen to my friends talk about it and not being able to join in. First year at uni was annoying too, loads of conversations about cartoons that people watched as kids etc and I missed out again!

Then when I finally did get a tv I didn't know how to turn it off, I would watch it ALL the time, even if there was nothing on.

Now we have a tv, but it is banned mon-fri and between 9am and 6pm at the weekend.

I think everything in moderation. The TV can be a fantastic, entertaining, educational thing. It also can be a mind-numbing, brain-killing box of noise.

I love my telly. It spends just as much time off as it does on but we all love something or other on it.

It's your decision though, and certainly not a wrong one.

I always think of the joke "no TV? What do you point your furniture at?"

I can understand why parents are more anti-TV now than say in the early 80's because back then, you didn't really have to actively ration, as the kids stuff was only on for a few hrs a day and then there was just the news or test cricket the rest of the time (or that's how it seemed anyway!).

Now it's on 24/7 plus there's on demand, downloads for ipads etc. There's always something they want to watch. I let DS (2) watch a bit of TV but starting to think I shd just ban it as the 10 mins of peace that Peppa bestows aren't worth the tantrums when Peppa gets switched off

Sorry but I think it's really tough on DCs to get rid. Agree if you let them choose one hour in day, (or 20 min or whatever) you then give them some empowerment iyswim - (the same thinking skill also may help them with other things too eg money - you have £x how do you want to spend it. ). I would worry about them being thought 'weird' at school (I had some of this).

I think it's laudable what you've done though, but also think its really tough on you, putting so much pressure on to 'become' the ubermum when sure you are anyway! If you're considering changing mind, could reintroduce after a while, when youre happy other activities are ingrained, with an understanding of the new boundaries. But dont do it cos Mum thinks you should, do it if and when it's right for your family.

Well my cousins didn't have a TV and spent a lot of time at their friends houses watching their TVs. On the other hand my kids have learnt a lot from TV.
We have had TV weeks, but maybe the getting rid is more for your benefit than theirs?

No child will be distant from their peers due to not watching telly these days.
Children talk about lots of other things, the days of discussing Grange Hill in the playground are long gone.

The first few days will taking a bit of re-adjusting to but after that you'll be fine - ignore negative comments.

I know a few folks round here without tvs. Though must say they watch stuff on internet and buy dvds now instead. But I admire them, they actually do stuff in the evenings. But I would miss Tv in the winter. Their DCs didn't/don't suffer.

Good for you. We've been considering getting rid of ours too. Not sure why your mother is so upset by it..... I think that getting rid of your telly is seen as a reproach to those who have one. Like you, I just don't like having it, and am not in any way worried about dcs missing out as our house is full of laptops!

I'm pg and thinking through the whole TV rationing thing so this thread is really interesting. DH and I have a TV but the only thing we use it for is to watch DVDs. We are too busy to bother with soap operas etc and as we never watch TV we never find out about upcoming TV shows or series so we never watch them either.

I do not feel particularly disadvantages when people at work talk about current TV shows that I have no knowledge of. When I was younger I watched a lot of TV (not allowed one in my bedroom though until I was 15 ish I think), but as I grew up I did much more physical stuff instead and much preferred it - it made me cooler too .

My big hate is advertising, I feel that it sets up expectations for children of what they "should" be allowed to have, I have read about the psychology involved and it's eye-opening. I hope to explain to my DCs, when they are old enough, how advertising works so that they know when they are being manipulated, as there is SO much advertising on TV it's unavoidable.

I think if you remove TV altogether (however tempting that sounds), it will become a guilty pleasure when they visit other friends. I was a chubby baby and my mum banned sweets, chocolate and sugarfor a few years - consequently I would gorge on them at friends houses and to this day, sugary stuff has a "naughty" appeal to me that means I have no self control at all around chocolate, cakes, biscuits etc and I wonder whether, if I had been allowed them in moderation, this would not be the case.

I digress, sorry, but it is all kind of linked, in a roundabout way. So I understand your motivation to spend more time with your CDs (and it's a noble one), and think that YANBU in that respect, however I think that YAB a bit extreme maybe, and perhaps rationing TV as others have suggested, and explaining why in as much depth as you can given the ages of your DCs, might be more productive. Could you make some sort of "activities in a hat" thing where the three of you write down lots of joint activities (eg baking, craft etc) and fold them up and stick them in a hat (or box, or bag) and you take turns to pick one to do instead of watching TV, so that they feel more involved in the decision? I think your mother is BU by the way and should butt out, but mothers and their opinions is a whole other thread!