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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ditch the TV?

44 replies

DidntChaKnow · 16/06/2012 22:59

I'd been thinking about it for ages but finally got rid of our telly the other day... My mother thinks I'm being incredibly cruel to my children (8 and 3), eldest is a real telly addict and is not impressed that I've got rid of it.

I've found myself using the TV more and more as a 'babysitter' since splitting with their dad last year, it's just so easy to let them go veg out while I lurk on MN get the housework done... So rather than attempting to ration it and face arguments with my eldest angel, I took the easy option and got rid.

My plan is now to be super mum and engage with them more (think baking, board games, etc)

I'm sat stewing over my mother's reaction, she got into a real strop this morning when she found out I had got rid. She is convinced that I am being very unreasonable, has any one else done this and had to deal with negative comments?! Am I really being a mean mummy??

OP posts:

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 17/06/2012 11:17

I imagine the TV chat at school still goes on, but is less homogenous because of the huge proliferation of channels, dvds, downloads etc and the invention of the internet, increased sophistication of gaming etc which means that fewer kids will all be watching the same thing at the same time.

I think the feeling left out thing would be more obvious when at 5.05pm, everyone in your class (except me, cos my mum thought it would give me a cockney accent) was watching Grange Hill and would spend the next break and lunch discussing it.

treadonthecracks · 17/06/2012 12:38

I sympathise. I have been tempted to throw ours out too. Whiney kids when it has to go off drives me mad.

DCs are 5 and 7 so it's only going to get worse I fear. At the moment we have just one TV in the front room, and the kids are allowed to use my laptop. It is reasonably easy to ration but when they eventually both have laptops, it'll be harder.

I ration it, 1 hour screen time a day. I end up using it as a bribe, to tidy up mainly. It's there so the temptation to stick it on is always there too.

TiggyD · 17/06/2012 13:05

TV is like duct tape. It can be very good or very bad depending on what you use it for.

ivykaty44 · 17/06/2012 13:11

I haven't got a tv - but then neither has my dad so he din't have a fit when my aerial broke and I didn't bother having it fixed as I couldn't justify the money on a peice of metal in the sky.

We don't have digital tv's so now have nothing to watch live tv on.

dd isn't hard done by and is now 13

Dd does a lot of sport and doesn't miss what she hasn't had for three years odd. Dd does use an ipod and a notebook so does have screens

PuppyMonkey · 17/06/2012 13:15

Yeah cos board games are so educational, compared to the telly.

Fourthdimensionallizard · 17/06/2012 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2kidsintow · 17/06/2012 22:18

I would never get rid of the TV. Half of what I know has come from school, another big chunk from what I have read and the rest has come from watching TV.

skybluepearl · 17/06/2012 22:24

Yes we got rid of ours. We did however join love film and a couple of nights a week watch something for an hour or so. Works well but then we never watched that much TV anyway.

skybluepearl · 17/06/2012 22:32

We had lots of TV as a child and I felt cheated like real life was passing me by.

Yes a little TV is fine but there are so many more fun and interesting and interactive things to be done.

Gentleness · 17/06/2012 23:15

My parents did it. We hated it for a bit but got used to it. It came back after several years. It had turned into a source of arguments and obsession between us (4 kids) and so they put their foot down. It was fine but one thing I've noticed about each of us (and other friends with no tv) is that if one is on in a room, our eyes are glued to it - cannot look away! I have to position myself so I can't see if I don't want to be rude!

Since leaving home I've never had a TV. I would watch dvds on the laptop and then there came iPlayer! Now I/we watch iPlayer way more than I'd like and it just reminds me that I can't really trust myself to switch a tv off and not waste time watching rubbish. Some people don't find that a problem I know.

I can totally see the effect on DS1 (2 3/4) when I let him watch more than a couple of things as a "babysitter". When it is switched off and the next day he will tantrum to watch more. If we don't watch for a couple of days, he isn't bothered. You'll be fine! Tough it out long enough to be able to really tell whether it works for your family and ignore all the negativity. Did you see the bizarre reactions on The Apprentice when one contestant talked about having not had tv? People get a bit defensive...

AdoraBell · 17/06/2012 23:19

No, you're not being mean. You know your DCs and what works for your family. Your mum shoud be minding her own bleedin business or helping you, if she's able to.

I have also considered putting a hammer through getting rid of the TV

inchoccyheaven · 17/06/2012 23:25

What's the difference between watching tv and watching something on iplayer etc on the laptop?

inchoccyheaven · 17/06/2012 23:26

Sorry that wasn't to anyone in particular just that some have said they don't have tv but watch stuff on computor, I was curious why that is better?

Gentleness · 17/06/2012 23:28

You get to pick, not just caught up in whatever happens to be showing. And when it finishes, continuing watching is a choice requiring action, not just the easiest option.

It's not THAT much better but best of both worlds IMO. I'd love to be able to say I never feel the need to veg in front of a moving picture, but particularly since having kids there are times when it just feels so necessary!

CharlotteLucas · 17/06/2012 23:33

YANBU. Yes, there are some great programmes, but they're a tiny fraction of the output - most of it is mind-sapping tripe you're better off without.

I grew up without one (poverty, not ideological reasons ), and never felt the lack of it, either as a child or as an adult.

QueenElizaBeatHer · 17/06/2012 23:36

I don't have a telly! My daughter (5) isn't bothered by not having one and never asks for it. She has her own DVD player in her room though, so she's not missing out, and I can watch DVDs on my laptop. My mum keeps telling me I'm cruel aswell! I know quite a few people who don't have a telly though.

iamme43 · 18/06/2012 08:14

If you want to take the tv away that's fine but I would be more concerned about discipline in your house.

Why could you not just ration it and stick to it?

PenelopePipPop · 18/06/2012 08:58

Hmmmm. I think YAB a bit U and I can kind of see where your Mum is coming from. But my DD is much younger than your DDs so bear that in mind.

DH and I have never had a TV and both grew up without one. We don't have one now and DD is 2. She does watch a bit of TV with her childminder and when we visit friends and likes it. But she doesn't ask about TV at home...yet!

I've always said I'll be quite relaxed about getting one when she is old enough to ask for one.

But there is a big difference about not having something and taking something away without consultation. Like deciding the whole family will go vegetarian or only have cold showers to save money overnight.

I think you need to ask why you don't want to ration it or face arguments. Rationing and arguing with our children are part of parenting. The problem with just taking it out of the equation entirely is actually you cannnot spend all the time baking, your children use it to veg out now (nothing wrong with that) and do not have loads of alternative strategies for just chilling, you are a single parent so need some time to yourself too. Rationing sounds like a far better option that going without totally even if that means being tough on your 8yo in the short-term.

Both DH and I growing up without TV spent hours as children re-reading the same books we had read before, sitting outside staring at the sky (seriously), plotting sinister ways to harm our siblings and just generally being unimaginably bored. We didn't spend all our free time hanging out with our parents being filled with awe, affection and wonder I'm afraid.

ivykaty44 · 18/06/2012 09:26

What's the difference between watching tv and watching something on iplayer etc on the laptop?

the lack of adverts, my dd2 doesn't get to see all the pest power adverts when she watches internet tv

as the other poster said - you have to go and pick out what you want to watch - this certainly decreased my tv watching, I will look through and find there is one program I fancy watching and then after it finishes go and do something else. Whereas when we had a working live tv I could sit on a sunday afternoon and watch tv as it keeps rolling without stopping.

dd and I are out a lot and so using the internet to view a program we just watch when we want to rather than when it is show on tv. We often watch casualty on a Sunday night after supper or we enjoyed the midwife series and watched on a wednesday evening after running

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